Hi I am new to this Site. I am going through a tough time. I am a single mum to a 3 year old  daughter. I left my abusive husband two years ago. We have been in temporary accommodation ever since as my local council are insisting that this is relationship breakdown and not domestic violence. So they are insisting that I should go back andlive in one room with my daughter and my ex lives inother living room. I truly believe that I will not be safe. I have had 3 agencies say that this is domestic abuse but as he did not hit me  and Inever called the police my council is insisting that Ishould return. Victim Support and my MP have also written on my behalf. I now have a Notice Ro Quit by 11th Oct.  I do not want to go to social services as I have herd they only have a duty to my child so could put her in foster care until I can provide a home for her. I really don't know what to do next.

Posted on: October 7, 2013 - 1:57am
She Ra

Have you been to a solicitor? If not i suggest you seek a free 30 mins consultation 

have you spoken to woman's aid? 

Also you could talk to shelter they give free housing advice.

I wish you luck, please let us know how you get on, 

you will need to fight this I'm afraid.


Posted on: October 7, 2013 - 4:12am

Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi RekalM and welcome to One space,

I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time of it, it really baffles the mind that the council are still insisting it is not DV after having supporting letters  from several organisations saying it is.

IDT has suggested getting some legal advice if you haven't already done so, you can also post a message to our Domestic Abuse expert to see what she would recommend.


Posted on: October 7, 2013 - 6:46am


Thanks IamDoingThis and SallyW. I called a spoke to a community legal advice service and spoke to a local lawyer. I was told that I was just past the legal aide threshold. The lawyer has advise that it will cost £150 per letter for them to represent me. I cannot afford this.
When I first left Southwark Women's Aid assessed my case and offered me a place in a refuge. However as I was working I was told it would cost £400 a week. I had to refuse the place as I could not afford this. I really wish I had done this now, but I tried to keep working to be able to provide for my daughter.
I have gone through a round of rejections and appeals. I now have a Solace Women's Aid case worker, who has also written on my behalf. However I think my Council are not going to budge.
My ward/Councillor has asked them to advise on my case and the Team have not responded yet. Leaves me a week to find a home.

Posted on: October 7, 2013 - 8:54am

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Please check with Women's Aid if a refuge place is available now, after all the circumstances have changed.

And do email our Domestic Abuse expert as Sally has suggested

Posted on: October 7, 2013 - 6:53pm


Thanks Louise.

I have asked Lesley for advice.

I think as I am not in my ex's house anymore my rating as medium to high risk has gone down, so probably the refuge would
Not be available of right for my daughter and I.

I am calling for advice anyway, will also try social

Posted on: October 8, 2013 - 3:51pm


Oh my goodness you poor thing.  You have done so well - I am totally baffled by the council's viewpoint but I have heard of similar things such as siblings being allowed contact with a father who has beaten their sister but never laid a finger on them.....yet.  

You should get some good advice from the experts on here.  Stay strong you've been an amazing mum



Posted on: October 8, 2013 - 3:52pm

Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Do keep us updated RekalM on how things progress, fingers crossed the council take note of your MP's involvement and finally see some sense. 

Posted on: October 8, 2013 - 4:22pm