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Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

What wonderful news, maria, and glad to know that your daughter is doing well. I am sure she will really value your suppport right now Laughing

Posted on: April 7, 2011 - 6:10pm

honey120

hello everyone my name is cilla and i have a 12 year old boy who im finding very hard to control.. he is rude, lies about everything. does not want to go go school and has been bunking lessons, gets really agressive when you try and talk to him. and ive taken his fone and his xbox away from him, dont know what else to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted on: April 7, 2011 - 6:20pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi honey120

Welcome to One Space.

Removing privileges is one very good method of dealing with older children, as you have done. There are some more things that might help, try reading this and this.

Unfortunately your son is that the age when it all starts to happen Cry Has the school had an inout about what is going on? you mentioned bunking off lessons, has he been in trouble for this? Is there a Pupil Support Service at the school that could intervene? I wonder if your boy has any contact with his dad; one thing that boys can crave at this age is a positive male role model so if his dad is not around or doe not provide a good role model then it is worth you looking around for others, such as community leaders, other male relatives, teachers and neighbours.

The main "tip" I can give you about dealing with teens is STAY CALM. Once you lose your temper, they have got the upper hand,.

Posted on: April 7, 2011 - 6:32pm

honey120

hi louise thank you for your advice.. really appreciate it. yeah the school are involved in what is happening at home. he does not see his dad that often, and he hardly calls to see how he is doing. he does not have him for weekends or days out.. there is alot of anger within him. and the school are trying to sort out couselling and a male mentor for him.

Posted on: April 7, 2011 - 6:46pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Hi honey120

All I can say is that I had issues with my son when he hit 15.  He was missing school, and I was so shocked when the truant officer knocked at my door.  He was brilliant and was able to get some counselling in place which did help my son.  He valued the fact that he was able to talk to someone, and he knew that it wouldn't get back to me or to his Dad.

I do hope this helps with your son.

Sorry you're going through this though, its just so frustrating when you can't reason with them.

Posted on: April 8, 2011 - 1:04am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Glad that the school seem to be taking postive action, honey120. Maybe if you can do some stuff at home to support that, things could improve with your boy

Posted on: April 8, 2011 - 8:46am

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi maria, congratulations to you and your daughter, I hope you are making the most of the baby being tiny and delicate, remember how quickly it all changes!!

honey120, have you heard of YoungMinds? They are the UK's leading charity to improving the emotional wellbeing and mental health of children and young people and empowering their parents.

You might be interested in contacting them, their number is 0808 802 5544, (9.30 - 4pm) free from landlines and mobiles.

They will be able to give you tips and ideas for handling your son, he is still young enough to bring back into line. Childrens behaviour comes from their feelings and if these are negative, often they have needs that aren't being met. This doesn't mean you are a bad parent, by sounds of things you are doing all that you can, however obviously there is something going on for him and it needs to be got to the bottom of.

You might also be interested in taking up a parenting class - only the best of parents do these! Are you working at the moment?

Posted on: April 8, 2011 - 10:22am