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Fed up with getting nowhere!


Thank you Louise - I was on a little high last night from your complement:)

TowerofStrength - I'm glad you appreciated my reply, I didn't mean to make you cry though!! :)

Trust no one hey? Expect the worst and you can't be dissapointed. I call myself an optimistic pessimist;)

Volunteering doesn't make you a nice person automatically. I don't believe in altruism. Everyone does something to get something out of it for themselves. I listen to people go on about their kids cos I know they'll be a time when I'm going on about my kid;)

I wasn't actually doing anything else with my time, the Mind Befriending scheme attracted me because it provided a companion and also funds with which to go out and have a coffee or lunch or cinema etc. It also paid for travel.

I think I initially did some volunteering in a charity shop as well for the use of putting it on a CV and then gaining a real job with it. Which failed (I had an interview with mecca bingo - the lady said she was interviewing 6 people for 2 jobs that needed to be filled soon. I didn't get a job.) I then got pregnant and left job ideas on the back bench... will be picking them back up when L is at preschool after 3rd b'day. I know it's just about keep knocking on doors - A friend said she'd applied to 18 odd jobs before she got one.

I generally assume everyone's had a less than positive upbringing/life experience but then get really jealous when you meet Mr or Ms Perfect 2 parent family with siblings and money enough who go to Uni and got their 2,1 or better grades and perfect job, car, spouse, house... And it's terrible when I feel glad when they finally get some sh*t and see them go through something which you're so used to getting through that you're almost practised at it.

:) that doesn't sound like a nice person! But then I also generally assume that behind everyone's mask is the person who laughs when someone falls down and hurts themself in the street. Or at least thinks 'Glad that wasn't me!'

So yeah. Making friends is tough. I heard somewhere that after you leave education the chances of making good friends goes down to nearly not possible. I love those kind of facts which fill you with hope. Like that dr on Embarrassing Bodies - he said that the best way to be a healthy weight was to never be fat ever in the first place - once you tip the scales, that's it, your life is a never ending battle with food. Like smoking I guess.

So yeah, sorry I couldn't find any helpful things to say, just stirring the pot and adding really!

Still thinking about the friends thing... I don't think social networking has helped us much... whenever you speak to someone from an older generation they always mention how much better community spirit was. You babysat for your neighbour. you helped make them food when they were ill etc. A lot of other things were worse although the papers never let you think this - the whole fact that major crimes are actually lower than they have been in past etc.

Anyway I'm rambling.

I'm sorry. in an ideal world we would be meeting up for coffee tomorrow, and then maybe again next week, and then we'd have a week off because one or both of us was kind of sick of each other's moanings or gloatings or whatever!!!


Posted on: February 16, 2011 - 10:37pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi JaneHope, if there is one thing I have learned during the last half century it is that no-one is Mr or Mrs Perfect, some people just put on more of a show Laughing. Although money helps (obviously). It is perfectly normal to be glad when these seemingly untouchable people then have problems to deal with (it is called Schadenfreude and its simplest form is when we laugh at a bloke on telly slipping on a banana skin), it is just that not many people are honest enough to admit it. I agree with you about altrusim too!

We may  not be meeting up for coffee but we are here in this virtual space for whoever needs a bit of support. Thanks for your input on this and other threads, which is very much appreciated Laughing

Posted on: February 17, 2011 - 8:38am