hi my names hellen and am just in early stages of separation from a man who did not pyshically abuse me but mental abuse me to.some days the only thing that gets me through the day is my son.the phsical wounds heal but inside you still hurt.you believe what drummed into you ,you are worthless and nobody could love you,so hard because i have done everything for our son from day dot,just am so tired of making excuses to my boy for him,he starting to realise things now .am so tired of doing everything on my own,only time he wants to knew our son is when he wants to use him as a weapon against me.can anybody out their tell me when you start to feel better when you leave somebody like this,
Hello nellie77
Welcome to One Space, I am sorry to hear that you feel so bad right now. Well done for getting out of this abusive relationship. Part of the way the abuse "works" is to knock all the confidence out of you so you start to believe that you can't cope on your own. But you can! and we are here to support you.
The number for Women's Aid is 0808 2000 247. Find out what support is available to you.
Please also look at The Freedom Programme section, which will give you lots of in formation not only only the programme itself but also about abusers and the effect they can have. Many, many women (and men) experience abusive relationships and you are not alone
Hi nellie77
Time is the best healer, I believe.
While I never did manage to get onto the Freedom Programme, the visit I had from Women's Aid helped incredibly...
Do contact them, they really can help you.
I've read one of your other posts and see you have.
Somehow I think realising that it's right to feel as you do, and that the fact that what has happened is believed and acknowledged by someone was a huge step for me.
Be strong.
Hiya nellie iv jus replied on th ova post as well. I dnt no if i qualify to giv advice but i left my partner six wks ago n its really hard. Im only jus starting to see him for wat he was n u will too. Ul have days where u feel ok then days where u dnt. Im fine wen i dnt see my ex cos he cant put me down bt th twice that i hav has left me reeling. But i see now summit i didnt see six wks ago n that is its not my fault, n im not worthless n u will too. Talk to friends in depth n be honest. I did n my friends tell me Im beautiful n amazin n strong, th opposites to wat i spent eight yrs hearin from him. U need to get ur self worth bak, n it will take a wile, but it will happen. For al Im struggling, i feel beta in mesel in jus six wks, n th best thing is u dnt even notice it happening. Stick around ppl who love u n care cos its amazin hw much them bein there helps x
Hi kirstybellx thank you for that, I feel sure nothing helps someone escaping from an abusive relationship (man or woman) than hearing some positive news from someone a little further down the line with it. Well done to you!
Hi nellie77 have a read of our article called Life after Abuse. Please know that you are not alone and all these feelings are normal.
Hi Hellen, welcome to one space, I have just replied to your other post.
Are you getting any support from anyone, Womens aid are very good, if you havent done already please give them a call, you will find the number for your local office if you google it.
Mental abuse I am very familiar with and yes I have to say in many respects it isnt as much talked of a physical, probably because people can see a broken arm. black eye etc, what you cant see is inside someone and feel their pain, but please dont think you are alone, lots of us on here really do understand.
It does get easier but it does take time, what I can absolutely 100% tell you right now, you are NOT worthless and you ARE valuable, NOT all men are like your ex and in time you will understand and believe that. There isnt a time limit on this, everyone is different but you will get stronger and you will feel more positive as time goes on. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there.
Please do keep posting, others will be along to welcome and support you if not tonight then they will definitely be here in the morning xxx