div id="user-info" class="buttons"> RegisterLog in

Lonely, divorced, orphaned single mum desperate for friends


Hi just wanted to try and put things in a nutshell as it would all be too long otherwise.

I am really desperate. My loneliness and isolation is killing me.  I have 2 daughters aged 9 and 12 who I dont always get on with at the moment.  My mum who was the only person in the world I was close to passed on 6 years ago from cancer.  I went through divorce 4 years ago.  I try to be a nice person but I have never made friends easily and my ex husband and other partner of 3 years were emotionally abusive to me. 

Im just hoping there might be someone out there who is lonely too and would like to meet up and maybe come round my house once a week to give me some company in the evenings, just watch tv. I feel like I would even pay someone to spend an evening with me! I know it sounds lame and pathetic but I really dont have anyone in this world and its a horrible situation to be in.  


Posted on: October 17, 2011 - 9:52am
trying hard

Hi Laurajane36 welcome to onespace its a fab site it has really helped me through my lonely times, im like you no fiends but im lucky to have my mum , sorry to hear of your mum it must be a huge loss. I have three children 14,6and 3 so they keep me busy but its not the same as having a friend is it? Believe me you do not sound pathetic as many people including me agree with you look forward to chatting x

Posted on: October 17, 2011 - 10:30am


Hi laurajane36

I do understand where you're coming from - although my lot are older.

I think life without your Mum and Dad being there is rather 'odd' what ever your age.

I remember walking on the beach with my brother the day after my Mum died, and he said "we're orphans now".  It hadn't occurred to me until that point, and I was 34 and he was 48.

What has brought a lot to me is Scouting.  Although I can't say I've found a new best friend to go out with (my best friend died 4 years ago), it does mean I have adult contact, even if its only once a week - and I look forward to it.

I'm not suggesting for a minute that you get involved in Scouting - honest.  But perhaps watching when your daughters are having activities might give the opportunity to speak to some other adults?

My main company has become One Space, as I know I can ask things and have honest view points.  I can have a really good laugh, and receive hugs - even though they're virtual.

I know there will be more helpful suggestions put forward.


If you click on the above, there may be some things in your area?

Meanwhile, please do keep posting, as it is such a good place to be.



Posted on: October 17, 2011 - 10:38am


Hi laurajane. Welcome along to One Space Smile Sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum. My mum also died 6 years ago, and it's still a massive loss to me. As for the loneliness, I think most of us here can identify with that one too. How about the other mums at the schools? Keep posting as this really is a fantastic group, and though not the same as 'real' friends, its still a great comfort sometimes just to post and know that someone is going to respond.

Posted on: October 17, 2011 - 1:59pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi laurajane36

Parenting alone can be hard and get lonely. It sounds as though you are still struggling with the loss of your mum.

I am wondering if you ever had any counselling or further support with your bereavement? Have a look at the Cruse Bereavement Care website, they have a helpline and also locations around the country where you can get face to face support, you may find this a useful outlet to sort through your emotions.

If we don't feel particularly positive about ourselves and our attributes then it will be hard to meet new people and make new friends. sparklinglime made a great suggestion about hanging out at your daughters activities, then you have something to talk about with other parents. Do your daughters have an outside of school hobby?

Posted on: October 17, 2011 - 3:19pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi laurajane36

Welcome and I hope you feel at home here! What you are experiencing is totally normal; you have had a couple of losses in quick succession (your Mum and your relationship) and you are still left reeling. There are many people who feel just the same as you and even though you think oh I am not very good at making friends, many other people think that too! so you could get a playground full of people too shy to talk to each otherSmile

It's worth thinking about the effect that the two abusive relationships had on you....I mean really thinking long and hard. You could do this on your own or with the help of a counsellor. You could also consider looking at our Life Coaching course online to boost up your confidence

Stay with us, there is loads of support here Laughing

Posted on: October 17, 2011 - 3:53pm

Lucy Parsons

LauraJane, you are not lame or pathetic! You're bringing up two girls on your own, with no family support or even adult company - we're human beings, we all need love and support from our peers, it's one of the basics for good mental health. Personally I think it's a sign of strength that you are reaching out for friendship.
I haven't read what the others have put, but I'm sure you'll get loads of support here, and find out ways of making friends in your local area.

Keep going, good luck,

Posted on: October 17, 2011 - 4:13pm


LauraJane, I know how you feel..I am older, but I don't have any close family, and my separation is now two months down the line. I have a 15 year old daughter( who has her own social life), so I know how lonely you can get...I do have some good friends, but again they all have families, so I can't take up too much of their time as such.

If I lived near you i would love to come round and keep you company, so the next best thing is chatting here at least, and sharing your day to day stories..


Posted on: October 18, 2011 - 12:12pm



I'm alone as well , so i know how you feel.

If you ever want to chat, drop me a line.

Where abouts do you live?

Posted on: October 18, 2011 - 12:35pm


Hi Laurajane

I just want to put my arms around you, so sorry to hear about your lovely Mum.  My youngest child (a boy) is 9 the others are 21 and 19 (my daughter and believe me that is a difficult age!) and although it does get easier with the children in some ways its harder as they always want something or the other don't they.  Do you work - that can help a little with the loneliness but I know how you feel sometimes it is the evenings when you just want some adult company and someone to have a moan to really.  I am new to this site only just found out about it, hope you maybe online sometime when I am and we can have a chat then.  Take care xx

Posted on: October 19, 2011 - 5:43pm


Hi bongobiljulie and CAROLINE 81. Welcome along to One Space. It's a great site, so do stay with us. Look forward to 'chatting' and getting to know you.


Posted on: October 19, 2011 - 8:54pm


I have become a single mother and have never got used to it.  For eleven years!  On my own, with family who do not help, parents are deceased.  Ex has gone to live abroad out of the country and does not contribute, I can only say that I have tried everything,  I have moved countries to try to find happiness and am nearly at the end of my tether.  I would love to make friends with you, to help you find some way of healing this very critical wound.  I will be thinking of you. Take care.

Posted on: October 19, 2011 - 10:17pm