Hi
I've only just come across this sight, I have 2 children aged 10 & 4, had been married to my Husband for 6 years but together for 14, he works away for a month at a time then has a month at home.....He came home last month an announced he wasn't happy and was leaving! We have spoken and he said he needs to see how things go to see if we can reconcile. I was comepletely unaware of him been unhappy was a bolt out of the blue for me I was blissfully happy and couldn't of asked for a better marriage obviously he hid it well!
I am totally devestated and stuck as to what I do from here! I am still in the maritral home, but have been looking into other houses I could possibly rent and also if I would be able to claim any benefits, I am completely dependendent on him financially, he earns a good wage and he would never see the kids go short, but I can't afford to live in the house we have now, Also I'm not sure on what access he would have as when he is home he treats this as his time off!!
Does anyone have any links to any sights that may be useful for me to look at? I never imagined I would end up as a single mum and I have no idea what to do? The simplist things like starting the benefit claim, asking my ex for maintenence, sorting the bills out, moving house>?
Hi
Thank you for your reply I have checked out the links and also emailed some so thanks for the info. It's just so difficult as I never imagined I would be in this position, and never really thought of what i would need to do a single parent. I have close freinds and family that have all been brilliant these last few weeks. But as he works away for a month at a time things are just as they normally are at the moment! I seem to be doing all the talking and promising and getting nothig back! He should be back from his latest trip sometime this week so will be meeting up and talking properly and seeing how things go!
Sorry rambled on then! It's just so difficult knowing what to do first who to contact, for example should I look for a house to rent first or sort out if I would be able to get any help with that! Do I move out straight away or do i try and stay put and save up for all the things I would need to buy for a new house! Do I change all the names on the house stuff as at the minute its all in my name so I can deal with it all while he is away whereas now its not really my responsibilty! Do I sell my car and buy something cheaper to run! Its all just rambling around in my head and I have no idea what to do! I've tried making to do lists and things I need lists!!
Thanks you again for your help
Hi Rachael
I would suggest your first two prioties are legal advice and applying for any day to day benefits (not Housing Benefit at the moment until you have sorted housing)
Hi Rachael 1982
Welcome to One Space. You're right, there IS a lot to do and it is hard to know where to start. I will give you a breif overview:
1. Email our Money expert (click) to see what benefits you can claim, Don't forget to include the ages of your children. When your youngest becomes five you will be expected to look for work.
2. Think about housing, you can move to private rented and will get a certain amount towards the rent. You will need a bond and deposit. Contact our Housing expert for specialist help.
3. You and your husband need to agree an amount of money he will pay towards the children. See this site for guidance about drawing up your private agreement.
4. You do need to think about his time with the children, and he will need a place of his own to see them/have them to stay
5. You also need some legal advice. Ultimately you will need your own solicitor but in the meantime you can contact our Legal Expert with any queries
There is lots of friendly support and help here for you. Do you have local family and friends that can give your some emotional support at this time?