Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Just talking on another thread about chatting things over with your children at the meal table and it reminded me of a topic I have been meaning to start.

What happens in your house at mealtimes? Do you eat on the run/round the table/in front of the TV? Do you each do your separate thing? Your younger children may have a much earlier teatime than you, so do you sit with them and make it into a sociable occasion? Do your teens get their food and scuttle off to their rooms?

The reason I am asking all these questions is that I believe so few families do sit down and eat together nowadays. When my boys were 9 and 14 I suddenly realised what separate lives we were all leading and decided that once a week we would eat together. Sunday lunch was the first time I chose but it could be anytime. Oh it was difficult, to make sue they were out of bed and dressed and turned up on time. The conversation felt stilted at first, I would chat to them about wrestling or football, nice neutral subjects but gradually this extended to things that were going on for them, things that had made them laugh etc, I suppose this was a way of doing the Quality Time we often discuss on here. Over a period of about a year, more family meals happened

When I talk to parents about this topic there are some negative replies:

"We all like different foods" That's ok, you can sit down together and eat different things

"They want the Tv on" Put some music on instead (of their choice) Maybe even sing along (maybe not, if their music is anything like my son's)

"Our routines are different, they come and go at all hours" Well you don't need to eat together every day, try once a week

"They don't want to sit down with me" This calls for some negotiating skills, maybe bargaining, their part of the deal is reasonably-behaved attendance at the weeekly family meal, your part is a lift to their friend's, or ironing their top, or staying up half an hour later.

We have a massive advantage in being single parents in that there is no other adult arriving at yet another different time, to cater for.

ANYWAY I have found great benefit in us eating together, it changed the atmosphere in our family and brought us closer and I do really recommend giving it a try, even in a small way

Posted on: November 22, 2013 - 9:07am
Hopeful
DoppleMe

I will try this - although maybe start with once a month! To get No3 son to join in is going to be difficult! The other two and I eat together quite a lot actually, and sometimes No1 son comes, too. 

Posted on: November 22, 2013 - 10:14am

She Ra

I have a negative reply to not eating at the table, I could not contain the mess or the pots omg not worth thinking about 

we eat every meal around the table one meal for everyone if they don't like it tough go hungry 

I understand family's adopting not eating together as life's busy etc but we do every day and lunch on Sundays 

mi go around and we all talk about our day things we liked/ didn't like I'm trying to teach little trio to learn to listen to each other hmmm not easy 

Posted on: November 22, 2013 - 11:22am

Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

We aim to all eat together everyday though sometimes theres an odd one missing.

Posted on: November 22, 2013 - 2:45pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Anna was telling me the other day about President Obama and his family playing Rose and Thorn at the table, each member of the family nominates the rose in their day and the thorn.

You're right about the pots, IDT, easier to keep it contained!

Posted on: November 22, 2013 - 3:35pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

It was so easy when they were younger. 

Now it does happen, but rarely.

I find the best way I can have a chat is to take them out for a ride, and they have to talk.  Cool

Posted on: November 22, 2013 - 7:32pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Yes older ones sometimes find it easier to talk when they don't have to look at you directly, eg you're driving somewhere together or doing a chore together

Posted on: November 23, 2013 - 11:48am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Anyone else got mealtime experiences/routines to share?

Posted on: November 27, 2013 - 8:17am