Hello Mr L R
Welcome to One Space!
No-one will label you as anything, you can be an involved dad even if you do not live with your children. You're right though: there is a presumption in the benefit system of one parent being the one with majority care.
Re money, there are two aspects to think about. One is the way the system works, ie the person who has the entitlement to the child benefit gets the related benefits for that child ie working tax credit and child tax credit. If you are going to have the boys for half the time then it makes sense that each of you (you and their mum) get that entitlement for one child each......but it depends whether she is agreeable to that arrangement, she might well insist on keeping the entitlement to both, in which case you would receive nothing. It can be a very unfair system!
Secondly.,re chiild support, the "formula" is that for two children you would pay 20% of your gross income to the other parent, but if you have the boys for more than 104 nights per year (that works out at approx 2 nights a week) then the amount is reduced accordingly. However, you do not have to use the CSA, you can make your own agreement. If you have the boys for half the time then it makes sense for very little maintenance to change hands, as you are each "maintaining" them for half the time.....you then need to think about "so do we go halves on everything such as swimming lessons/clothes" etc. See this website about drawing up an agreement together.
We have experts on the benefit system and on the Child support agency on here but I think the first thing you need to sort out is whether you and the boys mum can agree to split the child benefit entitlement and draw up your own agreement re child support
Hi
No one is going to consider you to be an absent parent when you are regularly involved in the day to day lives of the children, and it sounds as if they do have a steady life style already.
I take it your main concern is with maintenance.
I'm guessing that it would depend on the income of each parent...
If the CSA applies, then they will consider your income, and maintenance would be reduced according to the number of nights the children spend with each parent. I believe that there have been instances where working tax credits and child tax credits have been split too. This is something you would need to seek advice to - and someone may be able to post a link which will help.