Hi im new to this never ever posted anything on the net so very nervous!!!
Ive recently separated from my partner of 10 yrs we have two children 6 and 3, finding it hard to stop thinking about him although i have been strong for the childrens sake. He didnt sit me down to tell me he was leaving he just packed his bags and went reckons i was nagging him to much. He worked 8 till 4.30 pm (great hours) 4 days a week yet he complained he was tired didnt do anything with the kids it was all left to me cooking washing bedtimes bathtimes reading for school he would either sit there with his head phones on or be in bed by 7pm , is it any wonder i was nagging? I keep asking myself where i went wrong but i only wanted a bit of help. He lives on his own and asks to borrow the car on saturdays when he sees the kids recently the borrowing of the car has increased to friday so i asked him why and now he accuses me of keeping tabs on him. im trying hard to be civil with him but it hurts so much.
thanks for replying it gets very lonely have a wonderful mother who is my rock but no friends so it felt good to have a reply.
i bet you will have loads of replys hopefully some will have been through the some thing as you and can give u some advice,ah thats good you have got your mum,have you got any hobbies where you could meet some new people who like the same things as you? you deserve to have some nice friends who u can rely on i have only been on here 2 days but i am sure you will make some bnew friends on here every body seems really friendly.
Hi trying hard - Congratulations on your first posts!! 
There are going to be lots of new things that you are going to be facing and what a great way to start!!
As elle81 says, things are going to feel awful at the moment and your whole life has just been turned upside down when you least expected it. You have had your solidity ripped from under you with nothing more than - you nagged!
Society often jokes about nagging women, but this is one of my pet hates.
Its talked/joked about as if nagging is just one of the many annoying habits that women have. Very rarely does anyone stop and recognise that women who 'nag' are in a relationship where they are not being listened to. If the other person acknowledges what you are asking and then does something about it, there is no need to keep repeating yourself. Humph! 
It is very early days for you, however you might be interested in our article How to get over a broken heart.
I get the inkling that you have doing everything yourself for a very long time, so him not being around might not have such a devastating impact on your homelife. More your trust and your heart. Now he has left it is for him to be responsible to collect the children and do what he needs without your help. Is the car yours?
about the car id like to say its mine as we have had a car which my mother bought me 6yrs ago unfortunately things started to wrong and we needed a new one. he lived at my house with us since christmas and payed no money for housekeeping except sunday lunch so his pay was his own , he saved the money for the car that has replaced mine so i suppose he has every right to ask for it but he knows i need it for the kids. He has not said its his car or that hes going to take it off us thank god!
Hello trying hard
A big welcome from me too! 
There are lots of practical things that will keep popping up now, are you able to remain where you are living? Have you been claiming Income Support and Housing Benefit?
The emotional journey will be very up and down; glad you have your mum. Of course you want to stay strong for the children but make sure you let out your feelings too, whether here to us, or to your mum.
How have the children been with the separation?
hi trying hard i hope you are keeping your chin up and you and your kids are well.
Hi trying hard. Welcome along from me too I would have nagged too, if thats any consolation 
You're doing really well, it's good that you have your Mum. And now of course you have us too. Take care. Look forward to 'chatting'.
hi elle81
thanks for asking about us, trying not to think about him to much but cant help it its a mixture of hurt and anger at the moment im angry because of the cowardly way he walked out not even a goodbye to the kids i had to explain to them. Anyway im rambling on how are you ?
hi hazeleyes thanks for the welcome , dont know what im doing here i have sent you a message but dont know if you have received it. I like this idea of chatting on the net never done it before so im a bit like a fish out of water. how are you?
Hi trying hard. Am ok thankyou. More importantly how are you and the children? Chatting on the net, especially on One Space, I find is great. Especially as we're all in the same boat, single parents, not neccessarily going through the same things, but it does help to know we're not as alone as we thought eh. Are the children in bed now? My son is sitting at his desk, though I have reminded him it is bedtime!!
hi hazeleyes really dont know what i am doing wrong ths is the third reply have sent you and its not showing up. no kids not in bed yet youngest has just gone two to go its lucky its the school hols or theywould have been in bed a long time ago lol. have you been alone long?
