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Just when you think things cant get any worse

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Laughing xxx

Posted on: June 22, 2011 - 6:41pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Surprised

Posted on: June 22, 2011 - 7:02pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi everyone, well update is, he had a scan and he says they took 120 pics he was there for 2 hours well longer but the appt was 2 hours long. He says he might hear somethingin 3/4 days although 10 days was mentioned too so not entirely clear on that. The worst thing though is that he has an appt to see the speacialist on my daughters 17th birthday on the 12th July!!!!!!!!!!!

She is unaware of this at the moment and rightly or wrongly I am not going to say anything just yet, I am going to wait and see what happens in the next few days and decide from there, of all the days he could have been given an appt it had to be her birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is my eldest daughters on the 11th July and then the 12th for my daughters 17th so already feeling just a tad stressed, little one is away for 5 days from the 4th July at the school camp.

Its going to be draining xxx

Posted on: June 22, 2011 - 11:20pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hmm yes it is, poor you with all the worry. We will be here for you Smile

I think that is the right decision not to mention 12th July and also you want your son to go off to his camp without a heavy heart.

So what are the birthday plans?

Posted on: June 23, 2011 - 7:57am

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi Louise, yes I think its the right thgs to do for now, it could be that we hear something before then anyway so am waiting to see.

Birthday plans, havent had a min to think about it to be honest, eldest daughter is having a 21st party at her flat on the 2nd July as it was her partners 21st this last week so they have gone for a date inbetween the 2 which seemed a good idea, so have to think about getting there, 2 teen daughters are going along with eldest son but they will all stay over and traval back on the Sun, I will go for a few hours with little one and drive back.

Really not sure about the 12th but will come up with something xxx

Posted on: June 23, 2011 - 11:06am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I know there were all the thoughts about her having more and more spectacular birthdays but it is her 18th next year so you need not to be TOO wow this year, methinksWink and also you have the fuel to pay for in respect of the journey to the party too. Talking of fuel, I was at the garage the other day and someone had a posh car, don't know what sort, but it cost them £80 to fill it Surprised

Posted on: June 23, 2011 - 11:16am

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

My gosh £80!!! How the other half live.

Tiredmum, I think you're right not to mention the date either. In your shoes, I wouldn't. Just play it by ear. My Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer on the day of my Mum's birthday, and my Mum hated celebrating her birthday on that day from then on. xx

Posted on: June 23, 2011 - 1:08pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

xxxSmile

Posted on: June 23, 2011 - 1:17pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I filled my car before going away and that was over £70.  Diesel's gone up since then...

I am thinking of you tiredmum.

Posted on: June 23, 2011 - 1:45pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

The children had a visit from their dad tonight, he really has lost more weight, also seems to be shuffling a little rather than walking, possibly in some pain I`m not sure, I am also a little concerned that he might have had another slight stroke as his speech is definitely slurred again(he doesnt drink), anyway they were happy to see him, he didnt stay long which isnt unusual so it didnt upset anyone.

Posted on: June 24, 2011 - 11:10pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Nice that he came, tiredmum, even though you can detect some changes in him, he is possibly tired out with the jet lag and treatment, which will have added to the general effect. It really is a situation where you can't do very much except offer support to the children, which I know you are doing Smile

Posted on: June 25, 2011 - 7:11am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

That's sad tiredmum.  So hard for you all.

xxxx

Posted on: June 25, 2011 - 9:26am

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

I'm pleased the children saw their Dad tiredmum. Hope you're ok. xx

Posted on: June 25, 2011 - 6:38pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi everyone, well had a call tonight from childrens dad, he had a letter to say he has to go to hospital on Wed at 3.30pm, this has come through very quickly after the scan, so quite worried about it, although I have to also say I am relieved that its not on my daughters birthday, he was saying that he would put off his treatment and isnt going to have the operation just the radiation therapy, I`m not sure he fully understood about the rads so did tell him as much as I knew thats its not a walk in the park and that in my opinion if they want to do the surgery then maybe its because thats the best chance of a good outcome.

