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Me and the boy

It might be horrendous yet!! And what sort of details do you want?

Posted on: June 28, 2009 - 10:02pm

sadsy

meandtheboy,
it will be the most fantastic cake - i would like picture too.

sy

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 2:28am

Me and the boy

Sy i am dreading making this cake as it is! I am worried it is going to go soooo wrong :(

I am going to make it whatever it takes. If i am capable of raising a child alone then i won't be letting a cake defeat me lol :D

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 7:57am

sadsy

meandtheboy,

how about a test run before the day, maybe not all the extras, but just base, or the part you are worried about?

Then you will enjoy making the final one so much more as most of it you will know.

hug for you

sy

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 8:04am

Me and the boy

I am worried about everything from getting the cake out of the tin, decorating it with the topping, adding all the extra bits and the boy actually approving!

The only bit i'm not worried about is making the sponges. I make lovely cakes :D

Collect the tin a week in advance so i have 6 days to practice!

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 8:08am

sadsy

meandtheboy,

he will love it I am sure.

hug sy

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 8:47am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

me and the boy

I was only suggesting details so we could cheer you on from the sidelines. No pressure, then ( :D ) I think you are fab to be doing this cake, I am so rubbish at things like that that my kids' party food mainly consisted of hot dogs. I remember one year when the boys were really into the Goosebumps horror stories, my boy made me get red and green fizzy drinks so that he could offer his guests a cup of "blood" or "slime" :?

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 10:42am

IfYouSeeHer

I'm sure the cake will turn out much better than my attempts. We got a microwave/convection oven combination thing when my oven broke as unfortunately I cannot afford a whole new oven. =[ When I first tried it out my first sponge came out perfectly, but when I made the second sponge (2 wouldnt fit at the same time) I ended up microwaving it instead. It was a cake flavour biscuit. I still ate it. =D

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 12:28pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

:lol: :lol:

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 2:19pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

IfYouSeeHer wrote:
I'm sure the cake will turn out much better than my attempts. We got a microwave/convection oven combination thing when my oven broke as unfortunately I cannot afford a whole new oven. =[ When I first tried it out my first sponge came out perfectly, but when I made the second sponge (2 wouldnt fit at the same time) I ended up microwaving it instead. It was a cake flavour biscuit. I still ate it. =D

That, actually, sounds very nice. :D

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 4:14pm

IfYouSeeHer

It burnt a little on the bottom, but nothing a quick scrape with a knife couldnt solve.
Fortunately the microwave didnt explode, which I'm very thankful for.

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 4:16pm

Me and the boy

I'm sure you can make sponge in the microwave, well steamed sponge at least. It's lovely with a dollop of jam in the bottom mmmm

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 5:33pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

Oh no. I want one now. 8-)

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 7:35pm

IfYouSeeHer

Yes, you can. I remember I made a chocolate one with chocolate sauce in home economics. Did it in a glass bowl though, rather than a metal cake tin and definitely didnt zap it for 25 minutes. =D

Posted on: June 29, 2009 - 7:42pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

You made a chocolate cake in the microwave in home economics at school! That seems very bizarre! I thought the who idea of home ec, was to create culinary queens/good wives! Not fast food in microwaves! What is the world coming to!!! :lol:

Posted on: June 30, 2009 - 11:47am

IfYouSeeHer

What's more bizarre is in our first year I remember they dedicated a whole term to the creation of sandwiches.

It's a good job my Grandmother had me in training to be the perfect housewife since I was 5 otherwise I'm sure I wouldn't stand a chance.

Posted on: June 30, 2009 - 1:09pm

Me and the boy

Sandwiches? How ridiculous! My family have always been big on raising you to cope alone and i have the same approach with the boy. He knows exactly where the washing machine is and he has his own play hoover and cleans up after himself haha

Posted on: June 30, 2009 - 3:47pm

IfYouSeeHer

My grandmother taught me to knit and sew and crochet and cook and clean. The whole shebang. It's thanks to her that I managed to support myself (just about) through college by making bags and clothes and selling them online. I don't so much have the time for that anymore, though I have taken up amigurumi lately (japanese crochet) and have been makingbaby lots of little toys and things. It's very relaxing and helps to take my mind off everything thats going on at the moment.

Posted on: June 30, 2009 - 4:59pm

Me and the boy

I wish i knew how to do something. My whole life has revolved around other peoples kids and now it revolves around mine :)

Posted on: June 30, 2009 - 7:19pm

IfYouSeeHer

Crocheting, and amigurumi especially is really easy. You can find loads of tutorial videos on youtube and things and patterns are really easy to read, I made a bunny for the little one last week and it took 3 hours altogether to do. It's one of those things which is easy to pick up and leave for a while and go back to. Plus haberdashers have usually got discontinued yarns on sale for about £1 each.

Posted on: June 30, 2009 - 8:29pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

I had never heard of amigurumi before today, have just had a look, how interesting. I think the hardest thing would be getting your head round the abbreviations such as "sc" (single crochet?)

