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thank you.
I wasn't too bad at the Chapel really, but MiLbroke down with the last hymn which was heartbreaking.
J read beautifully and so many commented on what he read. MiL's gradaughter sang. She broke down first try and then sang beautifully later.
I broke down in the crematorium.
We went to the house first. The Git came out to greet the children - usual drama... He asked where C was, and to be fair we did have a reasonable chat in the kitchen- not that I'd have given a monkies if he didn't understand.
I was sitting talking to Uncle-in-law then, and The Gittess and daughter went through wanting the loo. The Gittess shook my hand and asked how I was. Why?? MiL's daughter, C, noticed and almost ran to be next to me. I honestly can't get over how she horrid those texts were that she sent with The Git's 50th, I just can't. I should really, shouldn't I. MiL's daugher, A, said that she would never have guessed there was friction (yeah, right).
The Git was jolly, as predicted. Extra nice to everyone, lots of hugs for children... The Gittess did keep her distance, fair play (I honestly do try to be fair.) The uncle, aunt and cousins (about my age) were all lovely.
MiL made sure that we looked at the flowers and commented loudly on how FiL would have loved them 
Her daughters are staying for the weekend, so I'll go over and see them.
A new chapter has begun.
This thread may run for a while.
I did think of you all and your kind words today in the services. They really did help.
C has had a fabulous day at school and finished his materials and IT course work.
Need to go and find some bleach for my hand now.
Good for you, sparkling. Your hand will be fine with an extra soapy wash 
I am glad it helped to know we were all thinking of you 
I bet you were so proud of J, it was a lovely piece that you all wrote.
It's done now, and time for the new chapter. Forwards together...
Passing the bleach over to you 
Why should you forget those texts that the Gittess sent? She was horrid, and you didn't deserve those. I remember clearly how upset you were.
I'm so pleased the day went as well as could be expected. Well done to J, he's still so young to be reading at his Grandad's funeral, but he did you and FIL proud.
C can relax now that he's finished his bits and pieces too. Hope S has a great time tonight, and C tomorrow night. I have got them the right way round haven't I?
Glad you're okay after a stressful day. Well done you xxxxx
that's set me off again
the sun was shining here sparkling and all I could think was your FIL was smiling down at you and how kind you are and how much you meant to him.
A new day tomorrow and you have your lovely memories of him to keep you smiling.
We look forward to hearing about your new chapter x
Sending you some more hugs! It sounds like you coped very very well (especially in view of the Gittess - even though I don't know the whole story there!).
You are definitely a tough cookie. Take it really easy tonight and look after YOU. xxx
Hi sparklinglime, thank you for the update. It sounds as though on the whole the day went well. It also sounds like there are a lot of people in that family that think a lot of you.
I hope that you have a relaxing weekend all together as a family and when you go and see MiL. When does your ex leave town?
I believe he left today.
Overheard him telling route to his cousin (he was standing next to me, so not quite eavesdropping...) that included the M1.
Youngest came home poorly today - at 3pm, so he did well. I think its all been a bit tiring really.
Daughter has had an extension to her coursework after talking to the science teacher. I asked if they mentioned my email, but they didn't. She felt they were expecting the question though, so I guess they did pass the message on.
Hi sparkling I was thinking of you too! big hugs xx
Been up to see MiL today. Two of her daughter's are there - leaving tomorrow. We have had a lovely couple of hours.
Didn't take daughter as things can be less gaurded.
I have a bag of memorobilia in the car. I'll send the children up to get it after they've had their tea.
They've promised that if they feel they speak to their Mum and she's down to text me so I can "pop" over to see her.
Oh, I'm so pleased that you got to see them all, and that her daughters will text you if they feel she is down. At least they know they can rely on you Sparkling to keep an eye on her (so to speak) She is very lucky to have you around you know. So, more memories in a box eh. It's great for the children as well as you too. xx
Sure that MiL loves having you all so near, sparkling and her daughters will feel reassured you are there, HOWEVER (puts imanginary glasses on) if things are difficult and you go and help etc, make sure you bat it back to the daughters as well, remember how Hazeleyes' neighbour's son sort of thinks that H will do everything.....(glasses off)
As she is at the moment, she is very independant. She has been talking about selling up though to move to an area with a bus route and a shop (where they are now is a very small village and about three miles to the nearest bus stop...).
