hazeleyes
DoppleMe

As some of you know, my son 8 has shown an interest in the violin. I bought him one recently for his birthday, and figured that would also save me money, as I had to pay a sum to the school for allowing him to bring it home. It wasn't a great deal, but being on a budget etc.....

He has now joined year 3, and today he brought a letter home saying that for violin lessons, it is now £30 a term!!!!! Letter states it is because of Government and Budget cuts! I know that this is cheap for lessons, but how much can we actually budget for.

Plus, another letter telling parents we have to buy a certain book, £5.

Last week, I had to pay for a password in order for C to use an educational programme at HOME!

As you can imagine, C and I have come to blows this afternoon, me telling him, I cannot get the money to the school by the date given, 17th September. THIS FRIDAY. He is quite rightly upset, which means I'm upset.

Another trip into the school I think. I shall explain that I'm a single Mum, and cannot possibly pay the money by Friday. C told me no-one knows that I'm a single Mum, and I've explained that it is nothing to be ashamed of etc, and the school should understand my circumstances.

I was being very good the other week, by writing out in detail my expenses from now until xmas, as I also have a fridgefreezer to pay for. By my workings out, I could just about manage to live on my income, and now I'm handed this letter.

So cross YellYell

Posted on: September 14, 2010 - 4:37pm
emmamolly

I completely get what you are saying..

It seems that my daughters school is always asking for money for this and that.. they eve call them voluntary contributions which makes me laugh as in the next sentance they say that if the amount is not met the school trip/event will not beable to go ahead!! makes me v v angry.

Hope you get it all sorted

Posted on: September 14, 2010 - 5:05pm

towerofstrength

I completely sympathise x

You just want to do your best for your son and then money, stupid money is a barrier.

I budget an "emergency" budget for unexpected things, which still isn't enough but sometimes helps. This won't help you for Friday though sorry.

When will you be able to speak to the school? 

Posted on: September 14, 2010 - 5:32pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

I shall have to go in tomorrow. Offer to pay in installments, and hopefully.....  It does state on the letter that if money isn't paid by Friday, then the child won't be able to play, then at the bottom, it says, if there is a problem in paying, please contact the school!!! Just like voluntary contributions really.

C is not happy, I'm not happy, and it's always me who ends up the bad wicked Mum. I did ask him which tree I should go and pick the money off. He simply told me to go the post office with my card. If only it was that simple!!!

Thanks emmamolly and towerofstrength.

x

Posted on: September 14, 2010 - 5:49pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Well C does not understand, he is only eight, it is the school's fault. I remember my boys' primary school doing this very frequently: they would send a letter home and they either wanted money OR for the child to appear in some sort of fancy-dress costume for a school activity, and that was with 48 hours notice, no time to make anything or go round the charity shops or anything. When I complained about the fancy dress, they said it was because some parents are so competitive that their child would appear in an outfit from Hamleys so they wanted to nip that in the bud.

I have had umpteen "discussions" about money with the school. Music lessons were always free for those whose families were on Income Support and I did read in the press about this being a possible target for funding cuts. It has happened very quickly! It is not fair that a child from a lower income family should not have these opportunities. I feel a letter to your MP coming on, alisoncam...

Posted on: September 14, 2010 - 7:19pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Ooohhh yes Louise. You little bright spark you Smile  I've actually just bought some writing paper today, 3 pads. Nice timing eh? hehe

Posted on: September 14, 2010 - 7:54pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Definitely a letter to the MP.

The school should understand.  I can understand paying for the music lessons as we did here.

The bit that actually makes me feel like finger wagging is having to pay for a ruddy pasword.

WHY????????????????

Is that some PTA money making scheme?  I certainly can't see the education authority coming up with that madness.

Is that three letters then?

Posted on: September 14, 2010 - 8:23pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Hehehe. Three, four, maybe more.

Posted on: September 14, 2010 - 8:25pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Almost a pad for each then...

Posted on: September 14, 2010 - 8:36pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Have been in, and given £10 toward violin lessons, and explained I will pay it in installments. Secretary will look into it for me.

My friend, ex headteacher, told me that the school have to pay for the software, which is why parents have to pay for the password.

In years to come, we'll probably have to pay to send them to school, hehe

Posted on: September 15, 2010 - 1:53pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Probably will.

I think the password bit is awful though.

All my lot have passwords and I've never paid (Wales though...)

Posted on: September 15, 2010 - 2:06pm

Bubblegum
DoppleMe

Yeah! come to wales we have sheep too.

Posted on: September 15, 2010 - 2:50pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Update on payments for violin lessons

C came out with a letter. Enclosed was the £10 that I had sent in this morning as part payment. Letter reads.   I am returning your payment of £10 along with reply slip. Unfortunately, we cannot accept part payments and agree to any instalment arrangements. It has been clearly stated in the letter that all parents/guardians received, that only full payments will be accepted with the letter.

The letter that I received yesterday quite clearly reads at the bottom

If you have any issues or problems making this payment please do not hesitate to contact the school so we can discuss

 

Does this read to any of you, that they will not accept part payments???

So, do I go and see this jumped up school admin or should I see the Head?

