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AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Aw, Sparkling, I wish I was as patient as you - and my almost 17 year old has no syndromes apart from teenager's.....
But your not washing thing made me remember: I have a friend whose son (then 16) also has Asperger's and while I was round their house one day he said he was bored, he didn't want to play a board game.... I told him when my No2 son was bored he went and had a shower. My friend said that will never happen, and lo and behold, 5 minutes later this boy went in the shower :-) So tell your son, you know of these boys, when they're bored they have showers.... Who knows what will happen.... :-)
I'll certainly give it a go. Thank you.
Hey that would be excellent if it worked...good thought. My son went through a really grubby phase when he was about 14-15, he just smelled all the time, would not wear anything except the same black t shirt and joggers, his room was just awful and he would not wash or shower. Although he has no special needs, he was bullied before this time because he had the worst acne you have ever seen, I got him better and re-integrated to school but hise self-esteem was very low and in retrospect I think his behaviour was mostly caused by wanting to feel safe.
Sparkling, I really hear the frustration in the post and I think the patience that you and the rest of the family show is remarkable. It is so hard when you thought things were in place and you could take your foot off the gas for a short while. It is easy for me to say that things will work out and they will settle down BUT THEY WILL.
Sending you a very big hug this morning 
I think you're amazing Sparkling, and things will work out, you'll see
My daughter's friend does foundation art, so we're going to see if she can come over next Monday as she will be able to interpret stuff far better than me 
They're on half term next week, and I've already stated I'll be sticking to my working hours next week to get this on track.
It could be if he "gets it" he'll settle down again. Gawd...
Not gone into work this afternoon as I've been asked to go in tomorrow. Have to help colleague which means my stuff will be left... Guess who'll get a bollocking on Friday!! 
Sorting the kitchen table. Crafting stuff into boxes. Seventeen year old helping shift some stuff under table which has made a difference.
Seventeen year old can possibly see I'm on his side here (or he wouldn't have helped!). He does keep rolling his eyes upwards, however.
Aww sparklinglime, I feel for you. Teenagers aren't easy at the best of times and when it comes down to preparing for their futures, whether it be studying or working, it is stressful for us as we just want to see them settled.
My foster brother has learning difficulties and he was adamant from about the age of 13 that he wanted to join the Navy. It was all he would talk about whenever we saw him. He joined the sea cadets and loved it, but my dad knew that because of his mental health he wouldn't get into the Navy, but Z wouldn't have any of it. So we had to let nature run its course. After school, Z applied to the Navy...he didn't get in for a number of reasons, he was really upset but surprisingly he accepted it with grace, I think that although it was a dream broken, he needed to hear it from them rather than from us. The reason I am saying this is because sometimes we need our kids to follow their dreams and learn from reality, with our support at all times.
He needs to find his own way in this world, so as hard as it is, don't let him feel wrong for his choices, he will learn in his own way.
From what I have read of you and your family, you all do a sterling job of pulling together, this is just another blip that you will all get through. Its great that your daughters friend will be able to help.
Happy sorting today, I hope you have a good day 
Thanks Anna. I have tried to get him to join the Air Cadets, but he has always refused to go, even with me offering to sit in the car outside (does the trick somtimes).
My kitchen table looks lovely.
Glad your table is sorted sparkling, can totally sympathise with you and the situation with your son it can be sooo frustrating when they swip and swap between subjects/options.
Sounds like you and your other children are doing a grand job of supporting him though, hopefully he will find his niche soon.
Something that i did with my son was to make an appointment to see a careers advisor with him (this helps as you can ask questions they won't think off) thankfully we met someone that was pretty good and they gave us lots of informtion and websites to research about what grades etc would be needed for different job choices that K was interested in, this seemed to work really well for K.
Please come and sort my table, Sparkling!!!!! I really need that!!!! Neither my 18, nor the 16 year old or the 14 year old will do it. And then there's the rest of the house, if you're bored........
I have to say the table was covered in my stuff... It is now boxed and the boxes are labelled - for me very impressive! The gaps though are already being hidden my various things!
We have an appointment with the careers advisor this month Sally W. The careers advisor and educational psychologist - and I - thought we'd cracked it! That will be the day though...
They are funny (when you can ungrit your teeth for a moment!) aren't they!?
He is interested in being a Royal Air Force pilot, but won't join the air cadets, its such a shame, because we can see now we are adults the logical sense, however teens have a completely different outlook - well I'm talking about my daughter here really!!
Keep us informed, won't you sparkling, about how it goes with careers adviser.
A bit of an explanation.
My son has autism/Aspurger's. When he's happy life is dandy, when he's down he can break our hearts.
Summer was incredibly difficult. He had inteviews for college - first mechanical engineering (had to pass maths and english to be accepted), then Art. After art it was all he wanted to do and I was to cancel his place on mechanical engineering...
I refused, as we already had agreed to make no decisions until he had his GCSE results.
Into the summer holidays and out of the blue he wanted to do mechanical engineering again. Ok... fair enough...
Then days before the GCSE results, we went for a ride which happened to go past the local RAF base and the Hawks were flying. "to think in five years time I could be flying one of those"
My daughter and I looked in horror at each other while I reminded him that it was difficult to be a pilot now after they had made loads redundant and scrapped planes (had been enough at the time to make him change if mind about being a pilot).
GCSEs came, and he did so well. Bs and Cs - except for a D in English and E in Maths. Mechanical engineering was a non starter.
Talking to his friends he then decided he wanted to do A levels.
A long chat with deputy head and he ended up going to Art, as has a good chance of doing well and finding a way to a good future. I broke his heart that day but he made the choice. He was given the option of returning to school to do A levels until October half-term. Half-term came and I had a chat with him reminding him that he still had this choice.
No, he wanted to stay at Art and was enjoying it.
Since Christmas though, he isn't happy. He can no longer 'just' draw aeroplanes - and his work is amazing. He now has to expand and do 3-models and collages about emotions... We had a chat in the car, and he was saying he now wants to do A levels.
Hence the Aggghhhh....
Oh yes, and he wants to be an RAF pilot again too. (thud, thud, thud - me banging head on table).
So... I have told him he is to bring a list of what he needs to be doing home from college. His big brother and I are going to help him understand what is needed and he is going to complete it to a high standard (half-term is next week here). He has to do well to prove to the college that he an work hard and achieve good marks. I have told them at work that I will be leaving on time during the half term to do this. Colleague says take the week off, but we all know that won't happen!! They have said they'll make sure I do leave!
He has to prove he can achieve good marks to be considered for other courses.
He is stomping around the house. He must have such a headache from the constant frown on his face, and he is refusing to change his clothes or have showers (which he does do with about 100 hours of negotiating (ok, slight exagerration, possibly...).
He does agree to what I've said though, about proving he will work.
There I was foolishly thinking that I could chill for the next couple of years while he was doing Art!
He is an amazingly complex personality. He takes the patience of a saint - which all of us do seem to at least have some patience - to understand, encourage and cajoul on with things.
This boy doesn't do homework as he believes that this is home, and you work in college. He's hardly ever done homework after it got to the point where it almost broke all of us here. A chat with the Head took away that nightmare from us.
So, from the Sparlinglime household its a case of here we go again.
Somebody pass the fizzy water.