Will be in touch with the daughter in France on FB. The other two, I know, will come over often. MiL used to go to see them a lot too, and I know that will start to happen again.
I will bat it back at daughters though, if there is a need.
Oohh yes Louise, forgot about my neighbours. Have to say recently, I've not been doing too much for them. I did keep going on about how tired I was, what with work, things being done indoors, and C of course. It took a while, but I do think my little hints has taken effect.
Yes, do bat it back if it gets too much Sparkling
I've just dropped my MiL off at the station.
Her dear friend is moving away and so, next spring, she will sell up and move closer to her middle daughter.
I knew she would move closer to her. MiL had said she'd stay locally, but her close friends do seem to be moving closer to their families.
Her daughter is hoping to move to the borders, and I know it is an easy journey with a couple of Travelodges close by.
I've come home and have cried buckets.
Very, VERY selfish, as I know she'll be on the phone very often as I will be with her.
My children, even though they're getting older, will miss her too.
Time to adjust...
no sparkling you are not being selfish - you have a right to feel the way you do - sad as it may be
Hi sparkling
I know this will feel like another loss and while you have all been sad to see FiL pass away, whilst Mil was there, it was not the end of an era, whereas this will be just that. Cut yourself some slack and allow yourself to grieve. You have been a lovely daughter in law to them both
Hi Sparkling. Of course this is sad for you and the children. Please keep in mind though that she'll still be on the end of the phone, and hopefully there will be visits. This is the right move for her too, as you know already. It's another adjustment for you all, like you say, and yes it'll be hard, but you'll get through it, like you always do Sparkling. Before the spring comes, see as much of her as you possibly can. Thinking of you. xxx
I will.
I've always appreciated how lucky my lot have been too. I'll always be grateful to her for helping out with the children with Jill's funeral. The Git refused to help. She collected them from school and made them tea...
My lot have had her physical hugs every week while her other granchildren have had her support on the phone. It's time they had the physical hugs They're 13 and 10...
Pretty down today which doesn't help, but that's down to comments made about 'nothng in the house to eat'. Well, I'm broke! Deal with it
YEP, why is it that the fridge where any teenager lives always looks as if it has been savaged by a plague of locusts? I have a couple of tins of emergency baked beans hidden at all times
I know my youngest has even posted statuses on Facebook moaning that there is no food in the house, as if he is Oliver Twist or something. I always say that I could buy a whole barnload of food and he would still eat it in a week. At least now he is working at Asda he gets a cooked brunch for a couple of quid.
Mother-in-law arrived home today. I picked her up from the station and had a lovely hug. Stayed a while with her. She's going to stay local now - selling up but not away. She can't afford to go close to her daugher.
She seemed ok, but I know going home wasn't easy for her.
Another massive hug when I left - she was so glad I stayed a while.
I really did rabbit on about rubbish though while I was there!
You're a wonderful daughter in law. I bet she was delighted to see you Do you feel better now that she is staying in the area?
Mixed, if I'm honest, as I know she would like to move, but finances mean she can't.
It's still early days though and I know she is determined, but she did look sad...
Lovely to see her though
It's a really big change for her; it does sound a good idea to move anyway, even within the area.
MiL was saying she phoned The Git to say she'd chosen the cask for the ashes, and FiL to be buried with his youngest son in the local chapel. The Git said he won't be coming as he's said his goodbyes.
MiL can't understand why she's so hurt and shocked. She guessed he wouldn't come, but even so.
I don't understand why I couldn't speak and shed tears - I didn't cry, just the tears came.
He has told her they're struggling financially too, which isn't a surprise either...
Awww that's sad Sparkling, especially as it is his dad after all. I don't think I'll ever understand how some people are. xxxxxx
I suppose for the ones we love we always hope that 'the other ones' will at least try a little. :-(
Sending hugs to you! x
how sad
It's a time of big emotion all round, the upset you and MiL are feeling is to do with how hurt FiL was and would have been.
Big HUG, sparkling.
Love and warm hugs