Ok where to start, I guess I should just jump straight in.
My name is Sarah, I'm 27 years old and have recently discovered I am pregnant (6 weeks or there about).
On the day I found out I was pregnant, I also found out that my boyfriend of 4 years was cheating on me. Totally unexpected, total shock to myself and my family and friends (I know, I know the whole "I never thought it would happen to me!" cliche) Anyway, he has made it perfectly clear he does not want me to continue with this pregnancy and he no longer wants to be with me. Has told me I'll ruin his life and my own if I have this baby. You see I have no job as he was my sole provider, he traveled a lot with work and wanted me to come along for the ride, told me that he didn't want me to work because I didn't have to and he enjoyed the 'freedom' it gave us. I also lived with him in his house, our home, for the past 3 and a half years. Luckily I did have the presence of mind to keep my old flat on, so at least I'm not homeless.
So there we go, 27, pregnant, jobless, single. I dont know what to do. I don't want to get rid of this baby but don't want people to think I'm selfish or stupid for keeping it. I understand that life will be a hard road if I keep this baby but don't want to get rid of it because people think I'm ruining my life.
I don't know really what I'm asking, I know I'm not technically a single parent yet but I'm facing the possible reality of becoming one, has anyone been in a similar situation or have any wise words of experience, please share, I really need some help/advice right now.
Thanks x
Hello SarahCE,
Welcome to One Space. I'm sorry that the situation has arisen that you've needed to find us, but glad that you have.
It sounds as though you are still in an understandable state of shock. You say you don't know what to do, and that sounds like everything is still 'up in the air'. Not knowing is one of the most difficult things to deal with, I think.
Your pregnancy is still at a very early stage & the truth of the mattter is whether you continue with it or not, it is no one else's choice to make but yours (nor is it any one else's right to judge you, although unfortunately someone, somewhere probably will). Do you want to have a baby now? What do you want from life now your partner is no longer in the picture? It sounds as though he was quite controlling in a subtle way - did you ever feel that?
Please have a look around the topic threads in the forum - there have been other women in very similar positions to yours who have found One Space much the same as you have. Perhaps reading their 'stories' might help you with your decisions.
Wishing you the very best of luck,
Mary
Hi Sarah
I think the decision is yours, it is your body and your mind, he may not want the baby and he does have a right to say that, however he should not guilt you into giving that baby up, I was in a similar situtation although mine started slightly differently to yours, i did have a good job, but i gave that all up because my ex wanted me to be a stay at home mum and that he would support me, here i am at 29 single, with a child and still a stay at home mum, there are loads you can do, the goverment will help you out if you want to keep the child, there are loads of places you can go for support and help, also there are training schemes that have childcare facilities for babies while you train to become a self effiecent mum,
Like i said the choice is yours and you should not be bullied into something you do not want to do. Good luck with the pregnancy and with your future