I was with my ex, on and off, for 3 years, until I found out I was pregnant. Then it became definitely OFF. He went home to Australia and I haven't heard from him since. I tried to contact him a few months ago, but his mother wouldn't put him on the phone. Our son is 8 months old and is completely sweet. I have loved him and taken care of him and adored him, and it does my head in that his father has always acted like he doesn't exist. Where did the men go? I can't call this Aussie deadbeat a man
Hi gorillian and welcome to One Space.
It must have been upsetting that your ex's mother wouldn't put him on the phone. Do you know her? Have you spoken before?
Do you have an email address for him? I wonder if you would consider writing him a last email telling him about his son and let him know that you would love them to have some sort of relationship. Then you can put this matter to bed.
sparklinglime, unfortunately the statistics of how many absent fathers remain completely absent are actually quite high, but as you say and as we regularly discuss on these boards, there is very little you can do about it.
If you write a letter to him gorillian then you know that you have done all that you can. If you get no response you know where you stand and can get on with your life. We often hear of the importance of fathers in our childrens lives, however if the father chooses to be absent, our children can still thrive in a one parent family.
It sounds as though you are completely enjoying your boy. Don't let your ex shadow that. Do you have local family and friends?
Very few men chose not to be involved with their children. We just hear more of the parents who don't step up to the mark.
You can't change the behaviour of your ex though. Enjoy your son and don't worry about those who chose not to be part of his life.