Hi. Not sure what you could be doing wrong, but the messages seem to be getting through ok. Once you've typed, just scroll down, press send and hey presto. (well, that's the theory anyhow, lol)
I've been on my own since day 1 of the pregnancy, so my nearly 9 year old has never had a father figure. He's ok with that though, very down to earth, well balanced etc.
You're right, it's a good job it's Summer hols. Next week, I'll have to crack the whip and start getting him back into a routine. Already it's started, as he has a book to read, so that's been started (just)
hi trying hard hope you are ok ? imnew on here too and like you im finding it hard and i ask myself where and what did i do wrong ? but i answer to that is i didnt go off and have the affair or lied like my ex did . i have been on my own since may and he was coming to see the boys when he wanted and what times he wanted , he would even have his breakfast here or tell me to do his tea and i did cause i couldnt switch off 17 yrs of marriage unlike he seems to have done. at the min though he is on bail and he cant come near me or the kids as he hit me and broke my hand infront of our son i did call the police . they have took it badly and i have got help for them . but i know how you feel at the time you feel like its only you and i felt like i was in a bowl with everyone looking in laughing. its is hard when you dont know where to go for help and support.people say you will get there but its hard to believe but do stay strong look at the kids and that helps they need you likeswise mine do too my ex told us that the boys were not his number one any more his new love was and that killed . as i try to stay strong i want to break up but the kids keep me going im not luckly enough to have alot of family but i do have friends that are helping but i feel that they are sick of me but i have found this site to be good i have only been on here for afew days too but if i can stay strong you can too
Hi trying hard, your messages are coming up, we can see them, I hope that you have figured out what is going on, if you are still having problems, please let us know as hopefully we can explain!
Have a look at these top tips that give a light hearted explanation for when we can recognise when we are Moving On.
Hi shaz 5, you know at the end of all this you can hold your head high, you have done right by your boys and your hands are clean. This is going to be a difficult year, but you are on the right journey to a better future.
I think we have all felt that our friends are sick of us talking about our worries, fears and our exes. But hey, thats what friends are supposed to be for!!
Hopefully, now you have found us, you can share some of the stuff that you feel you are repeating all the time to friends and find something new to talk about with them!
for more light heartedness have a look at the Best thing about being a single parent is...... thread and add your own!
hi trying hard you are more than welcome,i can understand why you would be so angry,i would be 2,men more trouble than they are worth! lol im fine thank u my sons staying at a friends 2 nite be nice 2 have time 4 myself but when hes gone i really miss him lol.
hi anna the problem i am having is that when i write my reply i click on post then it comes up comment field required but when i click on comment nothing happens. some of my messages are showing and some arent so i dont know if people are receiving them. It asks do i want to leave this page i click yes and my message has disappeared, hope im making sense !!!!
hi elle81 sounds like you have a nice quiet nite ahead of you although you do miss them when they are not around, treat yourself to a bottle of wine and some chocs spoil youself!!
hi can some one help me please my avatar has come up but i have created one of me and my son on doppel me but when i put the code in it comes up on this site as invalid,any ideas would be much appreciated.
Hi. Your messages are getting here, but I know last night you were also having trouble. I can only say that I've also had messages about 'do you want to leave this page'. I always click yes, (not sure why). If the message doesn't show, I just go back and re-write. The other problem about sending is a new one on me, but don't worry, I'm sure someone will direct you.
Oh elle, hehe. You've picked the short straw because I'm on line, hehehe. I have no idea. Now i feel absolutely useless, as I can't help you or trying hard. Think I'll go and slouch in the corner
Go back into the profile, at top of this page, then edit I think. From there, I'm stumped.
hi hazeleyes im sorry if i bombarded you with repeated messages last nite because they werent showing up on my replies i assumed you didnt get them how many did i send you?????
