new venture

 

it has been two years sincei was last intimate with my ex, but i have just done it again :(   i know all his movess, the sweet text, extra calls etc, i knew where it was leading, I told him I didnt want it but he continued, and slowly broke me down. 

he caught me at a time when I'm feeling lonely and isolated and now I've had se with him, I see him behaving exactly the way he did before..cocky and arrogant, a !! To the extent where he thinks he can travel up here spend time with his son, put him to bed.... then to me to bed... then go home! which of course isnt going to happen. 

i completed the freedom programme, I could see the cycle taking place and still let it happen.

guess Im feeling angry and let down with myself at allowing him to play with my emotions again.

 

i was also wondering if anyone else has had a similiar experience and how you pick yourself back up and move on again. 

Posted on: March 21, 2014 - 11:43am
sergiozed
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi new venture,

First, these things do happen, quite often! I did, regretted it, made the breakup even messier….but in some way it made me think of why we had broken up in the first place, which had nothing to do with intimacy and all to do with control. I fell into it because I was at a very low ebb, I was lonely, and I was lazy, as I didn’t want a relationship with anyone at the time. But sex with your ex is not a relationship, is it? She just used it to prove yet again that she could make me ‘do’ things.

My suggestion? You already know what’s going on, you know you are not falling for it, you know you don’t want to go back to the arrogance etc….  Have that conversation yet again, first with yourself then with him. If you have gone through the freedom programme, read the book again? What it boils down to is setting that boundary for yourself, the red line that you will not cross. Sometimes it takes more than one go. But it sounds to me as if you know you are getting there…..

Posted on: March 21, 2014 - 12:28pm