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Hi all,
I'm new to this and desperate for any advise please?
My Fiance left today. He wanted out for a while but only just admitted it to himself. I think it was too much hard work for him having a 6 month old baby so has gone back to him mum and dad!
She is my life and I am so scared of what will happen to us.
I have no family to help or to turn to. Both parents have passed away.
We've been renting a house that he was paying the rent on £1300 pcm.We had a larger place with extra bedrooms for when his 2 children from previous marriage stay every other weekend. This was one of his big issues that I wasnt contributing as much as him but though i am currently on Maternity Leave I pay all the bills and everything our daughter needs.I'm only getting SMP now of £123 a week. I've spoken to my employer and the earliest i can return is May.
The house is too large for me and I have no issues moving but I can not state to a landlord that I am drawing a salary or getting housing benefit. I have nothing to live on. How will I furnish a place, pay moving costs. Please can anyone help?
I've done a quick search and most landlords wont accept HB. If I am able to get HB, what will happen when i go back to work? How will i afford to pay for everything and Nursery for my daughter? Im so worried. Sorry this is coming out all garbled. I'm panicking.
I dont know what I'm going to do.
Hi Andrea36 and welcome to One Space
I am really sorry to hear of your fiances very recent departure, this is very early days and understandably your emotions and everything else will be all over the place for a while.
Just take one day at a time (i know this is easier said than done) and maybe you could tackle one thing at a time, firstly i would suggest that you contact our Money Expert (click) and they hopefully will be able to give you some advice on any benefits and other money related enquiries you may have.
You could also contact our Housing Advisor (click) who could advise you around housing issues.
I would imagine that nothing has to be decided right now as this is really early days.
How are you feeling today? Do you have any friends that are supporting you right know?
Hi Andrea36
Welcome and I am sorry to hear of all that you ae facing. The others have given you some great information so I look forward to hearing how you have got on. We are always here to talk to, as well.
Dear Andrea36
I am newly separated to, with two children aged 12 and 5. It will be a huge shock and I feel so sorry for you as i have been in that same place recently. But you will get through this.sedning lots of love.
Hi all,
Thank you all for your lovely comments and great advice. Really appreciate you all taking the time.
We are in a joint contract with the house. But Lettings is his speciality so hopefully he can get us out of the contract. He decided this so he needs to fix it. I have enough to organise so am leaving that to him. I've asked him not to tell the Agents until I find somewhere and he agreed. really dont want the pressure from them also.
He came and took all of his things the other day and didnt want to talk. He took all of my stepchildrens things too, I'm really going to miss them.
He offered to take our daughter full time. (Which means his parents looking after her) Which horrified me. I am scared its his long term plan. He has support there and knows i dont. I may not have family around but i am blessed with great friends. They are so supportive. My daughter is my life and I do everything to make sure she is happy and healthy. She has been so unsettled the last few days, I'm really trying to protect her from all this.
Thank you for those links. I've sent emails requesting information so hopefully I will hear from them soon.
I've contacted the council about going on the waiting list and they are sending a list of Estate Agents that accept HB. I've contacted the Benefits people and gone through the telephone interview, so hopefully I will hear from them too soon.
Thank you too Sparkling Lime for mentioning the Freecycle. I never thought of that. I will def look into it.
He has given me the rent for 1 month, so I'm not panicking so much now but actively looking.
His parents, I think are not getting involved. I've not heard from them and do not feel I can approach them. God knows what he has said about me.
I'm so sorry to hear of your recent seperation too Renelle. Its very lovely of you to reply to my post, I can imagine its still painful for you and really lovely of you to post a positive and inspiring comment. I keep thinking to myself I'm not the first person to go through this and wont be the last. I will get through this for the sake of my daughter and her happiness. I cant wait to be settled with my little girl. Just the two of us.
Thank you all so much, your comments and supportive messages have been so helpful.
Andrea xx
Wow Andrea36, you have been busy, well done. It sounds as though you are very pro-active. I know that you have to be at this time, but so many people find themselves unable to shift themselves.
It sounds as though your daughter is giving you strength, she can feel your tension and anxiety with it all, but hopefully now he has covered another months rent, you can relax, just a little bit.
I am glad to read that you have good friends around you. Do you have plans for the weekend?
Hi
What a shock for you.
Is he not going to carry on paying bills? He has gone back to his parents, so they must be aware of what's happening.
Who's name is on the lease for the property? Is it yours, his or joint?
You absolutely need to speak to him to get finances sorted. I'm sure you're tied into an agreement with the property, and he does need to be facing up to this.
As for the future, it is remarkable how you do cope. As for furnishing somewhere, you can get fantastic things second hand or off freecycle (I had to start again at the age of 42 and with four children. It isn't easy, but it is amazing what we can do for our children... I have lost my parents too).
Citizens advice will be able to give you a lot of advice.
Meanwhile, you need to talk to your ex - and if you can, include his parents.
I know today that all seems higher than Everest, but babysteps will get you there.