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hello, single mum in southampton


hello 2 all the mummies, i have only just joined this site, i have a little boy who is nearly 2, and his dad and i split a few months ago. I don't have family close by and i live in southampton, i am finding it very lonley, the evenings are the worst, i have childfree friends and friends with little ones but would like 2 meet single mums.  xx jess

Posted on: May 8, 2010 - 12:03pm

Hi Jess, welcome to One Space. It can be very lonely especially in the evenings. Does your 2 year old go to any toddler groups, where perhaps you could meet other single mums? I didn't actually like any of those groups, as I didn't feel very comfortable, but once my son, now 7, started Nursery, I met other Mums.

This is a great group, wonderful support, and lovely people.

I look forward to chatting.

Take care



Posted on: May 8, 2010 - 1:29pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

hello Jess06

Good to have you here! You said hello to all the mummies but there are daddies too.

I know it can feel difficult to meet other people in your situation, I remember going to groups where I felt left out because everyone else's topic of conversation appeared to me what they were making their husband for tea (riveting stuff, eh?) but it is worth trying all the local groups because you might make a really good friend.

There's lots of online chat and support here, we would love it if you were able to join in and become a regular with us. There is a huge range of topics if you have a look around the website. Also, have you had a look at http://www.netmums.com/meet/ Of course this is for all parents not just single ones but there are a lot of us about so worth a try.

You're right about the evenings being hard. Is there any way you can get out once a week, even if to a evening class or similar, and get a babysitter?

Posted on: May 8, 2010 - 3:05pm


Hi.  I can sympathise with the loneliness too.  I live near my parents, but most of my friends live elsewhere now, and none of them have kids.  Toddler groups could be a good idea if you haven't tried any yet, but the ones I went to seemed to be lacking in fellow single mums.  And I found that there were very few mums of a similar age to myself (mid 20s), so we didn't have much in common really.  My little girl's 3 and a half, so she's at nursery now.  I'm hoping things will get easier once she starts making friends, and as I get to know the other mums.  But it is difficult.

Posted on: May 8, 2010 - 4:57pm


Hi Frazzled. It is difficult, but I'm sure it will get easier for you. You're very lucky in that you have the support from your parents, and that they live close by. I think most of us on One Space can identify with the loneliness, especially the evenings. You do learn to adjust to it though, like we learn to adjust to most things I guess.

I have been living on my own for five years now. I have a 7 year old son, and we lived with my Mum, as I was her carer. After she died, I had no one really. I do have family, but I'm still very much on my own. Sometimes I still crave company at night, but on the whole I am very happy. I have made some good friends since my son started school, mostly married. That is why I find this group so fantastic. We are all in the same boat, and we help and support each other.

Hope you're having a good weekend. Take care



Posted on: May 8, 2010 - 8:43pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I do think the playground is a good place to meet other parents, and therefore nursery also when you are waiting to pick up your child. You can invite another child over to play and hopefully the parent will come for a cuppa as well. It's hard though: it's stepping outside your comfort zone sometimes to be a bit bolder with people than feels natural. But nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Posted on: May 9, 2010 - 7:15am

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi jess06

Welcome from me too! It sounds as though you are feeling really isolated.  In your area there are a few single parents on the Single Parent Fun website.

As Louise suggests Netmums Meet a Mum is also a great place.

The evenings can seem to go on forever sometimes and feel particularly quiet, please come online and chat to others.

I have a friend who is absolutely obsessed with Tea Bag Folding!  You buy coloured paper and fold it symmetrically and she makes some amazing cards.  She can't wait to get her children to bed just so she can get busy!

Do you have any hobbies? 


Posted on: May 10, 2010 - 4:56pm