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im so fed up, every morning is the same, my little demanding girl who is 2 half as me up 6am like she does every morning,trashes my room, so fed up, i cum downstairs toys everywhere,pepper everywhere,cereal alover the floor,spending every day alday with a demandin toddler isnt easy and not avin alot sleep all time, i get so fed up, same thing every day, cleaning, cooking , lookin after kids, im 41 and i think is this it, god i cant even meet nice man, i meet thugs, my daughter asnt even slept out once, love a break, no1 to av er, bin 2 half years, really fed up
Can u try treat itself today ?
hot bubble bath when she's in bed ? But yourself a new lip stick lol
do something nice for yourself today
whats your plans for the day?
and my son ad another siezure on the bus last tuesday, was awful, ambulance cu, well hes avin higher dose of medication now, i cant leve him with my little girl for even 5 mins in case he as a siezure, all a worryx
Hello kiera, is your daughter off nursery at the moment? At least you will have a break five days a week when she is there.
As for the "trashing", why do you think she is doing this? Perhaps you need to not let her out of your sight while she is in the house so she can't do this? When she is older she will learn not to do this but just while she is at this age then maybe she needs some serious shadowing. Yes it's hard work but easier than cleaning cereal and pepper from all the over the room. When she goes to do it, you need to tell her NO in a firm voice (not shouting or smacking) and distract her with something, whether that's a toy, a song, a dance or whatever (don't worry how silly this is) I do understand that it is not easy to haul yourself out of bed when you are so exhausted with what has gone on but I reckon it's still easier than dealing with the mess.
not tht easy i do get out bed but not asap cos im tht tired ,i can hear her bangin bout so i no i av to get up, but in the bedroom she runs aroudn, bangs, throws my makeup at my head, i av to get up,
Hi kiera, it isn't easy, but nor is tidying the mess up. When my daughter was your age, I used to put her in front of the TV - I know, a terrible mum! But I was never too great in the morning, so rather than me lose my rag with her, I gave in and stuck a dvd on.
What does she play with quietly? You know when she is totally absorbed in something? Whatever it is get it prepared for the following morning, then as she is going to bed tell her that in the morning she can get up and play with x on your bed, whilst you wake up properly.
Baby gates. I had them all over my house when my lot were small, and the one to the kitchen was always closed.
Brilliant idea sparklinglime of course!
wish ut was tht easy, i av stair gates, she climbs over um,liek she climbs out of er cot,u dont no my daughter,she so unpredictable,she not avin sleep in day now so she worse, when she tired she trerible, she threw er tea alover floor, i got so upset, i cant elp it, day in day out,and plus bein tired, im out most day tomoz thank god, my mum babysitting,.im takin my youngest son for new uniform,then kfc then the pictures, glad to get out x
and anna my little girl wil not sit quietly in front of dvd, she wont , theres agame she gets she sits for bout 5 minson my bed then throws it round my room, she very quick,i cant stop er in time
anyway she now in bed, as she not ad sleep alday, so bath. pjs, milk, watchin tom and jerry then bed, peacex
Hi Kiera
I feel for you. My eldest wouldn't watch TV either at that age. I hated every moment of his toddlerhood. He's only actually become more sensible since being at school. It's hard with a spirited kid - parenting is hard work anyway but a fiesty kid is even harder, especially on your own.
My eldest is worse when tired as with your LO. He's also bad if we do too much or don't do enough. It's a constant battle to keep him occupied without him getting overwhelmed. When he is overstimulated he's never been one for weeping he just gets more crazy!
I don't know if you're into books at all but I found "Toddler Taming" by Dr Christopher Green an absolute Godsend. It helped me be more realistic about my expectations for them and also more understanding of why they behave the way they do.
Didn't make it any easier though! He did have a great trick where you tie a rope to the door to keep your toddler in their room. I tried it myself and it was genius! The guy is just so down to earth but also caring. (I know shutting them in their room doesn't sound caring but read the book and you'll see what I mean.)
It does get better I promise.
Love Gem
x
hi aw thankyou good enuff mum for reply, il order tht book, wil they av it in amazon,shutin them in room, lol il see x
its not tht easy is it hun, hope it does get easier, its constant paddyin, and not avin break is hardx
I think you're right, GEM, it is about expectation. We all hope our children will sleep in till 9am and yet be able to get up at 7 when we need them to, on a nursery morning. We all hope our children will sit angelically, doing a toddler puzzle or watching an educational DVD but it rarely happens. Expect the worst and you won't be far wrong! 
You are an experienced parent, this is your fourth child, what did you do with the other three?
