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Laughing HI I am paula, I am 43 and 363 days old, I have 2 boys aged 10 and 12 and 4 years ago I split up with my husband and partner of 23 years, but only got my divorce in june 2011 and I am now making a new life in our own new home from september 2011, Its so hard as he did everything for us and I aint even paid a bill in my life ......so here goes.


Posted on: October 8, 2011 - 8:07pm

Hi paula1967  Welcome along to One Space. It's a terrific site, and everyone here is lovely and so supportive. How are you settling into your new home? Are the boys still in regular contact with their Dad? I won't bombard you with questions, but I do hope you and the boys are doing ok. Look forward to 'chatting'.

Posted on: October 8, 2011 - 9:23pm


Hi Paula

Good luck in your new home.  I hope you'll be really happy there.

I have to say that I set up direct debits with more or less everything, as my ex controlled the finances.  I'm sort of ok with a budget though...

Posted on: October 8, 2011 - 11:23pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Paula1967

Welcome to One Space. Are you looking forward to your birthday? Smile

As for the money, I have found the easiest way is to get an exercise book and at the beginning of the month I write down what money I have coming in, then I deduct everything I know has to come out (the direct debits for electric etc) then divide the rest by four and that's what I have every week for food and day to day expenses. If you can manage it, it's a good idea to have a little "emergency" fund as well, of course this is really hard on Income Support or Job Seekers Allowance, even if you put £1 a week into a piggy bank, by the end of the year you will have £50.

We also have a budget calculator on this site, see it here

Look forward to getting to know you!

Posted on: October 9, 2011 - 8:24am



Hi Paula,

My story is a little similar to yours..I'm 47 and was with mine 21 years...I'm only at week seven of my split though( he went off with the 'love of his life')...I hope to be where you are at some point...I am hoping to put the family house on the market in January, and then move to a 2 bed flat with my daughter who's 15 in a couple of weeks...( Just need some health problems sorted out first too).

He did everything for us too, so I know how you feel....It's horrible losing that sense of security isn't it?

Posted on: October 11, 2011 - 9:22am

Lucy Parsons

Hi Paula, I'm Lucy 1964! So like Mich I'm 47 too. I really hope you and your boys start to settle in to your new home and that you soon feel more able to cope with out the ongoing support of your ex. I'm new here too, though been separated for over two years, and I've got one boy aged 7. Look forward to exchanging support,

Take care,

Posted on: October 17, 2011 - 10:55pm