I am sure he is very scared right now who wouldnt be, its all very strange that a man who treated me like crap for the best part of 20 years now turns to me for someone to talk to, not sure I am happy being that person but dont see a choice with having the children xxx

Posted on: June 26, 2011 - 11:33pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hmm yes that puts you in a strange position, but yet again something you are doing for your children. Stay strong, we will support you all we can Kiss

Posted on: June 27, 2011 - 8:06am

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi tiredmum. I think you're terrific giving this man the time of day, despite the way he treated you in the past. You're doing it for the children, and it's brilliant. Perhaps he is also feeling guilty too about the way things were between you. I hope everything goes well for him on Wednesday. How are the children feeling?

Posted on: June 27, 2011 - 10:52am

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi hazeleyes, dont think he feels guilty to be honest, he is just scared which isnt nice and I take no pleasure from seeing or hearing him that way.

The children, well my daughter is fully aware of the appt on Wed but doesnt seem to understand that it is potentially very serious, so for a min I am leaving it no point worrying her till we know whats going to happen, my son who as you know is only 10 is going off on his long awaited school trip on Mon 4th so next Mon, with that in mind I am saying very little about his dad in terms of hospital etc, I want him to go off on his holiday as worry free as possible. My other 3 are all very concerned not only about the appt but also about their siblings which is nice that they all rally round each other xxx

Louise thank you xxx

Posted on: June 27, 2011 - 11:31am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Thinking of you all tiredmum.

Posted on: June 27, 2011 - 3:37pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi everyone, well latest update is, it wasnt a letter that came for an appt but was a phone call which to me makes it more serious.

Its little ones sports day tomorrow so I have called his dad and he can just make it before his appt, lucky we only live 5 mins form the hosital he has to attend, he lives a lot further away but its the hospital here that deals with cancer patients xxx

Posted on: June 28, 2011 - 2:27pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Awww, that's really nice of him tiredmum. I know it's his son, but he must be nervous, and he's still going to the sportsday. Your son will love it. I hope the sun shines for it. Keep us updated about your ex. Hope you're ok. xx

Posted on: June 28, 2011 - 2:36pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hope the sports day goes Ok and that your children's dad will know more after his appointment

Posted on: June 28, 2011 - 7:34pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Me too tiredmum.

xxx

Posted on: June 28, 2011 - 7:36pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Thank you, all of you xxxLaughing

Posted on: June 28, 2011 - 9:17pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hope everything went as well as could be today tiredmum. How was son's sportsday? xx

Posted on: June 29, 2011 - 4:36pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi hazeleyes, sports day was great thank you xxxx

My sons dad was very late but did see the last race my son raqced in so that was good.

He went to the appt at the hospital and says that they say all will be fine, now looking at him I would be gobsmacked if this was right but I am just going to wait and see, he has to go back but couldnt remember when, just something doesnt quite add up but if its right then its the best news for the children well and him of course, but I will wait and see what happens, really not convinced at all xxx

Posted on: June 29, 2011 - 7:27pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I'm glad he made it to the sports day though.

xx

Posted on: June 29, 2011 - 7:34pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi everyone

                I couldnt settle so I called their dad and asked him to tell me again what they had said, so he went to see 1st specialist who graded him at 7 , then went last wed for the MRI scan, then got the call to see different specialist today who said that he thinks all is well BUT nothing can be guaranteed till the scan results are back which wil be the 12th July, my daughters 17th birthday.

Now is it me or am I right in thinking that one of the doctors has to be wrong?

I am so tired, cant sleep at all, combination of not switching off and also its very muggy here and has been all week.

I might be escaping on Fri though, cant wait for that to be honest, lazy day ahead though today as my little one is off school as his teacher is on strike so we are going to have a lazy morning, then I have appt with the financial advisor in the afternoon at 2pm xxx

Posted on: June 30, 2011 - 12:52am

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi tiredmum. Hope you managed to settle for a better sleep. To be honest, I don't understand why your ex had the phone call for an appointment yesterday, only to be told that nothihg can be guaranteed until the scan results come back. What I mean is, what was the point of the visit if they themselves don't know? I do hope everything is ok for him. Does your 'nearly' step-daughter go with him?

Hope your son has a lovely day off, xx

Posted on: June 30, 2011 - 5:58am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Enjoy your day with your son! Laughing

I agree it does not seem to add up, although part of the reason he looks so ill may be the worry.

What did you mean about escaping on Friday?