I used to make those blankets for people and their kids, big crotchet squares and sew them together, very old fashioned but nice.

Hey, me and the boy, what about your cookery? much better than I could ever do!

Posted on: July 1, 2009 - 10:51am

Me and the boy

I love cooking but there is only so much you can do before the freezer is full and people have had enough of eating free cake lol.

Last week the man upstairs from me asked if i was maing scones any time soon so in amoungst looking after a poorly boy, cooking spaghetti bolognaise for dinner, washing, sorting unpackd boxes and cleaning i am going to bake some :)

Posted on: July 1, 2009 - 11:22am

IfYouSeeHer

Louise wrote:
I had never heard of amigurumi before today, have just had a look, how interesting. I think the hardest thing would be getting your head round the abbreviations such as "sc" (single crochet?)

I struggled with that a little at first, but once you've got the hang of it, it's pretty self explanatory. It took me a few attempts and some failed wooly cupcakes before I got it. I now have a cakestand filled with smileyfaced cupcakes on my kitchen table.

Posted on: July 1, 2009 - 12:45pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

me and the boy, is he not very well today? What a shame after you had such a lovely time together yesterday!

If you see her, don't get your cupcakes mixed up with me and the boy's scones! :lol: Do you find you can give your crotcheted animals as gifts? that would be lovely.

Posted on: July 1, 2009 - 8:18pm

IfYouSeeHer

My little sister's moved out into the big wide world so I crocheted some little multicoloured birds to hang from ribbons in her windows. I filled them with stuffing and a few drops of essential oils to make everything smell nice. She's only got a little bedsit so it really needed cheering up as much as possible.

Posted on: July 1, 2009 - 9:37pm

Me and the boy

Hi Louise, he has the las big back teeth on the move at the moment so making him feel a little grotty :(

Despite that i still took him out for a few hours. We went up to the fields with his butterfly catcher and ran through the fields looking for butterflies. We caught a few and he loved it! It also kept his mind off feeling poorly. Then we went to my mums so he could cool off in his pool.

Today he has a horrible cough from his teeth so hopefully with having cooler weather today it won't affect him much! In fact he just came running in with his butterfly catcher and shouted "lets go!!" Not a chance i'm afraid, looks like we are expecting more storms like we had last night!

If you see her you should try making things and selling them on ebay! you'd make a few quid here and there, even if it was just to help with the cost of nappies :)

Posted on: July 2, 2009 - 8:51am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

yes I was wondering about whether you could make a little sideline out of it, if you see her.

Hope your boy will improve through the day, me and the boy

I think we all need to batten down the hatches for these thunderstorms! :shock:

Posted on: July 2, 2009 - 9:49am

suzy1070

Hi,
My name is Suzy...
I am 40, and splitting with my second husband...
I have 3 beautiful children who are blithely
unaware of what is going on for now!
I feel like I need all the friends I can get right now!
Good to meet you all......

Posted on: July 6, 2009 - 7:33pm

sadsy

hello suzy1070,
really nice to meet you too.

Keep posting, there are lovely people here who have experience of most of the awful/good things in life. It takes a little while
to get replies. I hope you can wait a little.

Big huuug for you.

sy

Posted on: July 6, 2009 - 8:14pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi again suzy you are among friends and you are welcome to One Space :D Hold tight, it can be a bumpy ride. Let us know how things go and join in the threads, looking forward to getting to know you

Posted on: July 6, 2009 - 8:58pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi suzy1070, sorry to hear that you are splitting with you second husband, maybe third time lucky?? :D

I look forward to hearing your coping strategies! Glad to hear that the children are unaware of what is going on at the moment, although I imagine it is hard "keeping a brave face".

We are hear to support, talk or just a friendly ear for you to rant!

Posted on: July 7, 2009 - 12:22pm

vickstick34

I'm Vickie and I'm single mum to Carter who is 5. I split from my husband because we grew apart. I still have a great relationship with my ex, he is great with our son and we even hang out together (he cooked us all lunch on monday!)
I wanted you all to know that there are some ok exes out there. I read all the posts on here and they made me cry. I am so lucky that my ex is still my best freind. I hope my situation can give you hope. It hasnt always been that way. The first few months were very difficult, but we worked through it to get to where we are now. I know that things like this cannot happen in all situations, especially with abusive relationships, but I hope you will be encouraged to know that some ex partners can be good people.

Posted on: July 25, 2009 - 11:11am

sadsy

hello Vickie,
how did you get from the difficult first few months to the good bit you're at now?

I'm at low point with relations with ex (it's 5 weeks since she go with children to new partner) and wondered if there was anything I could try? :roll:

sy

Posted on: July 25, 2009 - 11:23am

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

vickstick34 wrote:
I'm Vickie and I'm single mum to Carter who is 5. I split from my husband because we grew apart. I still have a great relationship with my ex, he is great with our son and we even hang out together (he cooked us all lunch on monday!)
I wanted you all to know that there are some ok exes out there. I read all the posts on here and they made me cry. I am so lucky that my ex is still my best freind. I hope my situation can give you hope. It hasnt always been that way. The first few months were very difficult, but we worked through it to get to where we are now. I know that things like this cannot happen in all situations, especially with abusive relationships, but I hope you will be encouraged to know that some ex partners can be good people.

