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I know i shouldnt be talking to you but i have no one else.
I am 21 and a single parent. I thought i had my mum but she is always bullying me. She has just this minute accused me of covering up for her friends 19 year old son. I dont even know the man. This friend of her's is saying my 16 year old brother is leading this 19 year ols man astray and he isnt.
The man told his mum he was going to birmingham for the weekend and my little brother was aswell so she assumed they were going together to my sisters house. I then got a text this morning from my mum saying the police are looking for them, so i got in touch with J and told him to ring them and let them know where her was. My mum asked me and i told her my brother was in birmingham and his friend was in another town because he is sick of his mum taking his money and telling him where he can and cannot go. My mum then accused me of being dangerious and getting involved with two families when all i did was tell her where they were. I dont know what she is doing. But i feel bullied and i am always frightened of what my mum will do next. What is going on. hat have i done. I told her what she wanted to know and her friend who is suppost to be a community leader is standing by her and taking notes of the text i have sent my mum. Every time i text her telling her where my brother is and that his friend isnt with him she just texted back ''witnessed''
I dont know what she is doing and i dont know what is even going on. I cant stop crying. I really dont know what to say to her.
Good heavens you poor thing, no wonder you are upset, sparkling is right, stop texting, do not get involved and if neccessary turn your phone off and go and do something else. Your brother is not your responsibility and neither is this woman's son. You will have to be really firm with your brother if he texts you (and keep the texts) and say that he has to deal with your mum direct. It sounds as if she thinks she can steamroller you into giving information, and the friend sounds as if she is encouraging this.
My favourite suggestion - can you get a new sim-card?
Loads of hugs too...
Hi thankyou every one for getting back in touch. I have just phoned my mums friend to apologise if she feels i have caused trouble for her and also to ask what was going on as i didnt have a clue. he told me she knows nothing about it and doesnt know what my mum is talking about. She said she knows where her son is and couldnt care less since he is a grown man and tht the police arnt looking for him as they would speak to her about it not my mum. She doesnt know why my mum is doing it and has told me not to get involved and ignore everything. My mum sent me a text saying
'' you are an angel and i will always be your mum. I will never neglect E.''
I replied plus E is my daughter
''What?''
she said
''GET LOST i didnt mean E so dont say diffrent''
i said
''What are you talking about???? what about E????''
she replied
Dont forget you picnic for tomorrow at the beach party. Have you seen the rain''
I replied
''one min you have a go at me the next your talking about the weather.''
Its not even raining, and we dont live anywhere near a beach so what is she doing?
I have literally just recived this text
''ok feel weak if you want. i dont like you but i love you and i love E. because you are evil has no part in a baby life. untill you corrupt her.''
these texts are our exact words, i have even kept the spelling mistakes in and ket the texts to show people when they accuse me of something i have no part of.
what is she doing?
why is she doing this?
Hi
Perhaps you do need to change your number. Could someone else be using her phone?
Do you live with your Mum?
No i dont live with my mum, she has a drinking problem that has caused similar problems in the past. Family have noticed and are concerned for my little sister who is 9. She told me she was working with the scouts today and her friend confirmed that so she wouldnt have been drinking. Either she is going nuts, sorry to sound so immature but its either drink or going nuts. I dont know what to do. This is affecting me because i have been crying all day and if it is affecting me it is affecting my daughter because she is seeing me cry. I have been so upset that i have shouted at my little one for nothing. All she did was spill some water on the table and i shouted ''WATCH WHAT YOUR DOING''
I feel really guilty and said sorry to her and told her i am just a little tired. But she keeps asking why i am crying and comforting me and that isnt her job.
Is my mum mentally abusing me?
Definitely strange.
Go out an get a new sim-card. If you can get to a supermarket you can get them for as little as 99p at times.
Focus on your daughter and play with her, take her to the park anything.
When you feel stronger, then put the old sim-card in to check through messages.
What does concern me here is your sister. Are you concerned for her safety? Or is she ok.
You are not responsible for you Mother's behaviour.
You are responsible for your daughter's well being.
Don't let this woman spoil the time you're having with your daughter.
Hi Sarah. I would do as the others have suggested. Do not text her, don't reply to hers and if she rings you, don't answer it. Whether she has a problem or not, it is up to her to sort it. As you don't live with her, there is no need for you to get involved. I do hope you can enjoy the rest of the weekend without anymore horrid texts. As Sparkling has also suggested, change your sim card. They can be bought for just £1.
Sarah, is there anyone else who lives with your mum apart from your little sister? xxx
I will get a new sim now, there is a shop 2 doors away that sell them for 99p.
That's a good move Sarah 
No its just my mum and my sister. My little brother used to live with her but he was taken into care in march because my mum came to mine, got drunk and attacked him. She got off with it after the police found her, she said we were both liars and that she had had a drink but it was the first time since christmas. Which it wasnt. Socil services are involved but the social worker says she has no concerns for my sister. Yet my brothers social worker is very concerned. My mum has always been a good liar. I went to live with my dad when i was 15 after i had become addicted to drugs after her then boyfriend had got into bed with me hen i was 14. Nothing happened thank god but that was because my mum had come home from the pub and he decided to beat up on her. She didnt believe me when i told her and kept him. So i ran away and became a drug addict. My dad came for me and took me up to scotland with him. She said he never paid for the kids, but when he got work he did. She however never paid for me when i lived with him and kept all the child benefits and child tax credits for me and my older sister when we lived with him. She thinks all her kids are evil and hate her. And we dont. In my opinion its not a coincedence that 3 of your kid have been taken from your care and 3 kids have rebelled. That to me is either pure unluckiness or just a bad mum. My little sister is showing signes of doing it now and she will blame her for it and also blame my older sister, my little brother and me, because she said to me and my older sister when it happened to my brother that he was just copying me and her. He wasnt. I do become concerned for my sister sometimes but its better to try and stay in her good books so im not told to stay away. I adore my little sister and so does my daughter. If i were refused contact with her it would kill me.