Posted on: June 30, 2011 - 7:08am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hope you have a good day today and manage to chill with all this worry.

xx

Posted on: June 30, 2011 - 9:54am

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi, thank you, glad its not just me thinking ot all doesnt add up xxx

Louise, I mean a few hours out again possibly a posh lunch then a nice walk in the countryside, cant beat that for clearing the mind and relaxing for a little while xxxLaughing

Sparklinglime,thank you its all quiet so far so fingers crossed xxx

Hazeleyes, no she didnt go with him yesterday as she is away for a few days but normally yes she does xxx

Posted on: June 30, 2011 - 11:30am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

That will be something nice to look foward to, tiredmum Smile

Posted on: June 30, 2011 - 11:42am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

That does sound nice. Smile

Posted on: June 30, 2011 - 12:19pm

mamaoftwo
DoppleMe

Hi tiredmum

Just catching up on everything. Sorry to hear things have been so up and down for you all still. What a worry has been put on your shoulders!! I hope you have managed to get some down-time and rest, though I can only imagine how difficult it must be with a 101 things going through your mind.

Glad he made it for a bit of the sportsday. Your son must have been pleased to see him there.

Hey..... it's nearly Friday. Enjoy your escape (it sounds wonderful).You certainly deserve it :)

xx

Posted on: June 30, 2011 - 10:42pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi everyone, sorry this is going to be a bit of a rant, well no more of a moan and a groan really.

Little one went today so missing him like mad, cant talk to him till Fri as they found in previous years that when the children called home they got upset and some had to be collected or brought home before the end of the week.

As some of you already know it is my daughters 21st on Mon and another of my daughters 17th on Tues, well just called my youngest 2`s dad as I had heard from a mutual friend that he had a doctors appt today, found it strange that he hadnt said anything or called me, so anyway, he is going in hospital on Mon for his operation which might be on Mon or more likely Tues, so I am now having to move 2 birthdays to the 10th July which is this coming Sunday!!!!!!!!!

I have no money at all as its not my jobseekers week and all of my money this week is spoken for in phone bill etc and of course others bills and shopping, feel under so much pressure right now to perform a miracle.

Sorry for moaning, I know there are lots of others so much worse off tonight than I am xxx

Posted on: July 4, 2011 - 8:54pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Oh no, that op is going ahead quicker than we thought, isn't it? so the thought that it is serious comes to the fore again...we just thought of 12th as results date.

Could the phone bill wait? Could you phone them and say that you are unable to pay but will pay by date X?

I known this is a really worrying time for you and the children, even if you can't do much for the birthdays and have to be content with the being together then it will still be quality time.

AS for your youngest, I remember they did the same thing when my boys did their Year 6 field trip. My eldest really struggled to be away from me but it was a fantastic experience for him and helped him so much as he approached the greater independence of secondary school. It's just hard for us parents!! Kiss

Posted on: July 5, 2011 - 8:50am

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi tiredmum. You can't give what you haven't got, simpe as that. The girls are old enough to understand, and they appreciate everything you do for them. Like Louise has suggested, perhaps ringing the phone company, and possibly the others too. I have done this on numerous occassions, and have found, as long as you inform them, they are generally okay about things. With the birthdays and the ex's operation looming, it's a stressful time for you as it is. Speak to the girls, and see if between you all, you can come up with something. I can imagine how much you're missing the youngest too. The week will fly by, keep yourself busy (which isn't hard for you to do, hehe). Take care. xx

Posted on: July 5, 2011 - 12:34pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Thinking of you tiredmum - which I know doesn't help...

Could you have a delayed treat orgainaised perhaps?

I know when three of my lot went on summer camp with Scouts, and it was horrid.  Youngest was nuts as he was missing the older three!

Posted on: July 5, 2011 - 12:46pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi everyone, thank you xxx

The phone company wont wait so thats out, but have decided on a buffett for Sunday, it easy and its relatively inexpensive, going to make a list later, gathered some top tips from my friend who has been in catering for years, she is great at knocking up a top looking buffett for so little cost, in fact I will post it to the food section when I get a minute.

