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I was talking to a lady over the weekend and she is a single parent with two grown-up boys. She said the hardest thing for her was the "assumptions" that people make and the one she hated most was that everyone was always telling her to make the children stand on their own two feet because they assumed she smothered them, and waited on them hand foot and finger. So if she was at her friend's and said "Better get home and see to tea", the friend would say "ohhh let them get their own tea, you do too much for them" Her view was that if she had a PARTNER also coming home for his tea then the friend would not think it was wrong.
It set me thinking about assumptions people make about single parents. We all know about the ridiculous media portrayals but I thought this would make a good topic with experiences FROM YOUR OWN LIVES.....what have you found to be the most annoying/upsetting assumptions people have made about you because you are a single parent?
The assumption that somewhere 'you' must have failed in your relationship where the case may be that you took the couragious step to leave your partner as to stay would have caused more damage to your child and that in fact your partner has failed you.
The assumption that your child may be less able at school when in fact they were brilliant before the split and continue to be afterwards.
The assumption you became a lone parent in order to attain social housing and benefits-despite the fact you rent privately and work harder then some together parents and you've compromised your own ability to climb the material ladder in order to be the all round parent to your child/ren.
The assumption that if invited to two parent functions you'll be after their men/women.
The assumption you are on the look out for free babysitting despite the fact you always pay for childcare.
I can see I'm beginning to grrr now so better stop.
Just to finish on a poignant note. I took my girls away to a hotel recently and my older daughter said " mum, I'm going to tell people that your husband, our dad is away in the forces. Just so people will actually talk to us"!!. How sad is that, that she felt the need to make up a fictional scenario in order to stop people's assumptions.
Some really interesting comments so far on this thread. My real bugbear was that some people expect children with only one parent to be total thugs. My boys are both hard working and polite and have good values and I hear lots of good things about other One Spacer's children too!
Anyone else?
I suppose I've had the opposite to others. I am still often made to feel inadequate because I don't do everything for them and they are very independent. For example I don't do their washing anymore (when I still did, I'd fold it after and take it to their room for them to put away and they'd promptly pull the bottom bit out, making everything go all over the floor and it all ended up in the wash again. So I said I wasn't doing it anymore and they had to do it themselves). I don't make them sandwiches for school. They all have to make dinner at some point. I am not the taxi service etc. etc.
I am a bad mother. 
Interesting thread Louise, I like it, hopefully it will show that we have all experienced some sort of prejudice, so no one is alone in it.
Being quite a young mum (well 22) with a mixed race child, people would assume I had had a one night stand whilst out clubbing, many people would blatantly come up to me and ask if she was mine!! This used to upset me and I would feel like I would have to justify that I had been with my ex for 4 years previously..... then people would often ask me if he still sees her (rude?) and I would actually feel proud saying Yes fortnightly. How sad. We are a very mixed society and families come in many shapes and sizes and we should all be respected and show respect regardless of how, where or why our babies are conceived.
Now I don't justify anything to anyone...its none of their business! 
I was talking to someone and he knew I'd split from my partner and knew I'd got seven children he said so when do they see their dad's ?
I just looked at him and said dad, when do they see their dad?
He was in a professional role at the time too.
I also get people assume I 'struggle' or carnt coap well with chores and cleaning etc they are all turned out immaculate on time for school so just because I have a few children must mean I carnt manage but the opposite is true
Then I wonders if I have ever judged without realising but I'm quite aware now of situations.
Sorry double post
It can be shocking though, can't it?
I think there is such a back lash with things now with Cameron and dear Ian Duncan Smith spouting their inflammatory comments leading people to "assume" when perhaps people had got to the point of acceptance?
It always surprised me how many once friends, chose not to stay in touch when I got divorced. Some did come out of the woodwork further down the line when they could clearly see that The Git was not getting his priorities right, but I'm afraid I turned them away. The worse part of it was that they didn't keep in touch with the children.
What assumptions they were making there, I can't quite be sure. I like to think that my lot were well-behaved and rather nice children (ok third one could be challenging at time with his problems), so why lose touch with them, I have no idea.
Sorry if that's gone off topic.
People sometimes find it hard to cope with a fundamental change in their concept of a person. So, just as when a person may be coping with a challenging illness such as cancer, people disappear off the radar, so too if we move from being married to that different status of single parent. it is not that they don't care, it is just that they can't cope. Personally, I have always thought that if a person can't cope with that then I am not sure I want them as my friend anyway! true friends are there through thick and thin.
Hopeful I agree with not doing everything for our children...I had the washing thing too where it would end up on the floor, now it's their problem.
So...misconceptions about single parents. I hated the misconception that my children were missing out in some way. They became much happier and more secure after we split up!
Has everyone seen our 20 single parents - 20 thoughts, that a photographer created with some of our parents that we worked with a few years ago. That has some good phrases that hopefully turns some people's misconceptions around....
I have to say that I have the same things said to me at work. My boss seems to expect the children (I know my lot are grown up-ish) to do all the things his wife does. Me listening to him really is what has led to a breakdown of things at home, leading to more problems for me.
While I was getting income support I feel people were seeing me as being lazy and taking an easy option while having absolutely everything paid for (utility bills, TV licence etc). They were surprised when I corrected them - and pointed out that up until that point I'd worked full time for 24 years...
Others not appreciating the levels of responsibility you have when you are on your own without another parent to share decisions with.
The assumption that you have no money (ok, that is a right one), so they don't ask your children to parties as they think you can't afford it, and you don't get included on nights out for the same reason.
Also the terror and assumptions made by my neighbours when they heard that a single parent was moving in with four children. Let's just say they were surprised that the children were well disciplined, polite and helpful. They were also surprised that I was divorced after a 20 year marriage - not what they were expecting at all. And bless them, they were all lovely to me and some even apologised!
I could go on!!