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I have now been single for many years and have not had a proper relationship since my daughter was born, i`m simply lonely and decided to try get myself out there but not sure hiow to go about this?
I have looked at the internet sites that are specifically for single parents, I thought I would give one a go and signed up and have had quite a few messages but not really sure what to do next, i`m petrefied of meeting a stranger somewhere and to make things worst, on the site there is a blog saying Paedophiles look for single parents online.
I would be interested to know other peoples experiences with dating sites and if anyone has had success? I`m probably worrying to much but any advice would be greatful.
Nikki :0(
Good luck! I really do hope things work out well, even if it "only" leads to having new friends in your life.
Hi Nikki,
I've been on my own for a very long time and decided a couple of years ago that I felt ready to start dating again as my daughter is a teenager now. I dated a guy last year who I met at college, it didnt work out but it gave me so much confidence that I was able to date again after being single for such a long time. When we stopped dating I did start wandering how on earth I was going to meet someone else as I dont get out much so I've been thinking about internet dating but have all the same fears that you've expressed. I did meet someone online on a forum, not a dating site, when I first met him we went somewhere public and made sure someone knew I was meeting him. That didnt work out so now I'm back to thinking about joining a dating site but I'd prefer to join a paid site as the free ones dont have a good reputation, not saying everyone who uses the free ones are after one thing but I think the ones who pay to join are more likely to want a genuine relationship. Good luck x
Hello claire74
I do agree that people using the paid-for ones are usually more serious about what they want, however this needn't cost a bomb, many of the sites offer a short-term membership option, time enough to search around and make contact with anyone interesting in your area and give them AN email address. I say "an" because another good tip is to create an extra email address, eg on hotmail, just use that for dating, and you can always get rid of it without it affecting your main email if you feel uneasy about your contacts.
Thanks Louise, I hadnt thought of that, a good idea about giving another email address but what about facebook. Its seems the normal thing for people to want to add you as soon as you've met them or if you have a mutual friend. Do you get to know a guy first, like a few weeks or a couple of months before you add them on fb, where they have access to photos and info on family etc, does that make sense or am I being over cautious. Would I not come across as strange if I said to a new guy I would rather get to know him better before adding him on fb x
I don't see why! You could say oh I do have fb but I am taking a break from it for a few weeks, will let you know when I am back on. I don't think it is being over cautious.
Good luck Claire74 - have you taken the plunge and subscribed on a site yet?
I have some limited experience of the paid for sites - a couple of years ago I used one and met some very dodgy characters who did seem to just be after one thing. My advice from that is be cautious and don't reveal too much about yourself before you've met them- I say this because its quite easy to open up in emails etc rather than face to face. I mistakenly confided quite a lot to someone then when I met up with them it was obvious they had lied about an awful lot to me about themselves.
Last year however I joined another site and met my now ex boyfriend. We dated quite seriously for 10 months. Whilst I fell in love with him and thought I was very happy at the end it transpired that there was still a lot about him that I didn't know and he had kept from me - something that seems fairly easy to do when you meet online. I do however agree that it is incredibly difficult to meet people in the normal course of life so I do think internet dating is great and often successful, just be a little bit more cautious than if you had met a friend of a friend for example. I always chose to avoid the purely 'single parent' dating websites and went for the paid for main stream sites where, once you get to a certain age, the majority of people have kids anyway. Even if you don't meet a long term partner I can guarentee you'll have lots of fun evenings scanning the photos, reading the profiles and being very flattered by the number of messages you'll receive - have fun with it!! Keep us posted
Thanks pinkgrapefruit, you've given alot of good advice. I havent signed up to any yet, I keep putting it of, I guess I keep hoping I'll meet someone in my day to day life but chances of that are pretty small. If I do sign up, I'll let you know how it goes x
With regards to Facebook, if you are unsure then I would just say, I don't know you well enough for that at the moment... and if that isn't good enough for them and they get a bit funny about it then that for me would be a warning sign that they weren't for me anyway : )
Start as you mean to go on when it comes to your own space, or anything else for that matter : )
Yes that is a good comment, Bubblegum, it is all about being yourself rather than compromising from the word go.
thanks Bubblegum, thats always a mistake I make, trying to be something that I think they want me to be and its never got me anywhere so from now on, going to be myself, not just dating but all areas of my life
From personal experience I have to say, easier said than done. When you like someone you can't help but try to be what you think they want. Maybe not everyone is like that but I know I have been.
: )
Hi Nikki008
Great to see you here.
Internet dating has a reputation for being more dodgy, a reputation which is unfair in my view because you are no more likely to meet someone dangerous than you are to meet them in a club or a bar. The ideal way to meet someone is through a mutual friend or relation who can "vouch" for them, but that does not often happen.
Of course it is a lot easier to misrepresent oneself on the Internet and even potential dates who say they have children themselves are not always telling the truth...there again you could meet a man in your local town who turns out to be married months down the line....
The message with ANY dating is therefore just to be careful.
Have a look at our articles Internet Dating and Dating Again for lots of handy information.
My own two top tips are: when you meet someone for the first time just do it for coffee, that way you are only stuck for an hour if it is a disaster, and secondly read Are you the One for Me, which is a fantastic book and a great guide to picking a new partner
Good luck and let us know how you get on!