The presents will have to wait but both girls are fine with that, was joking with my 16 year old earlier about her never bugging her dad for a present even when he`s well, her answer yes but mum you always manage it somehow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We all got text messages this morning to update on the little ones, they had a great day yesterday, lovely weather etc and all settled well last night so that makes me feel lots better, we will receive one a day till they get home xxx

Posted on: July 5, 2011 - 5:50pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Awww, I'm glad you've had an update, you can relax a bit now, knowing he is safe, sound, and enjoying the experience. Buffet is an excellent idea, everyone loves those. Well done. You're like a rubber ball tiredmum, always bouncing back hehe. Glad you've sorted that out anyway. xxxx

Posted on: July 5, 2011 - 6:06pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Glad they've had a great day.

I'm also glad that you're going to have a buffet.  I've no doubt you'll have a fantastic day!

xxx

Posted on: July 5, 2011 - 6:13pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Can't wait to see your buffet menu!

Posted on: July 5, 2011 - 6:40pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi everyone, thank you xxx

What a day its been, meeting was postponed till Mon which is fine, so we decided to go get the buffet food so off we went to Asda, parked up small trolley, list, my friend the same off we went, what should have been a 30 min shop ended up being almost 3 hours.

We came across a man that was feeling unwell, he wasnt hard to spot as he was clinging to the shelving rack, but to everyone else he might as well have been the invisible man!!!!!!!! Long story but I asked for first aid via a member of staff, they put out a tannoy message, then I asked for a chair as this poor man was going to fall down if he didnt sit down, the brought a step stool which wasnt great as this man was very tall so we sat him down and he was so hot so asked him if he minded us helping him to remove his jacket and bodywarmer, which he was fine with. Still no first aid so asked for another call to be put out, no one came, then a lady approached and explained that she was a nurse and had heard the 2 tannoy messages and was disgusted that no one responded, 9 mins had now passed.

The nurse checked his pulse and we explained that we had established that he had had a stroke 5 years ago, he told the nurse he wasnt on any medication at all, she was horrified at this, we managed to find out that he was instore with his mum so put out a call for her, we at this point also asked for water for this man, his mum arrived in tears, she is an elderly lady and her son is only 37 years old, the water didnt arrive!!!!! It was 35 mins till the first aid arrived, so I sent them for water, I asked why they hadnt responded and the answer was they were in the pharmacy and couldnt just leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The man started to feel a little better and wanted to continue shopping so off he went with his mum, I had asked for a manager and tore stirps off him not only for the time delay but also for the way the first aid spoke over this man and not to him, he assured me he would look into it and I took his name and insisted he took mine as I wanted feedback on what was done, he said not to worry he would have the man and his mum watched on cctv and if a prob occured they would be right there so off we went to continue shopping.

Went to the tills and I had forgotted my stuffing so left my friend to go get it, walked up the aisle to be greeted with the man sat on a stool his mum and the nurse, not one member of staff in sight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To say I lost my temper is an understatement, I got a member of staff to get the man through a quick till without having to queue, it was so busy in there, but they didnt ask if we needed help to actually get to the till, at this point the nurse had to leave as she had work to go to, so it was his mum and I that managed to get him to the till, I gave my friend my money and she sorted out 2 trolleys and paid.

We then had to get from the quick till to the foyer which is approx 100yards, a very very long way when you arent well, not one person offered to help me, his mum had the trolley and my friend had 2 so they couldnt help, anyway we did make it to the foyer and sat the man on a bench, took mum to her car and told her to pull it up to the taxi rank, she did but when we started to walk the man to his mums car it was clear that he wasnt going to be able to walk that far, a lady who was feeding her baby asked if she could help, we asked her to go and ask his mum to pull up to the doors of the store which she did and we managed to get him into the car.

I was so cross, I called head office as soon as I got in, to be told that they dont have to provide first aid at all and that they are not allowed to help members of the public due to health and safety!!!!!!!!! I said health and safety aside where was the care and compassion for another human being!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My friend also called to complain and was treated much better by a man that was horrified at what had happened.

We will await the feedback, if it doesnt arrive I will be calling them!!!!

