mysonismyworld
DoppleMe

Im 18 and i have a beautifull 8 week old baby boy, im a single parent as my ex partner cheated on me and left me at 3 month pregnant.

He says he is taking me to court, to get accsess he the biological father but he is not on the baby's birth certificate and we are not married. 

I have some threts he has sent me on my phone he also drinks most days during the week and has taken drugs.

does he have any actuall rights to my baby? 

xx

Posted on: August 27, 2012 - 3:35pm
Tinkerbell2
DoppleMe

welcome to onespace......im afraid your ex does have access rights and can infact get his name put on the birth ceft via the court..

if he has a drug problem this will need to be proved in court, maybe though drug testing but this does not mean they will stop him seeing your son, he will just get visits via a contact centre.

 i also suggest you keep all txts he sends you so these can be shown in court.

There are many of us single mothers out there who hate the fact our exs have access to our children esp if we know how terrible of a person they are and we are the ones doing all the hard work while the fathers get all the good bits but sadly we just have to grin and bare it.

Do you have alot of support from your family and friends?

Posted on: August 27, 2012 - 3:47pm

mysonismyworld
DoppleMe

I have kept all text there is one that says he was going to stab me in the stomach? 

surley i can do something to stop this i did at first give him contact at my house and he then decided to take the mick out of me and came drugged out of his eye balls. he also left me i diddnt leave him i  know that makes some sort of difference to contact via solicitors but hes a idiot and i dont know what to do?

Posted on: August 27, 2012 - 4:06pm

mysonismyworld
DoppleMe

Also yes i have fantastic support through my family.

Posted on: August 27, 2012 - 4:07pm

Tinkerbell2
DoppleMe

you could always go to the police if you feel you are unsafe and show them the txts where he has threatened to stab you.

sadly threats against you will only mean that visits are at a contact centre and he has supervisered time alone with your son while you wait in another room. courts will only stop access all together if they feel the child is in danger. if your ex is showing them that he wants a relationship with his son and has never said/harmed him in anyway then he will get access, weather it be monthly or weekly.

 im guessing you can also ask he gets drug tested in court if you are concerned. this should be granted (however i am not an expert)

its very good to hear that you have great support from your family esp during this difficult time Smile

Posted on: August 27, 2012 - 5:50pm

mysonismyworld
DoppleMe

Thankyou. well he thretend to stab me in the stomach when i was pregnant does that count has harm towards my little one?

also he has said when he had accsess at my home in the past he turned around and said he will just take me son and i cant stop him so i have plenty against him.  

if it was supervised accsess then this matter would not be worrying to me but do you think he will get full acsess ? xx

Posted on: August 27, 2012 - 5:54pm

SUEKATZ

My heart goes out to you mysonismyworld. Anyone who would threaten a mother and their unborn child in the way you have described is despicable and a danger. Do contact the legal advisor on the one space site and also speak to your health visitor about your fears.

Posted on: August 27, 2012 - 8:30pm

littleangel
DoppleMe

Hi mysonismyworld x

How stressful for you when your baby is only 8 weeks old. This is your time to bond and enjoy motherhood and your ex is acting like plonker sending threats and everything.

Firstly has he actually been to the courts or is he just saying he is going to court? My ex said he was going court for 5 years before he actually went. It seems you have lots of evidence of his harrassing and threatening behaviour so be sure the courts are made aware of them. Your ex will first have to apply for Parental Responsibility if he isnt on the birth certificate and once he has this in the eyes of the law he has 50% of the responsibility your child, however courts rarely will say 'as he has 50% responsibility he will get 50% custody' it doesnt work like that so try not to panic. So long as you are willing to allow your ex to have some kind of access either through a contact centre or supervised by yourself/family member then you will be fine as that is probably all he will get to begin with anyway.

I know its hard but try not let this get to you IF he does go to court then all you need to be prepared to do is offer him some kind of access but he certainly wont get full access. x

Posted on: August 27, 2012 - 8:39pm

mysonismyworld
DoppleMe

thankyou so much for all your support may what is parental responsibility? is that something he is garunteed to get? x

Posted on: August 27, 2012 - 10:26pm

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi mysonismyworld and welcome to One Space from me Laughing

Congratulations on the birth of your baby Smile

Here is an article on Parental Responsibility (click), to give you some information.

Please feel free to email our Legal Expert (click) for legal advice on where you stand.

Have you and he arranged regular contact, or does he just turn up when he wants? When is he due to visit the baby next?

It is good to read that you have support from your family.

Posted on: August 28, 2012 - 11:30am

mysonismyworld
DoppleMe

Thankyou, I Have Told My Family Nurse About All This Shes Advised Me To Get A Solicitor To Put My Mind At Rest xx 

Posted on: August 29, 2012 - 1:59pm

Anna
Online
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Excellent idea, while you wait for an appointment, you can still ask a question of our expert if you wish.

Let us know how it goes Smile

Posted on: August 29, 2012 - 6:02pm

mysonismyworld
DoppleMe

his exuse is im a young mum and i cant cope but anyone can see im a fantastic mum my baby is a smiley happy little boy and i just cant bare the thaught of anyone else having them, all this is stopping me from getting on with my live i cant go anywere im scared incase i see him and he trys and takes him :( xx 

 

Posted on: August 29, 2012 - 7:41pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I am sure your your nurse/health visitor will be able to reassure you about being a good mum so try not to worry and do get that solicitor appointment.

Posted on: August 30, 2012 - 8:17am