Footie13

About 3 years ago I worked in Spain for a year, I have a young baby but am seperated from mother, baby lives with her mum. I have been offered to work abroad again for a 1-2 year contract. Do I lose my PR rights? Can I insiste baby comes over on visits? do i still need to pay cs if I'm no longer in same country? 

Posted on: March 22, 2012 - 12:16pm
Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Footie13

You don't lose your Parental Responsibility. As for visits, you need to negptiate those, there are no "rights" With regard to the position on child support, the mum will still need to feed and clothe your child, wherever you live.Check out the position on payments with our expert on Child Support (click to email her)

Posted on: March 22, 2012 - 1:09pm

Footie13

The mum says she can't afford to fly baby & herself over on visits (she doesn't work) & there's no way I could afford it. This means I would hardly ever see my daughter, can't use Skype etc as we both don't own a lap top. It's an offer of a life time & even thou I love my child I cant put my life on hold. Could I take her with me? What right do I have to apy for custody & move her abroad away from her mum? 

Posted on: March 22, 2012 - 1:17pm

Tinkerbell2
DoppleMe

Hold on afew days ago you were saying you are not a great dad & ashamed of your daughters colour & now your trying take take her from her mother for no real reason, you wouldn't stand a chance in court as she's not in real danger and you said yourself she's a great mother! you are being so selfish & not thinking of your poor child's needs... I don't care what site rules are (if any) YOUR A BLOODY DISGRACE 

Posted on: March 22, 2012 - 1:21pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

You need to get sone legal advice about that, Footie 13, I am thinking that her mum would strongly oppose you taking her to another country for a year or two., and in any case you need the signature of anyone with Parental Responsibility to take a child out of the country for more than a short holiday. Email our Legal Expert here

Posted on: March 22, 2012 - 1:24pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

If its an offer of a lifetime, it sounds as if you have made your mind up.

In my opinion, the relationship you have with your daughter is not strong enough to even consider this.

Perhaps the cost of buying laptops so that Skype can be set up would be a good starting point.   When you have holidays then you need to consider coming to this country to see your daughter.

I feel that you if go down this route then the relationship you have with your ex - which sounds as if she is doing what she can to enable contact to take place will be pushed beyond limits.

You chose to take this contract, then that's great.  I'm sure your daughter's Mum will be fine about it.  You still need to be a responsible parent though and stop and think a bit here before changing the status quo of your daughter's life, and perhaps trying to come up with more agreeable suggestions...

Good luck with this though.

 

Posted on: March 22, 2012 - 2:59pm

littleangel
DoppleMe

Footie13,

I think you are thinking only of yourself here. I mean why should your ex drag herself and the baby over to you when you chose to leave and by your own admission it is your fault you do not live with your baby now? Seriously, are you for real? Why would you try and take a baby from its loving mum to another country just because you dont want to come over and visit?!

you need to get real and fast!

Posted on: March 22, 2012 - 5:01pm

Footie13

Correct me if wrong but don't parents have 50 50 right? That surly means I can take baby if I want. My ex is a great mum but I want to see my daughter, I think it's unfair that my ex won't bring my baby abroad to see me, I can't just drop work and fly back over whereas she doesn't work so has all the time in the world. Yes she left me as I wasn't supportive but why should be child suffer and not see both parents. Yes it's my choice to move but I must have a right to take baby with me even if that means applying for full custody!

Posted on: March 22, 2012 - 5:59pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I do recommend you take some advice, Footie. I am not a lawyer but I doubt that you will be advised that it would be an easy thing to accomplish. However, if you live a long way from your child then it could reduce your child support payments if you are the one travelling to see the child, but the Child Support Agency expert will be able to advise you about that,

As for "rights" of parents, there are no such things. However, the child has a "right" to a relationship with both parents provided it is safe and practical for this to happen.

Posted on: March 22, 2012 - 6:15pm

littleangel
DoppleMe

Footie,Why are you so interested in your rights? What about your childs rights? Surely she comes first? And if there was such a thing as parents rights, what makes you think your rights count more than your Ex's who has been caring for your daughter alone all this time?

I cant believe you are even questioning why your ex wont trek your daughter abroad to see you?! Its unbelievable. I would swim across the ocean to see my child. So why cant you save some money and fly over? You arent going to be working every day for two years and if you are and you love your daughter like you claim to, why would you even consider taking the job? You ask why your life should be put on hold?!!!!! Well excuse me, but hasnt your ex (and all other decent parents) put her life on hold to care for your daughter? Parents get 50/50 responsibilty not Rights! Have you done your 50% share of bringing up your daughter yet? Dont you think that the occasional flight over here to see her would be included in your 50% responsibilty?

If you want to be the better father you talk about then I sugest you step up and be a dad to your child!!! Your ex is doing her part already and has been kind enough to give you an oppurtunity to be there for your little girl, and you want to repay her by bringing up this nonsense about taking your daughter abroad

(MODERATOR: post edited)

Posted on: March 22, 2012 - 8:32pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi again Footie13, it does seem that there are some obstacles here.

I guess that if you are "working all the time" when in Spain then it would be difficult to spend time with your daughter even if she went with you?

Posted on: March 23, 2012 - 9:34am

HKSuey

I brought my daughter to Hong Kong because I was offered a contract here.  However, it was my choice and not her father's so I paid for him to come to visit us in HK as I didn't see why he should have to foot the bill for my decision.  I also ensure she goes home twice a year to see him.

I think you are irresponsible and selfish expecting your childs mother to pay for them to visit you.  It's you're choice so you pay.

 

Posted on: May 30, 2012 - 5:00am

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi HKSuey, welcome to One Space.

How is your daughters relationship with her dad? I am presuming it is pretty strong because you have encouraged it all the way.

How is your relationship with your ex?

Posted on: May 30, 2012 - 4:37pm

Natural Mystic

Footie, I'm sorry but I find your posts irresponsible and extremely selfish.

 

One comment alone ... "Do I have to pay for my child if I'm not in the same country" Foot in Mouth

Posted on: November 9, 2012 - 3:20pm