I feel C is being discriminated against because we are 'poorer' than others who can afford to pay outright. Fire coming out of my ears here.

Posted on: September 15, 2010 - 5:37pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Yes, go and see the Head and take the letter that says "any issues" etc.

Posted on: September 15, 2010 - 6:27pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Yep.  Go and see the Head - with the £10...

I see that he's been discriminated against too!  And tell the violin teacher, so they can let the Head know how keen C is...

xxxxx

Posted on: September 15, 2010 - 6:57pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

The violin teacher is only in the school on Tuesdays, so if it isn't sorted, then C won't be seeing him again. C has told me to take £20 from his birthday money, but added that I had to pay him back!!! I tried explaining that it was a solution for now, but I will have the same problem everytime they return to school after a holiday. Seem to be going round and round in circles with him, and I'm ending up getting annoyed over it.

I appreciate that he is only 8, but it's so blinking frustrating for me, trying to explain money situations over and over. He shouldn't have to listen to me harping on about it so often. I remember watching Nanny 911, and the mother got a telling off, and was told, 'It isn't the child's fault that you are in this position with money, and you're wrong to keep on'.

That is me, (not on the programme of course), going on and on.

Going to give myself a slap on the wrist, go on timeout mat, and slope off to bed. Don't things always look better in the morning?

NO

Posted on: September 15, 2010 - 7:52pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

So.... If you used his money to sort it this term (as it would be his money on him...), still take the letter in to the Head to discuss this last paragraph. 

And hopefully the violin teacher can point out what a good student C is.

There should be funds available for things like this.  What does the PTA raise funds for?  The one in the primary school was originally set up to help parents who perhaps were going to struggle with trips, etc.  (I have to say it only ever seemed to buy books and white boards in the end though.)

Posted on: September 15, 2010 - 8:41pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Been up since 5, how I hate not being able to sleep when something is on my mind!

I am going to borrow the money from C, am going to speak to the Head, explain everything, and see what he says. If the answer is still no, I shall have to speak to violin teacher next week.

I still haven't received a reply to my letter of complaint last week (bullying). Quick enough to reply about money issues though aren't they?

Am getting very wound up, and I have the dentist at 11 today. Could take the frustration out on him, and bite!!!! hehe

Posted on: September 16, 2010 - 5:59am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Don't bite the dentist, alisoncam!!

It's very hard to draw up a budget (which I know you have diligently been doing) when extra things keep being thrown into the mix. Income Support was designed to provide a basic level of living costs for families and that's where the problem lies, the word "basic" means that it does not cover anything other than that.

I really empathise about the having to explain money things over and over to C. I was on my own with my boys from when they were eight and three. I explained it soooooo much to them that sometimes they would come out with it even in relation to something really small Embarassed It's all very well Nanny 911 saying that children should not have to face these things but that is the reality.

I don't think there is an answer. You could enquire of the PTA as sparkling suggests. For future terms, it's the old forward planning story. How long is a piece of string when it is expected to be a piece of elastic and stretch so far? Hopefully you will be able to do the £20 a week earnings thing before too long as that would make such a difference to so many things...a lot of your issues are revolving round the money thing, aren't they? I don't know about you but I object in principle to the fact that some are more equal than others when it comes to things like swimming lessons and music lessons and I remember so well that feeling of fury and frustration at my boys not having the same opportunities as those with tons of cash.

Good luck at the dentist today, he was really nice last time so try not to worry too much Wink

Posted on: September 16, 2010 - 7:43am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I really hope the dentist today.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Posted on: September 16, 2010 - 8:16am

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

I saw the Headmaster yesterday, and produced the letters, one which clearly says about 'problems paying', and the one from the school administrator. I also handed him the £30, telling him that I'd had to borrow it from C himself. He did say the letter clearly says blah blah, and he would be speaking to the administrator. I pointed out that on the website, it does ask that parents support their children in activities such as music, and that I was doing this, had even bought C his own violin, and now, just because I was unable to pay in full, instead of installments, C might have to be taken out of the lesson, which is totally unfair on him.

Head made all the right noises, lets see what he can do (if anything).

Posted on: September 17, 2010 - 6:29am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hmm well you have done what you can, sounds like the stuff in the letter is just a "standard blurb". I expect the Head cannot imagine a world where £30 just is not available, well that is my experience of people in authority in general, that they have no idea of what it is like to live on a lower income (soapbox time Wink)

Posted on: September 17, 2010 - 7:02am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

As has often been said in these difficult times.  The poor get poorer and the rich are just a little less rich...

Fingers crossed Alison.

xxx

Posted on: September 17, 2010 - 1:15pm

hazeleyes
DoppleMe

Head didn't approach me, and I haven't even got a receipt for the £30! Will get that sorted on Monday. I went to buy the book and cd yesterday, they were out of stock, but had ordered more. I paid for it, and was shocked to discover it had gone up by £1!!!! Guess that's because it's in full demand. CHEEK.

Posted on: September 18, 2010 - 2:59pm

HelenT

Alisoncam,

How frustrating! Yet another issue for you have to discuss with the school.

Undecided

HelenT

Posted on: September 19, 2010 - 7:57pm