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hi well i keep unpluging the house fone and plugging it bk in so dont no exactly when he rings, soliciter advise me to unplug fone for good but i explained sumtimes i av to make fone calls as only av txts on mobile,everytime i plug fone bk in ex rings, he rang twice this morning,off his mobile number as well,and soliciter stil asnt sent warning letter to his adress as dont av adress,she cant get in touch wiv officer,she as left 2 voicemails, plice wont giv me his adress due to data protection,so letter asnt even bin sent,
Oh how frustrating for you. He really doesn't rest does he.
Hopefully that letter will go out during the week sometime.
So what are your plans for the next couple of days?
hi yeah thinkin bout it ex as rang constantly 5 weeks, bad tht init,it is frustrating,tuk dog out for long walk, bk home now, mi little girl avin a kip in cot,im avin nyt out this saturday, my mates birthday, avnt bin out since feb,ope ex doesnt follow me, stil b lukin over my shoulder when im out
Hi kiera, I bet that walk did you good, sometimes it is really nice to get out for a long walk. What kind of dog did you say you had?
I remember those nights out when you think that your ex is lurking around every corner, however this then controls your night and means that he is still the one in control. So how about having the plan in your head that if he is in the pub/club that you go to, you will discreetly tell your friends and go somewhere else.
If he catches you off guard, remember you will be in a busy place so there is little he can do, if you feel uncomfortable tell the bouncer.
If he behaves in any way out of order, (other than showing up!) use your previous trick and go to the loo and call the police.
If he wants to engage you in conversation, you can say I am not talking with you, I am out with my girls and walk away.
Having said all this though, does he know your friend that you are going out with? In the past, has he known you are going out and with whom (therefore easier to follow you)? If not, it is unlikely that you will bump into each other, so I hope that you have a really good night and let your hair down, I think it will do you so much good - oh and don't get home feeling tipsy and text him!! 
(We've all been there and that is a BIG mistake!!)
I hope your little girl had a good snooze and you have a pleasant evening ahead 
hi im weakening, i am, he rang quite few times yest, then he rang late last nyt and left 2 messages, and he ringin stil off his mobile number not witheld like he normaly does, he sent message sayin how much he missed us all and his new job goin well and pls spk to him,then he said if its comitment i want he will cum myn now an propose to me, god i wanted comitment months ago, joke, then 5 min later he sent anova message saying hes ad enuf its ridiculous how im being and hes cuming down either way, then he went on bout police and crocodile tears i cried when i rang um last week when he turned up,hes aid ryt im cuming down i want this sorted, and my dawter is myn just as much as shes urs bye, i got all upset agin and thinkin i cant do this anymore,
Hi keira, I was off yesterday so just been catching up on your news. So....you had some more calls, on one hand he was talking about commitment and then five minutes later he leaves a cross message saying he has had enough.......so his romantic committed self lasted a WHOLE FIVE MINUTES. Commitment means long term, and it means not letting someone down, and he has let you down time and time again and shown you that commitment is one thing he very definitely does NOT have!
I was wondering about getting your landline number changed? I know you need the phone in but you could give the new number to people like wave and the solicitor. If you explain to your phone provider it might even be free!
What are you doing today?
Is he still sending texts? I had a separate mobile for my ex, as I have said before. It does do away with that upset if you change your mobile number.
When I was having nuisance calls, I had number changed for free. Hassle letting people know, but then you can choose who to tell.
It seems getting these phone number changed, especially when you are feeling so much stronger and doing so well, can only strengthen you further and remove one heck of a lot of upset from your life.
hi he didnt no last tym where we was goin, he actually followed car i was in, and walked towards me when i was outside the bar smirking he was, he as ranf twice, i feel sic,heart pounding, i feel like crying agian
yeah i did txt him ages ago when i ad a drink ur ryt, i wont b doin tht, no chancex
it isnt txts, i av a new number wot he doesnt av,. its house fone and voice messages he isa leaving, i ad new house number tym ago wiv sky, tuk 5 weeks change it, and then i ad to giv um crime ref number, and i rang him ages ago and forgot to put 141 in front,x
yeah exactly 1 min he sayin he propose then 5 min late he ad enuf, wish he wud leave me alone, why doesnt he get fed up and leave me alone,
Ah...
If he's following you, phone the police.
he parks ryt down road so i dont no he there u c, thts wot he did last week when he turned up, getin to much for me now, want him to leave me alone,
You are doing so well, I know you don't think you are but you have got stronger and more confident in the last few weeks So your landline is with Sky?
Click here to see some information from Sky about nuisance calls.