Hey trying hard. Whoops, maybe I typed that wrong, but no, you didn't bombard me with repeated messages. I meant they got through, but I knew you were having problems, not only did you tell me, but also I noticed it was taking you a long time. Don't worry, it will all get sorted.
Another thought, when you finish typing, make sure you click on post, that's another reason maybe that you're seeing the message about leaving the page. Hope this makes sense. xx
I feel the same as trying hard. My partner left me at the end of may. This was the fourth time in nearly ten years she has left me. The only real difference was this time she hasn't been able to take all the children. I have two and she has two. Not ideal but hopefully things will get sorted. It was always her wanting to leave and never once did I try to instigate a break up. I think she has problems but never seems to talk to me properly. I feel she's been very hard towards me since she left but I hope in time we can talk and help each other in whatever we can. I know I want to be there for her if she feels she can't be with me. In the meantime i'm finding life tough with tax credits and child benefit problems and also don't like being on my own. I really miss her and my two sons.
Hi bigearl. Hopefully those benefit problems will be sorted soon. Your split is only recent, so you are bound to still miss her, plus your two sons of course. Are you and the children that live with you able to have regular contact with them?
hi bigearl79 it is hard when they are the ones with the problem of not being able to stick around i know that i have sometimes thought of running away but that soon passes quite quickly when i think about the kids and what they will have to go through, its funny how they dont seem to think of other people other than themselves.
hi hazeleyes no you didnt type it wrong im just a clown with computers lol! i think ive got it now fingers crossed. i just wanted to answer everyone and panicked that they thought i was not bothered. its great to be able to sound off or just have a chat x
Just a bit of info on the avatar thing, elle81. Here is a thread about it. If it does not work first time then start all over again. if it still does not work, speak up and I will email you individually.
Re the posting, trying hard, are you using Internet Explorer as your browser? I know that the new version (9) is a bit temperamental. Try downloading Firefox (it is free) and all you do is go onto Google and type firefox in the search bar and you can get onto the right page, then try coming on One Space using Firefox when you have downloaded it
Don't panic, we can't see you hehe. I know what you mean though Have you managed to look around the site? We have a day chat room. Basically it's just like this one. Some of the members use it for every day chat here Once you're more settled with the posting stuff, (sounds like you're doing great by the way) come and join in with us.
hi trying hard how are you and your kids? well i hope,i had a nice nite last nite i pigged out on popcorn and ben and jerrys and watched a dvd,reaaly nice 2 have time by myself,am looking 4ward 2 2nite we always have a takeaway and watch a dvd so that will be nice.
Popcorn last night, takeaway tonight, you are spoiling yourself elle. Good for you.
hi hazel eyes yay ive done it pic of me and my son now,dont think im as bad with computers as i thought! haha hope you are well are you up 2 anything 2day?
certainly am lol we have a takeaway nite every sat just my little treat to myself as i love chinese food and my son sometimes picks a dvd 2 watch i look 4ward 2 my cosey sat nite in.if i dont spoil myself no one will lol
My mouth is watering now elle. I love chinese too. The Duck in pancake rolls, yummy, although that is expensive of course. I've tried the Duck in Iceland, and it's disgusting. Have you sampled it?
Not up to anything today. C is watching TV, and I'm sipping a dark looking coffee. Have finally relented and let C make it for me. He's pretty good with the tea making, but i'll have to work a bit more on the coffees, lol.
i havent tried it and dont think i will now lol we usually have beef and mushroom curry chicken fried rice and chips yum! and sometimes extras if i am pushing the boat out lol ah least he makes if for u my son just moans wen i ask him lol and wen he has made me a cuppa its very anemic looking i like it weak but not that weak lol
hi elle81 glad you had a nice night like you said if you dont spoil youself no one else will, im waiting for my ex to pick up the kids so il have 2hrs of wonderful cleaning to do lol! cant seem to get much done when they are at home by the time i have done one room they have trashed another.
