Tinkerbell2
DoppleMe

Ive been off and on with the same guy for a few years. Our relationship has always been a struggle due to both being the parental parents and the exs making our lifes a nightmare and jealous people have always had something to say about our relationship. 

We recently got back together but ive been more miserable than happy. This time round ive noticed alot of vocal abuse and random mean outbursts via messages when he is drunk.

People say walk about that its not that easy when you love someone. I have known him for about 12 years and never known him to be like this  before and think there must be a reason why we always get back together. When we are together in person the relationship is great.im not a weak person when it comes to relationships and always done what I thought was right but with him I am so confused :(

 

Posted on: July 13, 2014 - 2:52pm
Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Wow Tinkerbell2 i can understand why you maybe confused, why or what has been the reason you always seperated before? was the abusive texts etc aimed at you or towards others?

 

Posted on: July 13, 2014 - 6:24pm

Tinkerbell2
DoppleMe

Thanks for the reply Sally W. It was never really the right time to settle down before as we was both so focused on  on our children and making sure they were settled iin life.

All the nasty messages are aimed at me, mainly when drunk but he is a very moody person and high maintenance.  If I say something cute im labeled needy  then if im distant im labeled unaffectionate- 

Posted on: July 14, 2014 - 9:53pm

Skyflower
DoppleMe

Tinkerbell2 you should feel he is your friend and feel comfortable and supported, since you know him since so long and you know him well. why does he need to label you and you should finally feel relaxed and happy, the kids settled and all, poor you, a good relationship is not confusing, and not painful. What would you like to happen ? 

Posted on: July 14, 2014 - 10:57pm

Tinkerbell2
DoppleMe

In a perfect world I would like to live happily ever after :) but starting to reaslise that is not real life so I guess I want more respect and to feel alot more loved. I need security for my daughter and myself 

Posted on: July 15, 2014 - 2:48pm

Skyflower
DoppleMe

I hope it works out :) But he needs to stop getting drunk. Drunk people have nothing to give but pain. They take. 

Posted on: July 15, 2014 - 3:48pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Tinkerbell2, how are you today?

You absolutely deserve to be respected, loved and have safety and security for yourself and your daughter.

It is hard when we love someone to end a relationship, to do it we have to work really hard to love ourselves more.

Posted on: July 15, 2014 - 4:32pm

Immi
DoppleMe

Anna i LOVE that.  Working hard to love ourselves more. 

Posted on: July 16, 2014 - 8:54pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Tongue Out

Posted on: July 17, 2014 - 4:34pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

How are you today, Tinkerbell2?

Posted on: July 19, 2014 - 8:59am

Tinkerbell2
DoppleMe

Thank you for all your responses.  I had a little think and sat down with MR and explained how he made me feel etc. He looked so gobsmacked and upset but I just had to lay it straight. Im going to see how things go over the next few weeks, so far I have noticed a big difference & how he is trying not to slip up but I guess only time will tell 

Posted on: July 22, 2014 - 7:19pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Good for you Tinkerbell2, it sounds as though you spoke your truth and it was heard. As you say only time will tell and sometimes it can be when you take your eye off the ball our partners can get up to their old tricks again.

I hope you are feeling proud of yourself for handling the situation and asking for what you want/need.

We are proud of you. Smile

Posted on: July 23, 2014 - 4:04pm

Tinkerbell2
DoppleMe

Update.    

 

After a long line of events I finally started seeing things clear and ended the relationship for good.

Standing by a guy though all his struggles but getting nothing in return, not even a "how are you?". Him saying hes to tired to meet for 3 weeks but then going drinking with his mates, me going out and him not liking it so sending me abusive messages all night to make sure I have a crap night........well not anymore mate so jog on :)

Posted on: August 24, 2014 - 12:14pm

Skyflower
DoppleMe

Well done Tinkerbell I am so glad you are not taking his abuse any longer, so proud you could make this step, 

(((((big hug))))) as you must need it.   Xx

Posted on: August 24, 2014 - 2:40pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Good for you, Tinkerbell2, look after yourself.

Posted on: August 24, 2014 - 6:50pm