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OH NO!!!! He came round first thing Friday morning to see our daughter my feelings hadn't changed but I didn't show and he spent the day here we discussed things and everything seemed ok. I didn't ask any personal questions and tried not to indulge any thoughts. He put our daughter to bed while I went to my gym classes so when I got back it was just me and him... as you can guess he tried something on told me he wanted me from the minute he walked through the door and hates the fact we can't be together. I told him no, I did kiss him back though and said he was with someone else and I just couldn't but then before I knew it I had slept with him. Then I just felt like we were back where we were before and we slept together again today he stayed over. I know what I've done is the worst thing I could have possibly done not just to myself but to the fact he's got a girlfriend and I feel so ashamed of myself it just felt so easy to slip back to where we were before. I don't think it's all hit me yet how big of a mess it is and how stupid I was I feel like I've really let all my hard work go but i also feel sorry for this girl he's with i know he has no intention of telling her. I can't believe I've gone and done something I said I would never do and sleep with someone that's with someone else 
Hi ELP
Don't beat yourself up; this is something that happens to loads of people. Sometimes it is the two people just slipping back into how they used to be, and sometimes it is one or the other partner trying to "have their cake and eat it". Have a good think about which you think it is, and what you want to do next. It is easy to get into a cycle of this happening again and again. He has a girlfriend now, he was happy to be unfaithful to you and it now seems he is happy to be unfaithful to her. If you are to recover from the hurt this relationship has caused you then you need to set boundaries and keep to them. If it is hard to trust yourself aorund him then make sure you have someone else with you when he visits your daughter. (Just as an aside, if the sex was unprotected then you need to consider getting hold of the morning-after pill; this is available to buy over the counter or through your GP but you need to move quickly)
Don't feel any guilt towards the other woman, HE was the one who was unfaithful to her, not you; you need your strength and energy to decide the way forward. You're not back to square one, this may even help to fix things more squarely in your mind.
Hi ELP, how are you feeling today? Have you heard from him?
Hi I'm okay very confused, he's acting exactly how he was before as if nothing has changed between us like things are everytime he comes back over. I'm trying my best not too but I can feel my mind set slipping back and it feels like he's mine again which means that when he leaves again I'll have to go through all of this over again. I'm really trying not to indulge my thoughts but I can't help it the only reason I think I feel like this is because I'm not sad now about our situation maybe that's because in a way I've had my fix and think I'll have more and I shouldn't. I'm trying to repeat over and over to myself he's not with me anymore and I'm reading my journal to remind myself but there's just something in me that feels like he still wants me he still misses me which makes me feel good and I suppose stops me moving on anymore. I'm a bit stuck 
Do you trust someone who does this?
If he comes back won't he do the same again?
Are you not worth something better?
I know I am worth so much better that's what I keep telling myself. Really need to drum it into myself and just switch off from him and let go and say no to him
Hi ELP, you say you want to "say no" to him, do you mean he is now expecting that you will continue to have sex with him?
I mean that I can feel myself mentally slipping back to how things were and I'm trying to remind myself of what Ive been through and not to forget everything and by saying no to him the next time he may try to kiss me more to myself because I'll just go along with it wanting the closeness to feel like he still wants me not to feel rejected which I know is wrong. He's told me he still loves me and misses me and still wishes we could be together and that's why we both spit up not because it didn't work out but because we can't be together for reasons I can't explain so it is hard when we do see each other. I just feel so confused.
I am not surprised you feel confused! Your feelings can't be turned on and off like a tap.
You do need to have a long think, though. If as you say you "cannot be together" then what is the point of kissing and being close to him if there is no possibility of a future?
It sounds so difficult...
Hi ELP, our emotions are messy things aren't they.
Is there any hope of you being together as you would wish?
Would you consider having a relationship where he comes and goes from the home and his parenting role and also lives the single life? So you both have your independance, but also a relationship?
Well its happened and you can't change that but you can change what you do now