Elle, I'm sure my son will moan once he gets fed up with the idea of doing 'grown up' things, lol. For now, I don't care what it looks like, I'm enjoying being spoilt!!! I have given him more responsibility during this holiday. He now walks to the shop around the corner, entirely on his own, and gets the neighbours paper. He's getting paid too, which is another bonus for him! I've let him go a bit further on his bike, not too far, just to the corner, out of sight, but within yelling distance hehe. He seems to have grown up all of a sudden, and I don't like it
Went completely off the subject there didn't I. Sorry!!
Hi trying hard, I hope you manage to get some time to yourself, other than cleaning. Are they excited when they see their Dad? Hope they have a good time.
hi trying hard, lol thats kids for ya! i clean my sons room and days later its a mess again dont know why i bother lol,oh the joys of cleaning ive got that 2 do wen i get home from the library i put my music on dance and sing as i am doing it just makes it a bit more bearable lol and crack on with it even tho i hate doing it i love it wen its done.
hi hazeleyes yes they do get excited they only see him on saturdays and then he only takes them for 2hrs which i feel wouldnt be enough for me if i were him but there we are. I think i go numb when i see him try and not show how much it hurts im afraid to have chit chat with him as he accuses me of keeping tabs on him so i keep my mouth firmly shut now!
i know at u mean hazel eyes it makes you feel like your babys growing up i think its good u have given him a bit of responsibility,bet he enjoys doing it 2?,i would wrap my son in cotton wool if i could and never let him go anywhere lol,wen he was at his friends last nite it made me feel like oh my god this is how its going 2 feel wen he leaves home and i didnt like it! thats fine i dont mind if you go off the subject i can speak about most things lol
Tiredmum, that is probably the best thing to do. Just stick to chatting about the children. I do hope it gets easier for you.
Before the holidays, my son decided to 'keep' his bedroom tidy. He wasn't really a messy child, but did tend to not put things back, as we would anyway. He has been brilliant, his room is spotless. What comes out goes back. I can now quite happily say the flat is tidy, which makes my job of dusting and hoovering sooooo much easier! Louise also loves putting music on to do her chores
my time on the computer at the library has come 2 an end just going home now 2 get the cleaning done then dye my hair as i have bad roots lol hope everyone has a good day bye 4 now
my time on the computer at the library has come 2 an end just going home now 2 get the cleaning done then dye my hair as i have bad roots lol hope everyone has a good day bye 4 now
Bye elle, enjoy your day and evening. Take care. xx
...and I am going to find something good on You Tube to inspire me to shift some of this dust (not the shake and vac, lol)
Hehe. Am now humming the tune for shake and vac. Got to get that out of my mind!!!
Trying hard, I do apologise, I wrote tiredmum's name instead of yours, a few posts up. Sorry, must have been a blonde moment!!!
thanx hazel eyes i did managed 2 get a bit of cleaning done dye my hair and then in the evening we had a takeaway and watched a dvd so that was nice,how are you and c 2day? its sometimes hard 2 keep track of what page ive been talking 2 people on lol
Hi all, the site has been down, but we're back!
elle81, i love your avatar, I hope that your problems with posting have now all cleared up, it seems you have got the hang of it!
trying hard, I hope that the children had a good 2 hours with their dad and you managed a bit of 'you' time, even if it was cleaning!
hazeleyes, our children go through phases, as much as C may appear grown up I am sure that he will revert a little, to get you back to wishing that he would take on more responsibility, he is still your baby and always will be! What a wonderful child who keeps their room tidy!
hi trying hard, i am really sorry to hear you are going through a hard time,and ofcourse you are still thinking about him its only natural and its still new and really raw,i think you have done more than be civil you are a better person than i am i would if told him 2 p** off lol,and you were well within your rights 2 want a bit of help its not a one way thing,i hope thing get better 4 u and i know it sounds like a cliche but as time goes on things will get easier and you have got your 2 lovely children 2 help carry you through the hard times.i promise it will get better