Recently separated from partner & have lo & am finding it difficult to sleep at night but easy to sleep in day which cannot do due to daughter being at home. think its stress-related insomnia but don,t want pills to help me as I,m scared I won,t wake for daughter.Any suggestions?
I have to say I go through phases of insomnia. My Mum used to tell me that so long as I was able to rest, I'd be ok.
So now I just lie there and figure at least I'm resting even if I'm not sleeping. I've been awake since about 3.30am - and know I was still awake at 1.15am! I was listening to some music though.
Please try not to stress about not sleeping, and just think of it as a nuisance so perhaps you can at least relax.
I do have the odd granny nap. I may not a granny, but don't feel guilty about snoozing during the day anymore!
Hi Louise
I have trouble getting to sleep & when I eventually do I,m woken by daughter than am too tired to function properly I find myself irritated at doing the simplest of tasks that are necessary.
My daughter generally wakes early in morning than has mid-morning sleep ,she will only sleep in afternoon if in pushchair or car. Family & friends also work during the day so catnapping myself is not an option.
My ex partner looks after l when its convenient for him.
Hi
I do just lay in bed & play on laptop or listen to youtube but there,s only so much to do to keep you occupied & then am just laying there getting myself into a frenzie about sleep! I hate being tired & irratable as much as I try & not let it effect l it does as I can,t function properly.
Hi lauradwn1
I also dont sleep much so do understand how frustrating it can become, I have watched just about every late nigth tv programme you can imagine, possibly that doesnt help really, not too sure.
One thing I have learned is that worrying and thinking about sleep does in itself make sleep difficult. I havent slept properly for years now and I guess I have learned to accept it really.
Hve you tried not using your laptop/tv/music in bed, some people say that complete quiet makes them sleep, others say reading, have to say I tried that but was reading a book a night lol, others say try a lavender pillow as that relaxes you?
If this has just started recently hopefully once your stress levels ease a little then your sleep pattern will return of its own accord, please do try not to worry too much about it.
Hope you get a few hours good sleep tonight xxx
Hi laura. I too can sympathise on the sleeping thing. It is extremely frustrating and like you say, the next day is awful when you're snappy etc. I have resorted to sleeping tablets, I take half of one, and if my son has called me in the night, then I've always heard him. I don't take them every night though. Have you tried reading in bed. This can sometimes help. Listening to something boring in the background, perhaps from the TV or radio? Hope you managed a few hours last night. Take care. xx
Hi again lauradwn1
The voices of experience are giving you some reassurance, which I hope helps.
One thing I must mention is you keep putting your daughter's name in your posts, we tend to just use initials, I have edited it out for you so far.
The first thing that springs to mind is have a rest while she is having her mid-morning sleep.
The second is your "going to bed routine" Just as we have a routine for our little ones (and think about when she first started that, you did things in order eg bath bottle story bed, or whatever suited you) then you need to "educate" your own body to "expect" sleep. It will take a bit of experimenting to learn what suits you best, tiredmum has made some suggestions. I would tend to agree that the laptop might be too stimulating, you need something really boring, I use to put Radio Two on very quietly, so I couldn't really hear the words, it was just a quiet sound.
Did you ever do relaxation classes at your antenatal group? We used to do one where you had to tense each group of muscles in turn and then really relax them. You start with your toes and work upwards.
Is it chattering in your mind that keeps you awake? Keep a pen and paper by the bed and write down worries. Think about the chattering in your head as a separate little creature, eg a little monkey, and visualise it sitting on your shoulder doing the chattering, tell it is is time to be quiet now.
Think of a lovely scene eg countryside, or ocean, imagine being there and what the sky looks like, concentrate on this so much that the chattering can't be heard anymore
Have you thought about taking up something like yoga? You could get a beginners DVD and do it while your daughter was asleep?
All these suggestions are things that have helped my counselling clients over the last few years. The bottom line is that if these things do not help you, you might have to just run with it for a whole and let nature take its course. I had about a year of sleeping about three hours a night and know how exhausting it can be (my youngest was three and I had an older one at school and I was out at work).
As for getting irritable with your daughter, do your best to structure each day with some exercise and fresh air for you both (ask your health visitor about groups, use the finer weather to go to the park or just the shops) and exercise will get rid of some of yourt stress and help promote sleep, even if you think you feel too tired to make the effort it will be worth it.
Good luck with trying these suggestions!
Hello lauradwn1
Welcome. It sounds as if your world has turned upside down, quite literally
I am inclined to agree with you about pills, yes of course because of your daughter but also because this is your body's natural response to what has happened and I do believe it will sort itself out, but this will take a while.
Do you have trouble dropping off or is that you get to sleep ok but then wake up and can't get back to sleep again? I ask because I have different suggestions for each scenario.
In the meantime, on a practical basis, you need to think about how to get an hour or so in the day where you can have a short nap. Does your daughter sleep in the day? Does she got to nursery? Have you any family and friends who could take her for an hour so you can catnap?
You are definitely not alone, there are mmebers on here who can sympathise with you very much. I experiened it for a couple of years after my separation/divorce, I was very anxious and could not settle.
Stay with us and we can support you. What else is going on for you re your ex partner?