Is it best for the child to have parents around him at the same time? (sometimes)

pink lilly

So, my child has his father coming to visit in our home every week.

I like to leave them to it, as its their time, my childs time to bond with his father etc.

But, i often question to what extent i should play a role too. Is it in my childs best interest, if at times he sees mam and dad, together playing with him, or does this not matter? Should i completely seperate mam with child and dad with child?

thank you,

Posted on: February 7, 2013 - 8:28pm

Louise

Parenting specialist

Hello pink lilly

Well I can't say an absolute 100% answer but on the whole during my years of working with separated parents, my rule of thumb has tended to be yes it is good for a child to see both parents together sometimes as long as A. there is no conflict between the parents and B. the child is totally understanding that mum and dad live in different houses and they are NOT going to live in the same house. The older a child is, the more they will understand and accept this BUT if you have never lived together as a family unit, or at least not in the child's memory then you can do it when the child is younger as living separately is the norm for them. What's hard is when a child is used to living with both parents, then they separate then both parents are there sometimes, leading the child to think that they might get back together. Older children of course can understand this once and for all.

However, as your son's dad only sees him once a week then mayhe that is best to be "daddy time" plus, as we have discussed on here before, his dad will not take responsibility until you are not there to fall back on

Posted on: February 7, 2013 - 9:59pm

Tinkerbell2

I think it's good for a child to see both parents playing- although it may be the fathers time remember that your child does have TWO parents, just because the father is there doesn't mean you must vanish!

im pretty sure your child would love to play with you both and seeing you get along, even if it is just for show.

i have my daughters father visit every two weeks and I also play with my child during this time, I split my time between cleaning or doing things I can't normally do and playing :)

Posted on: February 21, 2013 - 1:46pm