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Hi my name is Jenny and I am a single parent with an 11 year old son.  I split up with his father about six years ago and after about three years of being on my own met someone else, who idolised my son and vice versa but unfortunately this did not work out either and I have been on my own now since February

Posted on: July 17, 2012 - 11:12am
rudimentary mary
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello there jennyl,

Welcome to One Space Smile

Sorry to hear your last relationship didn't work out - it sounds like it was important to your son. Will your ex be staying in touch with him?

How are you finding being on your own again?

Looking forward to getting to know you a bit better.


Posted on: July 17, 2012 - 11:33am


hello jennyl - welcome to the boards - I am lrh for short!

Look forward to hearing more about you - we are a friendly bunch 

Hope you are coping ok after the break up of your relationship - feel free to rant away here we have all done itEmbarassed

Posted on: July 17, 2012 - 12:47pm


Hi Mary

It was very important to him, he doesn't see his father very often and my ex was a constant in his life, he did live with us and my son saw him as a father figure and I want him to feel that again.

I am coping alright on my own, been there before I suppose when I split up with his father but I really do want to meet my "soulmate", I make wrong decisions when it comes to choosing partners, I don't know what I am looking for but only seem to find the ones that take me for granted (my fault I let them).  I think I think I'm not good enough to anything better, my relationship with my dad is not good maybe that is something to do with it, I really don't know.  What I do know is that after being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010 and having a masectomy and a course of chemo, I need to change my way of thinking or I will just go down the same old road again and I don't want that.

This site looks great and looking forward to exploring it more.


Posted on: July 17, 2012 - 1:14pm


Hi Irh

Thanks for contacting me and I am looking foward to exploring this website more over the next few weeks.  Have signed up to the life coaching course already.

Thanks sometimes I don' have anyone to talk to so will be good to have a natter on here.


Posted on: July 17, 2012 - 1:16pm


aah jennyl sorry to hear about your breast cancer.  I am sure you hit the nail on the head with regards to your relationship with your dad - I am sure at some point you will find someone who you were meant to be with - I am 9 months down the road - was married for 17 years - I still find life hard sometimes - you can bore yourself with my thread "It's only been a week" if you like!

I have made great friends on here - I have just joined meetups.com and am looking at getting out more but not as a meeting a man thing more a making new friends thing

Keep posting JennyWink

Posted on: July 17, 2012 - 1:26pm


Ah, Jenny, it's almost like reading my own story! I split up from my first husband (who was abusive) after 12 years, my second husband, who the children adored and vice versa, died of bowel cancer four years ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of months ago and had a mastectomy 3 weeks ago. Awaiting chemo at the moment.

I am not letting this getting me down, and whoever (if) I meet will really like me for me, not for looks or anything else. I am confident enough in myself to be ok with or without a man.

There is no reason why you can't do whatever you set your mind to! :-)

Posted on: July 17, 2012 - 2:03pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi jennyl and welcome from me too! Smile

We absolutely have to find peace in our hearts and our lives without the existence of a partner. Then when we do meet someone we do not compromise ourselves.

A relationship (with whomever) is a entity of 3, not 1 as some have grown up to believe. (ie: soulmate, 2 become 1 etc etc)

There is you and your life, him and his life and then your shared life. I found this really useful information when considering relationships, that I have to keep my own life, loves, friendships and enjoyment going, regardless of what my partner wanted.

How is your son coping after your recent separation? Does he see his biological dad? Will he see your ex boyfriend?

Posted on: July 17, 2012 - 5:48pm

happy mamma

Hi Jennyl

This is a fab site and it keeps me sane I too split from my ex 6 yrs ago and then went on to meet what I thought was my soul mate - last week after 5 yrs together we want different things - I will start a new thread on this I wont hijack your post.

Lovely to have you on board


HM x

Posted on: July 18, 2012 - 2:53pm


Hi jennyl Smile

Posted on: July 19, 2012 - 8:36am


all recovered now fingers cross - although it was a tough and scarey time, I think it has made me a stronger person and it certainly made me see who really cared and who didn't and helped me make some of the difficult decisions I have had to over the last year.  I look forward to reading your thread.

I to am looking to meet friends as well and will have a look at the meetups site.

Will keep posting Smile

Posted on: July 20, 2012 - 8:35am


Ah Hopeful, yes our stories do seem very much alike and so sorry to hear that you are going through breast cancer too.  How are you getting on after your mastectomy, hope you are recovering well and taking things easy before you know it it will all be over and you will be back to normal, I can't believe that just over a year ago, I was feeling ill and horrible and now am back to normal.  If you need to talk about anything please drop me a message.

You have the right attitude by the sounds of it, I tried to stay really positive through it all and of course some days were not so good but I really thing staying positive helped with my recovery and like you (if) I meet a man he will have to like me for me.  I unfortunately need to work on being confident within myself which is something I have struggled with for years and years because I have never been given that confidence by my nearest and dearest only put-you downs but it is a work in progress and I will get there that is for sure.