Are you going to phone the solicitor tomorrow about the letter?
well soliciter left a message saying she left 2 voice message wiv domestic officer,so il ring tomz,cos want letter sent out this week, il click on sky, i pay enuf every month they can change it agin for me, my ouse fone unplugged, x
hi well rang sky and got witheld blocked on my ouse fone,cost 4 quid,as ex rings off with eld all time, so its start,he prob start ringin off his mobile numbers tho, wot thenxx
I guess the next move is for the solicitor's letter to be sent.
ive rang soliciter ,she asnt rang bk, sic waitin, gona try agianx
just rang soliciter she in court today and tomoz mornin, gona ring tomoz afternoonx
hi im shaking and really upset, ex turned up bangin on windows and door and shoutin thru letterbox, shouting he gona keep cumin dow, i rang police, he drove off, i cant take anymore, police didnt understand, ex angry as well ,i dont no wot he gona do, police spoke to him on fone and he asked to speak to me,of course they said no, they said if he cums down again theyn go looking for him, ive blocked witheld but wots point, he ringin off his mobile number now and left rantin message,he is wearin me down, keep cryin feel like im prisoner in my own home
Ring Sky, and get his mobile number blocked. This they can do immediately
point is im scared and cant tajke anymore,im shakin, my daughter upset,i fel like prisoner in my own home, no1 understands, police dont, im scared he gona turn up when i leave house then wot, who nos wot he wil do, he waas angry when he turned up
Perhaps you seriously need to re-think about the refuge if you can't take anymore.
way he was bangin on window and lukin thru my window , jumped out my skin, why hell wont he leave me alone, keep cryin, so upset, ad this for weeks now
This is from sky.
Choose to Refuse'
If the number calling you is known, this product gives you the ability to bar up to 10 incoming calls. If you don't know the number, the last incoming call can be barred.
all police kept sayin was ignore him, well thts wot i av bin doin for 5 bloody weeks,luk where it as got me, nervous wreck
police actualy to mi ex and said why dont u cum bk and we ear ur side of the story, mean last thing i wanted was ex cumin bk, poice sayin just ignore him, then sayin to me wel ul av to ask ex for adress then i cudnt believe it,like im gona ask ex for adress when i dont want spk to him as ive bin blankin him for 5 weeks,they wernt understandin at all, feel no1 understands , do u no how scared i was when ex bangin on m ywindow and luking thru and shoutin thru letterbox tht hes gona cum bk and bk ,my 14 year old son heard everythin,bk to not wantin to leav my house, and doubt il b out on my nyt out now, b to on edge, hate him really do
Sorry kiera, I thought the solicitor had sent your ex a letter this week. How did she get the address then? Might have missed a post on that one, not sure. Did you tell the police about the solicitor etc, plus of course they came out last week, so that should all be on file.
In one sense the police are right...continuing to ignore him is a good policy.
However, it is dreadful that you should be frightened to this extent. You need to ring the police each and every time he comes round and tell them the threats he is making to you, and also say that he is violent and they need to stop him before serious assault happens.
Get some extra advice from Women's Aid as well, keira, phone them on 0808 2000 247 and let us know what they say
hi i no wot ur sayin, but when copper said just ignore him, wiv all stress ive ad i thought thts wot i av bin doin for last 5 weeks,im ringin soliciter this afternoon, she in court this morning,wonderin cud she now sort a non molestation order as him turnin up yesterday angry, surly im entitled to tht, the copper said he wil fil form in on my behalf to domestic violence and c if they can elp me wiv non molestation order, they said the soliciter shudnt refuse me non mol mol estation order,i tried for ages to ring womans aid yest, iwas so upset gona try again todayx
hi rang womans aid , lady answered 1st tym, i cried so much on fone, she was nice, she understood, giv me number for nation centre, man the man explained tht i do av to av threats of serious violence to get non mol order,and soliciter sendinb warnin letter b gud thing then if he breaches tht the judge will no he ad serious warnin and grant non mol order, gota ring soliciter later ,i cant cari on like this, and woman at womans aid said bout me goin to a refuge, last resort i said,
Glad you have been talking to Women's Aid, that is good information you have been given. It does sound, however, that everyone is trying to say everyone else "should be doing things", aren't they?
You're right though, you can't go on like this. Good luck with ringing the solicitor this afternoon
hi well soliciter sent letter off to ex, so c wot appens,
Glad solicitor has sent the letter. I'm confused though kiera, how does she know his whereabouts?
police av told er adress
Okay, so if the police have given solicitor his address, why did they tell you to ask your ex for his address on the 6th June? That's what you said in your post. Sorry, if I'm getting things back to front here, I'm confused, so hope I'm not confusing you hehe.
exactly police said ask him but im not gona ask ex am i, as im meant to be avin no contact wiv him, wot daft thing to say really, i dont want him near me so im not gona ask him for adress ami, plus he wudnt giv me adress anywayxim confused as wwell lol
thanks for ur reply louisex
Oh okay. I was thinking the police wanted his address on the 6th, so they could go and caution him or something, for turning up at your door. Now I've got it
Did you ring and sky again, and block his mobile number. You're allowed up to 10 blocks.
PHEW that was the thing that needed to happen next, wasn't it, the letter being sent. He will be frightened of the courts but he won't let you know that...his next move may be to say he will take YOU to court. Don't be scared by this; he would be on a hiding to nothing...but it would suit him to try and worry you about court or saying you are a bad mum. Hold your head high, you know that is not true.
