harissa

Last weekend I stripped out my daughter's bedroom (she's moved to university) and moved my son into it.

It was a huge job, not helped by the fact that the carpet up there is so old that the rubbery backing has disintegrated into greenish grey powder. I filled up 3 dyson cylinders before it even began to get to an acceptable level. We can't afford a new carpet so the old one has to stay. Both my son's and daughter's mattresses and also all the bedding is ancient and much repaired. If I ever DO get a job, buying a new mattress and bedding was at the top of the list BUT I thought that the only issue would be tolerating the shabbiness until then. I am quite a master of shanty town chic!

This morning my son woke up absolutely covered in itchy bites on his buttock. An internet search shows that they are almost certainly bed bug bites. What can I do about it? Am I supposed to pay to get the house fumigated and destroy the carpet, mattress, bedding and the few clothes my son has? Where have these things come from when the room has been regularly cleaned and has practically nothing in it? We don't have furry pets in this house btw.

Does anyone know if there is any help for a person like myself (single mum on income support) in treating infestations like this? As I am chemically sensitive any pesticides will make me very ill, and I am dreading that. I don't want to apply for a social fund loan as I will have difficulty paying it back. We already cannot afford to make ends meet on the existing income support. For example to pay for an urgent unavoidable phonecall to my daughter today, I will not be able to buy fresh food this week (we won't starve as I have pasta and other dried stuff to tide us over).

I am getting SO fed up with all this. It is one battle after another with little sign of a break. :o(

Posted on: November 11, 2008 - 10:01pm
Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Harissa

Bed bugs are apparently on the increase due to so many people travelling in and out of this country. Talk to your local council, they may be able to treat your infestation free for people on income support. Discuss with them your allergies.

Also have a look around on the internet for alternative remedies - so you can pass the information onto the council.
http://www.pestfreehome.co.uk - they offer some natural or non chemical options.

You could also discuss with your council a community care grant, to cover costs for beds, carpets etc. http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk/JCP/Customers/WorkingAgeBenefits/Dev_013948.xml.html I am not sure how often these are given out these days, but if you can prove that these are exceptional circumstances, you may get support from them. Ask the Council where else you could get support with these things.

Good Luck, please let us know how things are going :)

Life as a single parent can seem like an ongoing battle sometimes, but I am sure you are doing a fantastic job, take time out to sit back and see all the positive things that you have achieved. Acknowledge that things are hard and that although it is difficult you ARE dealing with it all.

We all need to give ourselves a pat on the back for getting this far! - No-one else is going to do it.

Posted on: November 13, 2008 - 1:44pm

harissa

Thanks for the mention of the Community Care Grant - that sounds like just the ticket! Unfortunately it requires phoning a premium rate number to get through to them but the local job centre says I can use the centre's phone tomorrow to make the call for free.

I need to act fast on getting the 2 bedrooms sorted out as my daughter has decided to drop out of university and is expecting to come home. That is another thing I'd rather not have on my plate as it means that the moment she gets a job, our income will be slashed even further. Been there, done that, still picking up the pieces. When she started uni a few months ago, there were at least 5 pages of job ads in the local paper. Yesterday's paper had just 1 and a half pages - mainly for late night warehouse staff and the odd clerical job in the next county. The prospect of having a mopey unfulfilled unemployed daughter around doesn't fill me with great delight.

My biggest achievement today is finding a loaf of bread for 30p. I am surprised how pleased it has made me, really! Wey hey, my son will have breakfast tomorrow! Would you believe I spent 2 damn hours cycling around yesterday but the only bread left anywhere was all over £1.10. Mostly the shelves were empty of fresh fruit, veg and bread. I'm finding that pretty scarey to be honest and am wondering whether the empty shelves are happening all over the country?

Posted on: November 13, 2008 - 5:53pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi harissa

The bed bugs must feel like the last straw for you! I have a few practical suggestions about the rest of your situation which may help. I don't know where you live but most towns have a Community Furniture Store where you can get good quality second hand goods. Also your local Salvation Army is a source of food parcels if you get very low on food supplies, they will also help you at Christmas. If you don't mind telling me where you live (which town you are nearest) then I can give you the number of your local Council for Voluntary Services.The can tell you the whereabouts of these services in your area. They will also be able to put you in touch with any local (private) trusts which help individuals with small grants.

Finally, have you got a Credit Union in your area? I don't know if you have heard of them, but for anyone who hasn't they are a savings/borrowing scheme. You join and can save £1 or more a week or borrow money and repay as little as £1 a week. I think they are a great way to manage money when resources are so tight.Go to http://www.abcul.org/page/members.cfm to search for your nearest one.

