Clayton@chambo
DoppleMe

Hi all I'm just completing a parenting course and 1 of the aspects is to talk on this discussion board about the responsibilities of being a parent, thoughts on main points would be grateful. In my opinion the main thing I want to do for my son is protect him and love him and make him happy! :)

Posted on: May 3, 2013 - 2:58pm
Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi there Clayton@chambo! Welcome to One Space.

There are so many responsibilities that we have as parents aren't there!

I think that you are on the right tracks, but would like to add we are responsible for keeping them warm, watered, sheltered and fed, we also need to provide consistency, stability, acceptance and encourage their individuality and creativity!

Oh I could go on and on!! Have a look at this image of Maslows Hierarchy of Needs, do you think this is a good reflection of what we need to provide for our children to be healthy rounded violence free adults?

Posted on: May 3, 2013 - 5:05pm

Clayton@chambo
DoppleMe

Definitely a great post and thank you for your help! Anything in the way of advice will add to my confidence in providing my son with all I can and more :)

Posted on: May 3, 2013 - 11:49pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I would also like to add that being a good role model is another aspect. I don't mean in terms of "success" but in terms of integrity, hard work, honesty, strength etc Laughing

Posted on: May 4, 2013 - 8:06am

Clayton@chambo
DoppleMe

Thanks Louise great point I always looked up to my dad so hopefully L will do the same:)

Posted on: May 4, 2013 - 12:57pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi C@C, where did you do the parenting course? Are you raising your son on your own?

Posted on: May 7, 2013 - 9:12am

Clayton@chambo
DoppleMe

I am doing the online parenting course and also joining a course here in Bristol for children aged 2 years upwards! Im not raising my son on my own as he is primarily with  his mother and we are no longer together, so it's more to give my son and me a bit of help and tips to be the best dad I can Anna :)

Posted on: May 7, 2013 - 5:03pm

GoodEnoughMum
DoppleMe

Hi

I just wanted to say the fact that you are even asking this question and that you went on a course means you are already a really excellent parent.  

Congratulations on having such a good attitude and best of luck with making the most of your contact time.

Gem

x

Posted on: May 7, 2013 - 7:52pm

Clayton@chambo
DoppleMe

Thanks gem that means a lot:) it's the 1 thing I want to be good at in my life, raise a happy confident son.

Posted on: May 7, 2013 - 9:31pm

ChocolateCherries

Also another thing which ive noticed nobody has written yet...enjoy it Laughing i know you probably do already...also you should feel very proud of yourself for doing the parenting course and for wanting to do everything you can for your son. as you do sometimes get dads that aren't interested...

 

im sure your doing a great job anyway Cool

Posted on: May 12, 2013 - 2:27pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Excellent point!!! Laughing

Posted on: May 12, 2013 - 4:32pm

Clayton@chambo
DoppleMe

Thanks a lot for the encouragement! I do love it :) the only thing my ex partner keeps raising is that sometimes my son will not have his solid food from me but I only get to have 2hr sessions either at swimming or at a soft play centre so it's not much time when I feel as though on the days he isn't hungry I would just leave it an hour till he's built an appetite then try him again? I make plane and train noises to make it more interesting nut on some occasions he's just not interested! He didn't eat his sweet potato and chicken after swimming this Saturday so I gave him his fruit which he ate no problem followed by some organic carrot stick crisps which he also enjoyed, but parter partner said this was wrong to do as my son would think meal time was over from having his desert? When I just thought giving him something rather than nothing especially healthy would be better! Your thoughts please:) thanks

Posted on: May 13, 2013 - 4:36pm

Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

It can be tuff getting kids to eat the right things at the right time, where i can't see much wrong with what you gave your son as it was technically healthy foods i can also see your ex partners point off view too.

It is quite easy for us as parents to do things or make choices on the hop so to speak that can cause us difficulties with our children in the log run. 

It looks like your ex has set up a meal routine with your son by getting him to eat the main meal which will be more filling and not nesscarily what he does like and following it with something sweet that he does like as bit of an incentive.

I think the concern is that your son will expect this to happen all the time him refusing to eat certain foods in favour of those he does like (this is usually the sweeter option) and as she has the main care of your son this can cause issues for her in getting him back into his rountine. 

Kids can be quite manipulative in getting what they want from us, and whilst it is o.k to step out of routines from time to time and let them have the things they like, we also have to maintain the boundaries so that they know what to expect from us and what we expect from them.

 

 

Posted on: May 13, 2013 - 6:27pm

Clayton@chambo
DoppleMe

Thanks for your input Sally I will keep that in mind! I would obviously prefer to wait and try him again with his main meal but usually feed him with 30 mins left in the visit so only on 2 occasions have I give in to him! any other tips on getting him to eat when he doesn't want to would be great!

Posted on: May 13, 2013 - 7:26pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello I was just thinking that this could escalate between the two of you if you let it and it would be good to take the heat out of the situation by talking about it calmly together and working out a plan B eg  you see your son for slightly longer, or you are ok to give healthy snacks or would she prefer him to be offered the main thing and if he won't eat it then you don't feed him? As for disrupting his routine, I do understand what she means but your son will adapt pretty easily, the main drawback that I can see is that he will very quickly associate daddy time with "haha I just eat my pudding". Do try and chat calmly about it with his mum

Posted on: May 14, 2013 - 8:51am

Clayton@chambo
DoppleMe

Thanks Louise, I have mentioned to my partner that I only have 2hrs which is a small time frame and that I would try him later with his main meal if I had more time and hopefully this week I can show this as I am seeing my son from 10am to 2.30 so looking forward to that! And I have offered the choice of going to the zoo so fingers crossed it will be a change of scenery and something he will love! For the time being in the 2hr sessions though my sons mother did say to not feed him and she will try him later so all good! It's hard not to get wrapped round his little finger just with his smiles let alone when he's talking Hah. Thanks again :)

Posted on: May 14, 2013 - 3:43pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Glad that you are able to discuss things, it is so easy for them to escalate between you

Posted on: May 15, 2013 - 7:47am