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Living with another SWM on benefits!

bright white unicorn
DoppleMe

Hello!

I am a single working mother on benefits living in Newcastle upon Tyne. My daughter is 17 months old and I am the main carer.

I am a health care professional with a wide variety of interests and strong support nework.

However, my land lady has decided to put the rent up by £100 pcm. Ouch!

After the shock of losing this home and garden I treasure with fantastic neighbours I have, dusted myself off and with a spot of application decided to contact other SWM in my area, posing this question, after some introduction...

We are all too aware of what a strain (and joy) lone parenting can be. In this recession it is hard to hold down a job, maintain a professional life, nursery liaison and fair access arrangements with the father of our children. Financial and living circumstances aside, it can be very hard emotionally. For me this manifests as loneliness in the evenings and very little time to myself, out of the house. Although I do seize it when I get the opportunity, no matter how tired I am or how little money I have spare. Nothing beats a walk in the fresh air or a quick swim.

According to gingerbread a 1/4 of all children are being raised by a lone parent. I know there are plenty of you out there who will identify with where I am at the moment. 

Is anyone out there interested in living with me and my daughter?

I would be happy to draw up a legal document with ground rules to suit us both.

We would need a house with garden, seperate bedrooms and seperate rooms for our children. 

I welcome any thoughts and look forward to hearing from you!

Kind wishes 

 

Posted on: May 23, 2011 - 10:21am
Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi there bright white unicorn, welcome to One Space!

I think sharing with another single parent is a brilliant idea. My daughter is now 16, but I wish that it was something that was more common when she was younger.

Although you are not in London, did you see this article a couple of years ago? Credit Crunch Commune - 3 single parents move in

Have you heard back from any single parents in your area? How did you advertise?

Posted on: May 23, 2011 - 11:16am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello bright white unicorn

How enterprising of you!!! Maybe this is the way ahead for lone parents? I do know a couple of women with one chiold each that did this and it was fine for a couple of years, I guess changes happen if one of you gets into a long term relationship etc, but that is the same with any house-share.

Let us know how you get on!

Posted on: May 23, 2011 - 12:19pm

bright white unicorn
DoppleMe

Hello!

thank you for your positive responses! and the article is great. So far no negative feedback and the list of pros far outweighs the cons. 

I have not formally advertised yet as I am waiting for another SWM pal to decide first. 

Then I guess I will advertise, but how i am not sure. Any thoughts?

 

Posted on: May 24, 2011 - 2:54pm

englishrose
DoppleMe

Are you a member of netmums.com? They have free online advertising boards - also you could try meeting mums at your local "meetups" via netmums.com

Posted on: May 24, 2011 - 7:13pm

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi bright white unicorn, netmums sounds like a good idea, you need to be careful if you were to put something in your local newspaper, you don't want a number of undesirables to contact you!

I hope that your pal, says yes, it would save a lot of extra work!

I think it would be important to lay down some ground rules within the first few days/weeks. I once had a friend live with me for a year and within the first week we had told each other our pet hates (mine - not rising the suds off washing up, hers - leaving the top off washing up liquid as it makes it icky!) It was very good grounding for us to start off on.

Would you consider having house meetings too, with the children involved too? 

Posted on: May 25, 2011 - 11:20am