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Hi everyone
i have recently seperated from my husband (only been married 1yr!) when he left me & our 4wks old daughter. I now find myself in a house i cannot afford to stay in, no friends & nothing for me to stick around for anymore, so i was thinking of upping sticks & start a new life south west somewhere by the coast so i was wondering if anyone knows of any single moms that would like to houseshare to make things a bit cheaper for us both?
hi mary
ive always dreamt of living near the coast & visited many times for holidays etc but dont actually know anyone there but i suppose thats the idea of a fresh start & if i dont do it now there will always be something holding me back. My ex husb does want to maintain contact but works abroad for long periods of time so wouldnt be around too much anyway because of his work, he probably wont like it but it is something i have thought long & hard about & i would be keen for him to have access when he is in the uk, obvoisuly the practicalities of this would need to be a two way street between us both which i am keen to maintain.
x
sorry ive posted ads on gumtree & room share websites but im finding they want proffessionals not a single mom with a baby!
Hey lizbuff,
I agree - why not 'do it' now while you can? Good for you - hope you manage to find somewhere nice for you & your little girl to move to. Speaking as someone who once lived by the sea, I loved it & still miss going to sleep (& waking up) to the sound of the waves.
Glad that you have considered your ex husband's access to your daughter when thinking about your move. Since he works abroad for long periods, it should have very little real impact on how/when he sees your little girl. It sounds like you have a realistic attitude about keeping him involved in your daughter's life which is good to hear.
hi mary
i know it does sound like a radical idea but your right i have thought it through long & hard i just need someone to help give us start & a step in the right direction to help us to make it happen! i will just have to keep scouring thhe internet & posting messages & hopefully something will come along!
x
The best of luck, lizbuff. Let us know how you get on 
P.s. Keep on trying with the websites - not everyone can want 'professionals'! Oh & just so you know, have edited your real name from your last two posts to protect your privacy x
ha ha thank you im new to all of this!!
Hi Lizbuff
I am new to this today but will try and respond as best I can. I am originally from Berkshire and have been divorced/separated for 9 years! about two years ago I decided to move to Devon and I found it a struggle as a single parent of 3 children (one has autism!). My sister lived this way and my parents were looking to retire here. It was very hard as although I had made friends after my seperation, having moved area meant I literally had to re-start the process (at least I guess I had my sister and her family!). To be honest I had a good career but could not transfer it so I had no job.
It was hard work to find a place. I scoured the internet, agencies and spoke to the council but there was nothing. I did decide to go to Devon for a week at my sisters and literally scoured everything I could. I got hit back so many times because of my situ that it made me almost give up. However, on the third day in Devon I came across the most obscure advert for a house that was at a reasonable price. The agent sounded nice and I just reeled of my situ including 2 cats and a dog! He was fine, went to see house and fell in love. Long story short we have been living in Devon for just over a year and it was frankly the best decision I ever made. We have lovely understanding neighbours, better support and all my relationships have become richer.
Don't give up. Keep explaining your situation. There are people out there that will accept your situ. It is hard work and often can be soul destroying but if you keep going and tell yourself you can do this then you can. However, never believe it will be easy otherwise you will fail. Keep working hard and dont give up.
Hope this helped although I think I was rambling a little bit :( xx
Hi Dibbs
Thank you so much for your comments, at last someone who is living my dream & can confirm it can be done!!
I understand its going to be hard & like you i will get lots of knockbacks but......ill still do it eventually!!! Ill keep persevering on the internet, ive got a month before i have to vacate this house & if the worst comes to the worst then i can stop with my cousin for as long as i need to until i can pull it off!
Thanks again
xx
Thanks for sharing your story, dibbs - helpful to lizzbuff & it has also inspired me She who dares & all that...
You are very welcome. I am pleased I have helped and inspired
thanks & if you can think of any way i can make this happen......let me know!!
Hi lizbuff (love your name!)
I recently came across a website called Trusted Housesitters, I was thinking that you could see if there was a 2 or 4 week housesit in an area that you would like to live and do that in the short term, as perhaps once you are in the area, it might be easier to find something?
I am definitely going to look into it for holidays next year, save money on the accommodation!
Hi Anna
Thats a good idea, i will look into that, its just a bit scary dragging my daughter down there without nowing for sure if we can stay but your right i could use that time to sort something more permenant out....Thanks!! xx
Does your cousin live near the coast?
one cousin lives in falmouth but im thinking thats a bit too far & he lives in a houseshare with his GF so i wouldnt be able to stop with them :( just asked him! My other cousin has said she will put us up if we literally have nowhere to go but she lives in the midlands & i really wanted out of the midlands completely.
Well it is always good to have a back up plan and good to know that she is there if you need her.
Good luck with the search and keep us informed :)
Hello lizbuff - Welcome to One Space.
Sorry to hear about your recent separation. It sounds as though you don't have a support system where you are currently living, so it seems a reasonable idea to 'start again' with your daughter somewhere new. Do you have family in the South West, or is it an area you've enjoyed visiting?
Have you looked at our local support page for the South West here? It might be a good place to start. There are several ways of finding houseshares, as I'm sure you're aware; have you looked on Gumtree or Easy Roommate?
A couple of questions spring to mind; will your ex partner be maintaining contact with your daughter? Do you have any concerns about how he may react when he is told you are relocating?
Best wishes,
Mary