Sorry to talk about all this but i just need someone to talk to. My family arnt the best and never were. In my family kids are nothing and when trouble happens its the fault of the kids not the parents. I am still considered a child in the family. They have taken my cousins baby off her when she was 20 because she went to a party and they accused her of being a bad mum. My older sisters first child was adopted after she ran away from the family and ended up on the streets. Now they are ignoring me and my daughter. They walk past us in the street and dont even look at us. I live a few doors away from an auntie who will walk past E in the street if she is playing out. I had no money once and needed gas and electric, so contacted my grandma who told me all she had was her money for her holiday. Me and my daughter went without gas or electric for a week. we were living off sandwiches. My family are very, very well to do.
Sorry again. Everthing is getting on top of me.
Sarah, I feel for you I really do, I have no familt support either for very different reasons but can empathise with you on how much it hurts xxx
I dont understand how there can be no concerns for your little sister if your little brother was taken into care in March. Do you have contact with him?
I do agree with what everyone else has said to you, this isnt your fault or your doing at all xxx
Do you have a number for the social worker that deals with your mum, just think it might be worth giving them a call to let them know whats going on, they might want to go check on your little sister to make sure she is ok?
Dont apologise for anything, we are all here to listen and to support each other the best way we can xxx
Thinking of you 
Hi Sarah. What an awful situation for you. Living so close to them must be terrible for you also. I too, really feel for you. Do you have friends nearby to support you at all? How old is your daughter? I would steer clear of all of them if I were you, but i know this will be hard as you are worried about your little sister, and want contact with her. I honestly don't know what to suggest, apart from speaking to the Social Worker. It can be done without them giving your Mum your name or anything. Don't apologise for posting, we are all here for you, and it's great that you feel able to share this awful situation with us. Hopefully, by getting things off your chest, and with support from us all here, it might help in some way. I do hope so. xx
Sarah, I just think that if you knew your little sister was safe away from your mum then you would find it so much easier to break free of your mum.
Do you have contact with your dad still? Is he your little sisters dad too or if not does she have contact with her dad at all.
xxx
Sarah, if and when you are ready, please feel free to join us over in the 'chat' section. Its just the same thing as this, posting, and waiting for a response, but it's generally where we go just to talk about our day, or have a bit of a giggle. This is the link here
Hello sarah and esme
It sounds as if your mum is having some real issues.
Yes change your number, as you deserve not to be hounded like this, but even more importantly you do need to speak to someone at Social Services, either your brother's social worker or your Mum's and tell them what is going on.....for your sister's sake. She may not be in any immediate danger (if you think she is then ring the police and the out of hours duty social worker) but in the medium to long-term this cannot be doing your little sister any good. Keep the texts you have had, too so that you can show them what you mean.
Let us know how you are this morning
Hi everyone, i have spoken to my mum. we bumped into eachother in the town center and she did apologise. She said she wanted to find out where my brother was (even though she knew) just to make sure we hadnt lied to her. So she decided to scare him with the police and basically manipulate me. Even so she has apologised. I have told her if she ever does anything like that to me one more time she will have to visit a solicitor. She did get abit funny with me but in the end she accepted it. She also got very embaressed when i told her i had found out about her friend knowing nothing about it. It did make me feel 10 foot bigger i am ashamed to say haha but it seemed to do the trick. She has probably worked out now that i am not as stupid as she thinks, or likes to think. I also gave her a quilt trip, i reminded her how good she was when my daughter was first born and when i was pregnant and told her i missed my old mum and wanted her back. I dont think she will give up the drink completly but at least it has gone from 4-5 bottles of red a night to 1-2 bottles of white. I am never concerned for my little sisters safety when my mum is with her, she is and always will be the apple of my mothers eye, my mum ould never hurt her. Ever. I know she is safe, the only concern i hve for my sister is when my mum is drunk she sleeps. If my mum has had a drink my sister is at least old enough to nip to the chip shop seconds away from the house. Not healthy but better than nothing. Plus it is rare considering my mum only drinks t night when she is in bed.
Thank you for all the support, i have changed my number and wont give it to my mum. My mums friend lives about 2 mins from my mums and after the other day she agreed to check in on my mum more often, just so she doesnt get lonely and turns to a bottle.
Thank you very much again. This web site has been a life saver. Any problems i have i come on here and write about it and then feel better. just writing about things gets it all out and the anger and/or sadness goes.
Thank you every one :D
You're welcome and I am glad to hear that you feel Ok about your sister and that you have been strong with your Mum.
I'm glad that you're doing ok.
I`m glad you are ok too xxx
Me too. Come back anytime and we'll be here to support you. Take care. Hope you've had a good weekend with your daughter. xx
Hi there
I have a friend who's father is an alcoholic, she spent many many years feeling inferior and unworthy of love etc and had a lot of emotional issues. When her child was born she realised she didn't want to carry this over into motherhood and found a book that she described as "Amazing" and "Life Changing". It is called A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics.
She said it was really easy to read and very eye opening - just wanted to share that with you Lola Ann Mitzy.
Hi
This is just my view point, and my thoughts...
Stop texting her. It's not up to you to cover for your brother or his friends.
I think in situations like this, where you are being put in a position you don't want to be is to not get involved.
If your brother tells you where he's going tell him you don't want to know.
Also tell you Mum that you are no longer going to be involved in their plans so that no one can point a finger your way. It is possible to do this in a way that is polite. If necessary, write it down or text it to her, letting her know you can't cope with and don't want to be in the middle of things.
Do you live with your Mum?