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Hi I'm currently in a three bedroom house and am thinking of moving into something smaller. In doing this I am also considering the option of moving to another town to be nearer family who hopefully will be able to support more. It's nothing set in stone yet as I'm currently in a relationship here although I think it's nearing it's end for mutual reasons and I wouldn't go untill it was certainly over plus it means leaving all my friends and L moving schools and leaving friends behind.
But what I do need to know is can I do this without L's dads permission?
Any help and advice would be great
Of course you can move house without his permission.
What are the curent contact arangments ? Is there a court order for contact or not?
It all depends on a few things, If you wish to move further away from him and there is an order then you'd have to go back to court and a variation on the order etc
If it's agreed between the two of you, then who does the travelling Does he collect the child?
You would need to talk to him and try and re-agree on another arangment.
Can you tell us a little more so we can help
Hi hazeleyes and imdoingthis thanks for your replys. It's to another town about 30 miles from where I live now. At the moment contact is every other weekend from pick up from school till 4pm Sunday afternoon. Dad collects him and drops him off. There's no cout order or anything like that in place just a agreement that L lives with me and that dad has him every other weekend and for some school holidays
Hi zippy,
As it sounds as though your reasons for moving would benefit both you and L in terms of family support, I can't see any reason why there would be a problem legally (especially given that L's dad drives).
Can you talk to L's dad about your plans or is that totally out of the question?
Hi Mary. Sorry if I gave the wrong impression about L's dad but unfortunately he doesn't drive but his new wife does so she does all the running around to pick up and drop off with dad in tow so to speak. I don't know whether to talk to him or not I think it would just cause a lot of arguments that I'm really not up to
Just a thought... Would you be able to help with the travelling? When The Git was going to move across country I offered to meet him half way, but then this was, I felt, so that he wouldn't be too tired to drive back.
Good luck with the move. It will be lovely to have family around you.
I understand that.
It's a shame he doesn't drive himself, as that would make any argument he had null and void, as 30 miles is no distance at all in a car.
Perhaps best to see how things work out before embarking on a conversation that might turn into row. You know where we are if/when you decide to make a move x
legally can a partner stop a person from moving away? so if i decided to more can my partner legally stop me? thats a scary thought!
Hi sparkling I don't drive either so it's going to be difficult for both of us. I don't mind traveling part way but I don't think that will be good enough for L's dad.
thanks Mary
chocolate81. It is scary isn't it. I know there's rules about going to another country but not 100% certain on all the rules
Hi zippy and chocolate81, you are not legally obliged to live near your ex partner in the UK, unless stated in a court order.
zippy, I know that at the moment you are in contemplation about moving. I have a friend who moved to be closer to her family, however she soon found out that they were busy with their own lives, families, jobs etc, that she got more support when she was living miles away!!
I know this isn't the case for everyone, I just wanted to share it with you especially as you say that you have friends and L has friends in your area now.
I think it would be a good idea to have the discussion with your ex sooner rather than later though. What is the public transport like? How would you feel if he decided he could only see L once a month?
Hi Anna I can see where your coming from with the support aspect, I'd like to think I'd get some help but I know that theres no certainty of this. It is helpful to know that I can move as its starting to look like its going to happen more so than not happen. Theres direct train services between the town where I'd be and the next major city to where L's dad is but I know it can be tricky to get to the train station from were they live. I wouldn't mind how often they saw each other I think it would be a shame if it had to drop to once a month especially at the min considering other recent events (see insecure six year old post). The other thing obviously if we do go it means it is over with me and my current partner and Im not sure how L's gonna react to that he already feels let down by men and now anothers going to walk away by the looks of it
Hi zippy I hear what you are saying but it is all about how YOU react. As long as you keep L's world secure then he will be fine. Be careful not to give him negative messages around men, however. After I split up from my boys' dad, I had a long relationship and was really upset when that ended. My son was older than L but he was convinced it was his fault ("Is it because we are naughty boys that he doesn't want to be with us?") L will take his cue from you...if you are positive and seeing the move as an adventure then so will he
Well said Louise, I agree entirely. zippy you set the pace.
Hi Louise and Anna Thanks for your replys I'd never really thought of it like that. It sounds like a great idea
Hi zippy. I can't be absolutely sure, but I do think you can move without L's Dad's permisssion. It's to another town isn't it? How far is it from where you are living now?