I am off out tomorrow for the day, definitely need to recharge my batteries, realy cant wait to escape just for a few hours xxx

 

Posted on: July 7, 2011 - 12:34am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Good heavens, that is a dreadful tale. Time was that they would provide chairs as a matter of course in shops (thinking of when I was a child) and as for not helping someone, it was all about liability if you ask me, the blame and claim culture is so prevalent nowadays that if they give the wrong first aid to somebody then maybe they can be held liable? That is no excuse though! I am sure you were very angry and well done to you for making a fuss. Not enough of us do that these days.

It reminds me that my hairdresser was saying a lady was taken unwell when she was doing her hair and so the assistant rushed next door to the chemist shop and asked a first aider to come. We don't have a first aider, they said, and we are not obliged to have one until we have a certain number of employees. What? A pharmacy does not have anyone trained in First Aid? What about the pharmacist then, could they not have given some basic guidelines?

Posted on: July 7, 2011 - 7:46am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

That's shocking.  And sad...

Posted on: July 7, 2011 - 3:50pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi everyone, yes it was shocking and also sad xxx

I always make a fuss where its needed, never been able to just walk by and do nothing.

Party plans are going well, most of the buffet food is now bought, its nothing fancy but as I sadi i will post it in the food thread for everyone, it might help if someone gets stuck for an idea and an affordable one xx

Childrens dad is definitely wanting this to happen and has thanked me for arranging it.

Little one is home tomorrow, I cant wait, we had text today to say they are all having a wonderful time xxx

I have had one of the best days today, I did escape and had a lovely lovely day, came back and oooooooooooooh I am sooooooooooooooo excited a man called me tonight about my mad idea to buy this building and he listened, doesnt think I am mad and wants to help me try to secure the funding, this man is the bees knees when it comes to things like this, he is coming tomorrow at 1.30pm to write a letter to the auctioneers and estate agents to ask them to remove it from auction and sale whilst we try to secure funding, how good is that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cried after he went off the phone, all I have wanted was for someone who knew what they were doing to help me and now here he is, I know its not a done deal by any means but I am so much further forward tonight than I was this morning xxxx

Posted on: July 7, 2011 - 10:16pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hi tiredmum. That call sounded terrific, I really wish you lots of luck for tomorrows visit. Fingers crossed for the funding. Well done on the shopping adventure too. Wow, some people are just so incredible aren't they? It's lucky that you were around I guess, as it sounds like others weren't taking much notice, or were, and didn't want to get involved. Good for you and the few others that offered. xx

Posted on: July 8, 2011 - 4:53am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Glad you had such a good day, a nice escape and then also the possiblity of the funding.......good luck for the meeting today and is your son home too? Smile

Posted on: July 8, 2011 - 9:03am

mamaoftwo
DoppleMe

Hey tiredmum

Wow what a fab day  - hope the meeting went well for you. Can't wait to hear all about it. How exciting :)

What an awful situation you encountered in the supermarket. Something that was so crucial to be dealt with immediately, wasn't. How sad.  Good on you for chasing this up though.

 

xx

 

 

Posted on: July 8, 2011 - 7:04pm

tiredmum
DoppleMe

Hi everyone

                My son arrived home yesterday about 3.30pm, tired but happy and sporting a black eye!!!!!!!!!!! I am not happy as none of the staff bothered to inform me, it was done by a pupil from a different school on Mon, the 1st day they got there so looking at it now I dread to think what it looked like all week, thats me going into school on Mon morning, all that said he had a great time was full of tales of their adventure and was very tired xxx

The party is all set just got to pop and get a cake, going to risk Asda just hope its all quiet!!!!!!!!!!!Smile Still not had a call from them so will chase that up on Mon too xxx

The meeting went so well and I am definitely even more excited now than ever, this man is going to help and if anyone can then it is this man, have to say I was like tigger last night very bouncy and didnt shut up for hours which is actually what I was like when we had the meeting poor man must have been exhausted but it was so important that we got across what we wanted to achieve and we did, he is going to turn us into a company limited by guarantee, write us a good business plan and help us with any funding etc!!!!!!!!!! Still cant believe it, the dream will become a reality now and I cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxx

I have a busy day today, am going to a street party thats raisinh money for a lady who is dying aged just 35, its in the street where I used to live so had a call late last night to see if I could help and if we would like to go, also looking after my friends daughter who is the same age as my son so will take them with me.

Hope you are all ok today and have the best day you can xxx

Posted on: July 9, 2011 - 9:01am