How are you this morning?
soliciter sent me copy of the warnin letter basically sayin in no uncertain terms is he to contact me, and harassing behaviour is un acceptable,she mention him turnin up bangin on my windows etc, i no wot he wil say tht he didnt bang at all he knocked, but he disnt my 14 year old son heard him, all street must of heard him, so c wot appens, and soliciter said if he wants acess to his dawter then he can contact a soliciter, im bit on edge now , he aint gona b happy i no thtx
Dearest kiera, I have been off sick for a couple of days and now I am back and reading through your posts.
So he came back to the house, you must have felt terrified, people don't understand how ridiculously scary that is, unless they have experienced it and I have. I really feel for you, I am furious that the police are not giving you the support that you deserve.
Have Victim Support been back in touch? Have the Domestic Violence Unit for the Police been in touch? Are Wave still supporting you? What are they saying?
I think you have done a fantastic job of ignoring him - 5 weeks - blimey - however much you might not believe me, you are a strong woman. Once you put your mind to something, there is no shifting you and HE has shown his true colours.
I am glad that the solicitor has managed to get the letter off and included the banging of the windows - your ex is going to have to play it carefully as he is now aware that you are prepared to call the police and get legal support too.
I am wondering if you know anyone in your street? When my ex came to my mums and smashed her windows trying to get in, one of her neighbours called the police and eventually they stood up in court to testify. She was an old lady, but she wasn't scared, she was infuriated - I had never met her before. I am wondering if there is anyone who you could say to 'I am having a bit of bother with my ex, if you see anyone shouting outside my house, please call 999'
What do you think?
hi victum support avnt bin in touch, dom violence unit avnt bin in touch,ive rang wave and womans aid, they suggested a refuge, why shud i, i was terrified when ex cum, he was shoutin im gona keep cuming bk, he reversed down my street like maniac,ive got a nyt out tomoz, bin planned for weeks, i wasnt goin to go, but why shuid he stop me, hes prob doin god nos wot, i stay in all tym, avnt bin out for months,i cried and cried yest and when ex cum just so fed up wiv it all, god ive ended it and luk at shit i av deal wiv, not ryt, he new my kids in house yet he bangin away, no respect,
hi my ex just left a message ,in a soft upset tone,basicaly saying tht copper said to him leave me alone for a couple of days and contact me then, i totally forgot copper did say tht to him on fone, i mean wot a thing to say, im avin no contact and copper sayin tht to him, gives ex green bloody light to contact me and he as,i give up
Good heavens I am really shocked about that. Anyway he will be getting the solicitor's letter which makes things clearer. Maybe the Wave people could give you some help in dealing with the police not taking serious enough action...could you ring Wave again?
hi rang wave yest and ad gud chat wiv er, i softened bit when ex left tht nice message, he sounded dead down and upset basicly beggin for me to contact him,but he wasnt tht upset wed when he was banging on my window and door,he prob leave nasty messagwe in few days,im goin out tonyt, 1st nyt out in months, b bit on edge but sic staying in cos of way he makes ne feel,
I was wondering if wave could liaise with the police? to impress upon them how serious this is,
Great that you are having a night out and yes you are right, he can sound all sad and getting you to feel sorry for him and then five minutes later is shouting and threatening you...it is like the other day when he left two messages,one saying he wanted to marry you and five minutes later saying he is sick of it all.
Go for it, keira and enjoy your night out
aw i av messed up[ wot shall i do, i txt my ex drunk in early hours, he turned at waitin for me to get out taxi at 4am, he said ur drunk shud i ring police for a change so i talked to hin for 5 min, and of course he got my mobile number,i only txt him twice, wot a stupid idiot i am of course he xtin non stopp, itxt i shudnt of txt u, and i amj neva eva getin bk wiv u, dont want u nedar me or my family and il ring police everytym u cum near me, ive tuk sim out, so feel bk to square 1, he didnt mention warnin letter, tht letter prob means nothin now, i feel sic think wot shall i do,why hell did i txt him i did av mint nyt, he said u bin gallavanting out i c, i said as nothin to do wiv u,wot shall i do, advice needed
Aw, Kiera, I was just talking with some friends the other day that there should be a breath-tester built into all mobiles and computers that prevents us from doing stuff like that!
Don't beat yourself up about it, we've all done silly stuff. It does NOT give him the right to go right back to abusive behaviour. It's not like you've changed your mind about him. Hang in there, you are doing really great overall.
Keep ignoring him again, don't text him back, change sim card again (tesco ones are sooo cheap). Take his number off your phone, so your next night out you won't even be able to text him.
Hugs to you, and don't be too hard on yourself x
Hi kiera, are you writing down every time he rings? If not please do, this will be really useful. I would also contact the police again and ask them what to do, he has been ringing consistently for nearly 5 weeks and it is not ok for the children to be living in the house with this type of harrassment.