Good luck, harissa, and keep going: you are a great mum!

Louise :)

Posted on: November 15, 2008 - 11:22am

harissa

Thanks Louise. I do not lack furniture and, indeed, most of it is 2nd hand from charity shops, abandoned in hedgerows and from good old Freecycle! I recommend Freecycle for most things as it saves stuff ending up in landfill sites and is a way of redistributing stuff. I gave away a wardrobe last week and was surprised by the number of people who indicated they wanted it!

Things like mattresses and carpets are a different matter and I want to avoid 2nd hand on those. If they've come from a house where animals live, or people smoke or if airfresheners and carpet cleaners have been used, I'd get very ill going near them. I have to be careful going round carpet showrooms as I get overcome by the fumes and, unfortunately , that has made it difficult for me to fill in the form for the community care grant. I now have an appointment at the CAB next week where someone can help me fill it in.

As it happens we do have a credit union in my area but I have never really followed it up as I have a bank account and credit card and have always managed the cash flow well. It is only in the last few months that my expenditure on basic things has exceeded my income. I don't drink, smoke, gamble, have holidays, buy clothes or newspapers so there isn't anything left to cut down on apart from the food and fuel which we need.

Christmas has been cancelled in this household and it is a huge relief not to have to worry about it. Christmas-lovers think I'm mad but really it is no hardship! The whole season has become far too commercial and divorced from its religious origins. There is too much pressure to get into debt and do things to excess at Xmas and I'd far rather get things when we need them rather than being pressurised into the whole Xmas spending thing. My son doesn't enjoy the fancy food, and we are veggies anyway, but I know he loves roasted chestnuts and will be more delighted to tuck into them! What we WILL be doing is baking stuff to take round to peoples' holiday house parties - that is rather fun.

I hadn't considered foodparcels and would be a bit embarrassed to ask. I've not been embarrassed to take food out of skips so I suppose I'm daft ;o)

Posted on: November 17, 2008 - 7:07pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Yes of course I hadn't realised that your allergies would also affect your option of having a second-hand bed, sorry :oops: The Community Care Grant is your best option.....or failing that, private grant to be obtained through the Council for Voluntary Services.

You're not the first person to say that they are "cancelling" Christmas. I think a lot of people will cut down their expenditure this year.

I understand your reluctance re the food parcels! With mentioning this and the Credit Union I was trying to reassure you that there is a safety net there (to ease your worries re having time off sick) and also taking the opportunity to highlight areas which may be of use to other members as well.

I agree Freecycle is a fab scheme, anyone who wants to join their local group, go to http://www.freecycle.org/ to find your nearest one.

Keep on trucking!

Louise :D

Posted on: November 18, 2008 - 1:18pm

harissa

I've been busy cycling around getting quotes for things for the Community Care Grant application. I still can't believe how expensive things are, as I have never been in a position to buy things new so had no idea of the cost of such things! The CAB adviser warned me that my claim is likely to be unsuccessful and has kindly put me in touch with the local Lions Club. So hopefully I'll have some luck somewhere!

Posted on: December 2, 2008 - 12:46pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Good luck with it all, harissa. The Lions are a fab organisation and do deal with people as individuals so you may get some help there, fingers crossed!

Louise :)

Posted on: December 2, 2008 - 8:50pm

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Who are the Lions? Are they a local organisation? Or can we all benefit from this knowledge?

Posted on: December 3, 2008 - 12:18pm

harissa

Hi Anna,

I hadn't heard to them before either - they do not appear to be as well known as the Rotary Clubs.

Here is information about what they do and how they work
http://www.lionsclubs.org/EN/index.shtml

Posted on: December 4, 2008 - 2:43pm

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Thanks Harissa

I have just had a look at the Lions Clubs and its an excellent resource that I had never heard of before, hopefully others on the site will be able to benefit from this.

I love the fact that we have this place to share the wealth of knowledge that single parents have.

Thanks again!

Posted on: December 5, 2008 - 1:21pm

harissa

The Lion's Club man has just taken me to order the carpet. They also ordered my son a mattress and bedding. Life savers all of them, and I'm very grateful!

Posted on: December 19, 2008 - 12:59pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Ooh I have only just seen this post, Harissa, how exciting, hope things have settled down at home a bit now?

Louise :)

Posted on: January 27, 2009 - 7:18pm