Hi folks

I have only just discovered this website after more than 4 years as a single parent. My son is now 9, we live in the Scottish Borders. I am finding life a bit of a struggle at the moment and would love to meet some other single parents. Sometimes I have no idea if I am doing a good enough job as a parent and who on earth do you ask?

I used to live in Edinburgh where there seemed to be more single parents.

Would be great to meet some more single parents xx


Posted on: April 25, 2014 - 8:19pm
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello jojoborders and welcome along

It can seem in a larger city as if there are more single parents and that's because there is more of everything, and more chance of groups and social activities that include people similar to yourself, whatever your situation might be. I'd like to encourage you to extend your social circle in general, not just with other single parents. If we don't have family nearby, for example, then it's a good idea to think about building a "family" around us, that might include people of all ages and as a mum with a son it might be really helpful to think about good male role models for him.

So think if there are opportunities within the community to meet people (for example the local church, parents of your son's friends, social events etc. You might also look at this website MeetUps so see what's on for single adults in your area. Finally,have a read of our Making New Friends article.

What sort of things do you like doing in your spare time?

Posted on: April 26, 2014 - 7:32am


I expect you are doing a much, much better job of being a parent than you think you are : )


Posted on: April 26, 2014 - 11:20pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

That's true, Bubblegum, a child needs love, warmth and consistency and this can come from one parent just as well as two Laughing

Jojoborders, do let us know what you feel you're struggling with and maybe we can help?

Posted on: April 27, 2014 - 7:33am


Hi again and thanks for your responses, I really appreciate it.

I think what I struggle with most is knowing what is 'normal behaviour and what isn't. I worry that I will damage my son if I lose my temper and he ends up crying for example, I end up wishing I could have been more laid back and or handled things better! I guess there is no one else there just to diffuse the tension, or to tell me to take 5 mins (or to tell my son to!), or to lighten things up if I am taking things too seriously. I myself come from a very dysfunctional family so it is hard to know what is within the spectrum of normality. My son is gorgeous ofcourse but sometimes (aged 9!) he acts like a sulky stroppy teenager!

jo xx


Posted on: April 27, 2014 - 10:05pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi jojoborders and welcome from me too Smile

What is 'normal behaviour' is a good question and I am not sure there is a simple and straightforward answer.

Losing our temper with our children is not unknown or rare! For myself I found that I hated doing it so much that I knew I needed to change something. I was losing the plot, looking back it was because I felt I had no control over what was going on in my life, but my daughter was bearing the brunt.

I went to parenting classes to learn new techniques, I read ways of taking control back of my life and becoming more settled and content.

We have an article Parenting Programmes that has a link to a list of parenting classes at the bottom of it. 

The book I read was How to Heal your Life by Louise Hay, here are some of her quotes.

I also went and got some counselling. All of these things put together really helped me lighten my load, see the world from a different aspect and actually completely changed mine and my daughters life.

Parenting alone is hard, there aren't two of us, but we must take control of the situation as it is OUR family and always will be, we need to do the ground work.

Are you working at the moment?

Posted on: April 28, 2014 - 9:50am

shaz 5

hi just want a quick word here i found myself to be single nearly 3 years ago and found this site through a book i was given and i am very pleased that i did and this site has helped me through my darkest days and there were loads lol but the words and advice given to me as got me where i am today so a huge THANKYOU for being there when needed x

Posted on: May 1, 2014 - 7:45am

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Thanks shaz 5, you have been through such a journey and it has been an honour to be alongside you. High five!! Wink

Posted on: May 1, 2014 - 4:43pm

Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi jojoborders, have you made any headway with the situation with your son?

Posted on: June 12, 2014 - 2:50pm