Kiera you have a break today, but whilst I am not saying go to bed at 9pm every night with a cup of Horlicks, try to have some earlyish nights to catch up on your rest and remember this stage WILL NOT LAST though it seems to you at the moment to be going on forever. My youngest was an absolute demon, so I do sympathise. Are you on any medication that is making you feel groggy in the mornings? (some anti depressants can do this so talk to your GP about changing if so)
In the mornings, from what you have told us, you have two choices:
1. Do nothing, and continue as you are, feeling angry and frustrated and clearing up all the mess
2. Get up with her and play with her (that is what she is doing it for, she wants your time and attention
I know which I would choose!
thank you for reply louise, my little girl was in bed at 7pm last nyt as she adnt had sleep in the day time, she slept alnyt til 7am, so really i cant complain, i fell sleep on couch but went to bed at midnyt,i went bed at 10,30 nyt bfore, and my other children wasnt like my 4th one bit,they slept alnyt. plus i worked then so i wasnt with my children alday everyday,plus im older 41,i had more free time with my other children,my situation different now, plujs after wot ive bin thru,im not depressed, never av antidepressents,sum reason my anxiety as cum bk,i had tablets for anxiety but stoped takin um last year, i just cope,
i got up at 7.15am, my eldest son was leavin for his paper round, and no mess was made, we are now watchin timmy time, and my little girl is bein good, im out at 10am with my son for most day buyin uniform, and goin pictures and kfc, so b break thank you for all ur replys
well my daughter bin paddyin and sceamin for last 25 mins,al cos i wont giv er red pen, she threw er truck at the poor dog,bangin doors,ive bin in the house ten minm, she was good as gold for my mum as usual,yes a demon is the right word, im leavin er to it,.
she pulls at er clothes, pulls er hair,sctraches er face,
Could you get a play pen and use it as time out then she gets no attention but can not hurt or destry things ?
My youngest is hardest out of all mine really he is but I am to softy with him cos of his RAS fits, its hard work isn't it
Is your health visitor any good? You could call her depends what she's like lol I'm not lettingone in my door next time she can send someone else but she ant coming through my door
hope she sleeps well for you tonight x
Hi kiera, her behaviour, pulling at her clothes, pulling at her hair and scratching herself sounds like she is feeling very frustrated. Can you distract her when she is like this? With mine I would run to the window and say 'oh my goodness' in an excited tone. This would always stop her in her tracks as she was curious to know what was going on outside!
I am also wondering if you would consider attending a parenting programme where you can pick up some tips and tricks for coping with your youngest's behaviour?
ye she pulls at er clothers and er hair, she goes red in the face, after 40 mins she calmed down but i didnt giv in, she is tired, she av bath soon, pjs and milk then bed, i could attend a parentin programme yesx
Hi Kiera
I know we should ignore the behaviour we don't want but sometimes they can't get themselves out of it if they're very sensitive/spirited and they need us to be with them or stop them.
I have also found distraction very good, but I would add when behaviour is coming from their emotions then distraction is telling them to ignore their emotions when what they need is help dealing with them.
I had this with my eldest and it got much better once he could talk about how he was feeling. Don't get me wrong, we don't have long conversations (!!) but he can name his feelings now which is great.
Before he was able to name his feelings I had to guess. So if he behaved badly I would say "you seem really cross" (or sad or whatever). You have to be a bit of a detective and try and think what is going on in their life.
Sometimes I would add "Do you want a hug?" and depending on the circumstances if he then shouted "no" at me I would sometimes say "I want to give you a hug anyway" and give him one. That's if I could see what was beneath the behaviour.
Certainly sensitive/spirited kids can act out in a completely different way to what you expect. So if they're insecure they go about making you cross instead of looking insecuure they look bolshy! Or with my eldest if he's sad he get cross and sometimes I get distracted from seeing the real problem.
It's really hard though and of course they must be told when behaviour is unacceptable (like hurting animals, hitting and scratching you etc.)
You're doing great - it's really hard but the main thing is to stay calm.
Gem
x
thanks hun yes she wont leave dog alone, she as growled once at er, she pulls er tail, hits er, pulls er fur, i tell er off, i av a staffy, so id otn leav ethem on there own together, x
Hi hun
i did a Webster stratern parenting course at a children's centre near me I think it was 12 weeks its American based
it was good you should do it
it was free and had child care too x
ive cum to realise my little girl is naughty from the time she wakes up to the times she goes to bed, she pushed sons laptop in the floor, my 11 yr old son loses his temper with er, every day is a battle with er, i cant even control er,
Hello kiera, I thought it was really significant that you said she was good for your mum and seems to reserve her worst behaviour for you! That means that she is doing it for a reason. I do think one of the things at this age is to follow their every move, which is totally exhausting, and yes it is harder at 40 than it was at 30, but that is what you have to do.
We need to see parenting as a job on one hand (so we do it properly) and yet at the same time most jobs are only so many hours a day whereas parenthood is 24 hours, except when they are asleep, eek
You had a much better night and morning with her a couple of days ago...did you do anything different then, or was there something keeping her occupied?
Hi Hun
i do feel the same I know I get a break on a friday
airs so hard to ger time for yourself
do u think you will feel any better when she starts nursery?
Hugs