Just found this site, thought i should introduce myself.
i'm 25 weeks pregnant with my first child, i'm 21 years old and will be a single parent from the start as there are 2 possible fathers and neither wants to be with me or there for a child. before i was pregnant i was pretty off the rails with drugs, failing university ect.. and since have turned my life around in many ways including quitting all addictions and re-building family relationships that had broken down as a result. however i suffer depression, ocd and social anxiety which has been particulary bad throughout this pregnancy, this was very unplanned and i am terrified of being a mother, especially doing it on my own. i'm so scared i will not be able to cope, i feel immature and isolated, my friends are all out partying while i'm stuck at home depressed and anxious the majority of the time, i feel i have lost my freedom and youth in becoming a parent and the situation with the fathers is very stressful and upsetting, i am ashamed of myself and already feel as though i am letting my child down down before they are are even born. Everyday is so hard and the child has not even arrived yet but i fear i will feel even worse when they do and my mental health will impact negatively on them, i love my unborn child so much but i'm so scared of failing and fear i will be forever alone as no man will ever love me or them and the emotional impact of having no father is another fear i have for my baby. i'm seeking help for the mental health issues, but as i refuse medication, its very slow improvements if any at all. another thing is that i am deeply in love with one of the possibly farthers and the heartbreak i am feeling just makes everything seem 100 times worse.
sorry this is all so sad and feeling sorry for myself i hate to be so miserable but its how i feel, if anyone has made light of a similar situation and has any advice it would be very much appreciated, hope you are all well and look forward to hopefully making some new friends and getting some hope and inspiration from you,
thanks for taking the time to read this pathetic story!
emmy
Hi emmyk.
Good to see you here.
Hello emmyk and welcome along!
Thanks for sharing and I would like to give you a massive HIGH FIVE for so many things: for beating the addiction, for rebuilding your family relationships and most of all for being brave enough to seek help.
One of the hardest things about the situation is your feelings for one of the potential fathers and I imagine that must be very challenging. Also not knowing who is the dad is difficult for you, I do sympathise. Are there any plans for a DNA test etc? I think they are pretty expensive.
However don't worry about the baby not having a fulltime dad as all he/she will need is one good-enough parent (you) There will be loads of support afterwards from the Health Visitor and your local Children's Centre. I know it seems tough when all your friends are partying (and it IS tough) but you will also make new friends with small babies and children and support each other. The main thing is to look after yourself physically right now and to continue to go through the process of getting help with your depression etc.
Tell us a bit about the family support you might have after the baby is born? Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl?