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I'm just talking a intreast if people think or let half siblings meet? and people's thoughts on it or if you have been though it either via your child or yourself? A lot of you already know my story but heres a quick recap...my current situation is I have a child of under a year (separated at 3 months pregnant) her father visits (has supervised visits) but has never really shown a intreast in "A" & doesnt make Contact outside of visits now. His new girlfriend of a few months is now appatently pregnant (his out of visits contact, txts etc stopped when he told me he was expecting another baby, before that he txted every other day) but I feel A shouldn't have contact with her half sibling until they are both old enough & her father isn't having supervised visits.....I understand that this isn't everyone's views and I'm not looking for advice, I just wonder how other people feel about siblings and contact?
Agreed Anna, I think it would be nice for children to grow up together and go on holidays together :) depending on the situation of course as its not always possible...I don't think there's much point if they are babies (very young)and it's a complicated situation coz they won't really understand but as they get older I fully support it..my situation is a bit different coz her father has the supervised visits at mine so of course I wouldn't let me ex's misses and baby come over lol but if he can one day have unsupervised visits outside my home & be trusted then I'm all for it, I wish I had known my half sisters & was given the chance
I guess when the baby is very small, he/she would be unable to come along with your ex for visits, but hopefully this will progress to him having your little one unsupervised.
It sounds as though you have thought it out and have come to some sensible conclusions Tinkerbell2
Hi Tinkerbell,
Personally I think half sibling should be in contact as much as is possible. No matter what happens between parents I dont think should effect the children on either side.
My situation was unusual because I had contact with my ex's son before we even had a baby. When I met him he was dragging his ex through the court (sounds familiar) and was having contact every other weekend. After the court hearing he was awarded 50% access so his son was living with us wednesday to sunday. Both me and my daughter were very close to him and my biggest regret was that I didnt try harder to maintain some kind of contact when we split. My daughter was reunited with her brother two years ago at the contact centre as he came to the suprvised visits with his dad and she was absolutely beaming at the thought of having a big bro. My daughter now texts her big bro regularly (he is now 13 and dont think he would appreciate phonecalls with an 8 year old) and me and his mum have had communications so it will always be fine for the two of them to meet although I think too much time passed and her brother is now too old to really want to spend time with a little girl. Its such a shame.
I would recommend getting the children acquainted quite young (not so much babies) so that that bond can properly form.
Hello LittleAngel, thank you for your input and it's lovely to hear that yourad sighted and her half brother have contact still and you can get along with his mother Or at least talk) . I have heard so many stories where parents have said no contact must be made and the children suffer, when my ex first told me about the baby he demanded they meet as soon as the baby is born but he's a very selfish person and only ever thinks about himself and thinks a baby can leave its mother as soon as its born (dumb I know) , as I said I don't think this should happen yet as he has supervised visits around mine so of course I don't want a baby or his gf of only a few months being brought into the equation yet until her father can get some kind of relationship with our child first, I feel there is no need for the children to meet yet as my daughter isn't even a year old and won't know any different if her sibling is there or not but I'm all for it as she gets older....from what I hear her father has made out to people he's the worlds best dad so I doubt he will even let me meet his gf coz then she would find out the truth! recently I have found this "sibling" issue being debated alot among friends
Yeah i agree with you Tinkerbell2 there is no point at that age but what I would suggest if your ex is willing is to ask him for a photo of new sibling when he/she arrives so you can keep telling/showing your little one and she will be used to the idea of have a sibling by the time they meet.
A lot of my friends have chosen not to give their children contact with any half siblings mostly because they "hate" the new girlfiend, I think that is very unfair on both children. Myself and my ex's old girlfiend never had an issue with each other but (like your ex) my ex tried to keep our contact between each other to an absolute minimum.
Hi Tinkerbell2, i know exactly how you feel, my ex has done the same, even though i have asked him not to introduce them yet due to LO not understanding and not having a very strong relationship with his dad and also his gf beat my LO when they met as well. I have a half sister i have never met, and me and my brothers believe she will cause us trouble when our dad dies, I have seen how half siblings can also destroy a family but also how they can enrich them through my parents.
In my opinion they need to be older and have secure relationships with the father before meeting, my LO had an issue after he met his half sister, and i was called into nursery about it, but i was told by ex not to be stupid and that even as babies and toddlers they can know each other. Its your house and if he is on supervised visits and bring them round, you can still say no. they want their cake and eat it but they dont think of the bigger picture let alone the reactions of a slightly older sibling.
I think that as it is not the childrens fault, they should know each other if there is any possibility. They deserve to have one another, it can give them an extra sense of self and might actually make visits easier - as they get older.