Posted on: July 20, 2012 - 8:48am



Yes I suppose we never really know what is around the corner, this site looks great and am hoping it is going to put a lot of things into perspective for me, I tend to over think things when I'm alone and then it blows things out of proportion.  Look forward to reading your thread but you wouldn't be hijacking if you posted on here

Posted on: July 20, 2012 - 8:52am

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi jennyl, it is tough to find confidence if you haven't been raised with all encouraging parents. Do have a look at our Everyday Assertiveness Course to help you on your journey.

I think a lot of low self esteem is what we say when we talk to ourselves. If we think we are rubbish, or people won't listen to us, when we do say something they instantly get that impression.

What do you like doing in your spare time?

Posted on: July 20, 2012 - 3:23pm


my parents were not encouraging at all, not ever, in fact my whole family are like that, they give you no confidence whatsoever, they just put you down and if you have some good news or something good has happened in your life they just poo poo it or make some derogatory comment, my step-mum does not acknowledge anything I or my son do but she does it on purpose to make you feel totally insignificant and then gushes about some other kids in the family, heaping praise all over the place to really make you feel bad.

I know this has affected many areas of my life in the past but that is why I have joined here because I don't want to feel like that anymore, I feel more confident already just talking on here and I've only been on a week if that.

In my spare time, I love spending time with my son (although he would rather be out with his mates lol), walking the dog, exercising, spending time with friends.

I will definately be doing the assertiveness course too.

Posted on: July 23, 2012 - 8:43am

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello jennyl

Glad you are enjoying using the site Smile

I was interested to read your comments about your step-mum...in my experience I think it likely that she is quite offhand with other members of the family, and gushes on about YOU to THEM!! What you have written underlines the importance of praising and complimenting people and we can learn that lesson and be a different sort of parent to our own children...actually it is good that you are nurturing your relationship with your son as the closer you are, the less traumatic the teen years will be.

What sort of dog do you have?

Posted on: July 23, 2012 - 9:55am


yes thank you the site is great - I'm not so sure to be honest regarding my step-mum, she goes out of her way to be horrible and condesending to my sister and myself and our children - if ever the whole family get together, she will go out of her way to show us that she is all in with my cousins and their wife's and children and practically ignore us and ours - I avoid most family situations now if I can because I refuse to put myself and my son in that position anymore and then I spend the next week disecting why did she do that blah blah blah, everyone know what she is like and how she is but no one will stand up to her and my dad is just as bad as she can do no wrong in his eyes, they are very egotistical people who never think they do any wrong.  Even if one knows the other one has done something horrible and you try and get your point across they close ranks and will defend each other to the end.

I would actually like to be a fly on the wall and listen to some of the conversations that go on between certain members of my family about me and my sister but hey ho, yes I do have a fantastic relationship with my son because I will never be like them ever.

We have a Jack Russell he is lovely


Posted on: July 23, 2012 - 12:50pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Sounds like your step-mum is someone to avoid if she has that effect on you, hurtful when your dad is joining in, though. And great that you have recognised it and resolved not to be like that with your own boy.

Bet your dog keeps you active! My neighbour has a retired greyhound, he is 7 feet tall when he jumps up! but as soft as a brush


Posted on: July 23, 2012 - 2:29pm


yes she definately is someone to avoid - only yesterday I was talking to my dad and he said something and I said "well I did put that in the email to you last week" and he said "what email, we never saw any email from you" and I said well "she" must of because I got a reply saying "got your email, have a nice time" (I was in Brighton for the weekend) but everything I had put in the email had been completely disregarded and more to the point she deleted it so my Dad couldn't see it and he thought that I had not been in contact, I could tell he was a bit flustered on the phone but he won't say anything to her, she will get away with it and if I confront her about it, he will close ranks on her regardless and it will cause World War III, so there is no point

Posted on: July 24, 2012 - 7:11am

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

That does sound frustrating jennyl. I am presuming they share an email address. Does your dad have a mobile? Could you text him directly instead?

I think you are being assertive already - by avoiding family situations because you know how you come away feeling. Knowing your own mind and acting on your feelings is brilliant. You don't have to stay away forever, when you feel stronger, then you will find other people easier to deal with, because you will feel more content in yourself, anything someone says that is hurtful will just roll off your back. As you will recognise that is their way and their stuff and nothing to take personally because you know yourself and don't deserve bad comments. Smile

Are you studying or working at the moment?

Posted on: July 24, 2012 - 9:50am


Hi Jeenyl,

So glad you are getting support from this site. I am new too and have found lots of support and friendship.

I think what the others have said about recognising in yourself things that you find hard and choosing to avoid them is great advice. I found that a valuable lesson to learn about myself.

I'd love a dog, but as I work full time its just not feasible. I have a cat instead who I adore (except when she leaves me half eaten birds at the bottom of the stairs Surprised)

Posted on: July 24, 2012 - 10:17am