I do know a few parents who are separated and who do get on brilliantly. I do envy them, and so hoped that The Git and I could have had the same. I just think those who don't have problems don't often post on forums.

I like to think I did all I could to make it easy - and to be fair, the first year or so was ok. I'm sure he'd say otherwise though!

sy - your situation is different as you didn't want to end the relationship. I think it must take longer to get over that shock. You need to be kind to you. To be honest, in the last five weeks, you've had to cope with so much other than this, and the strides you've made in coping are immense. I am incredibly proud of how you're doing.

Posted on: July 25, 2009 - 12:06pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Vickie that's brilliant that you still get on well with your boy's dad :) I know a few people that it works for, but not many. I had a very amicable arrangement with my son's dad for the first couple of years. I wouldn't say we were friends but I did it for the sake of the boys. Sadly, it didn't last.

Sy, you are a long way from being able to be friends with Louise, it is too early for that to be possible. Also, the "will" to be friends has to come from both sides. The best that YOU can do is not to criticise her to the children and to protect them from the details of what is going on as far as is possible (not all that far, I know!)

Posted on: July 25, 2009 - 12:14pm

vickstick34

Louise, u r right. Both parties have to be willing to be friends and thats what it was with us. Like I said we had a difficult few months, because I was feeling totally broken (he left me, but we were both feeling the same) but I got to the point where I felt that there were worse things that could happen to me in life than being on my own, and since we had a child together it wasnt worth being nasty to each other. We talked at length alot of times and eventually found that we worked better as friends than as husband and wife. We are even planning a trip to london to take Carter to the natural history museum, and also a trip to legoland! We still tell each other everything and make sure that our respective other halves know that we are friends and nothing will change that.

Posted on: July 25, 2009 - 5:48pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I honestly do think that's brilliant! The trip will be great, I'm sure.

Posted on: July 25, 2009 - 6:07pm

Pansy

Hi Suzy,
I'm Paula 42 & have split with husband 3 wks ago, he walked out on me & 3 children of 15, 13 & 9 to another woman. we were together 17 yrs! I'm sorry it has happened a 2nd time to you. I hope you will feel you can post here when you are down, & also read others posts, it is a great help & people on here are brilliant!

Vickie, It is so nice to hear you can be good friends with your husband! If anyone had asked me if I thought I would still be friends with him if we split I would have said 'yes' but now it has happened I am not sure, he is acting not to nice at the moment, I hope that will change. well done vickie :D

Posted on: July 25, 2009 - 8:13pm

clara

hi im clara
i have three boys and live in bristol

Posted on: August 14, 2009 - 8:32am

Pansy

Hi again Clara,
three boys! how old are they all? Bristol about 1.5 hr from me, I only go there ever for Ikea :lol: & always got lost going through Bristol! :x but noe there is one in Southampton :D
Pansy

Posted on: August 14, 2009 - 8:37am

mousie

hi everyone new, sorry been away on hols so not kept up!!
my beautiful daughters 4th birthday tom 1st one since HE left so not sure how I'm feeling - excited for her but also sad as I think she deserves better - she really is the happiest, smiliest, easiest little person I have ever met. The other day she said to me 'Don't be sad mummy, you have me and James (her older brother) and we don't need him' where did that come from!! but of course she is right so young but so wise! :lol:
suzy - my 2nd husband as also just left me so your not alone, I am 41 and have 3 children also

Posted on: August 14, 2009 - 2:11pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi mousie

Hope your little daughter has a lovely birthday!

Posted on: August 14, 2009 - 3:45pm

sparklinglime
DoppleMe

I'm sure you'll give you daughter a wonderful birthday.

Posted on: August 15, 2009 - 4:58pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Clara

You mention that you live in Bristol, do you know SPAN Study Centre, it is a great place where single parents come together for activities, courses and friendship. To find out more look at the their webpage: http://www.spanuk.org.uk/index.php?page=study-centre

Posted on: August 17, 2009 - 11:16am

clara

i have a 9 , 7 and 21 month old ,they are very lively . i have not heard of span thankyou for suggesting it .

Posted on: August 17, 2009 - 10:02pm

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Clara, there is a great creche at the Study Centre (and if you do pass by you can pop in and say hallo to me!!)

Posted on: August 19, 2009 - 2:00pm

moth

Hi I'm the Moth, I have 3 children, two boys 20 and 18yrs, and one daughter 14yrs.

I'm struggling at the moment, my husband left me a month ago and have just started divorce proceedings. Anyone out there going through the same thing.

Posted on: August 15, 2011 - 11:04am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello Moth

You are very welcome to One Space!

There are many of us who have been through similar and everyone is at different stages with our "single parenthood"

I am sorry to hear you are struggling, there are so many things to think of all at once aren't there? The main four practical things you need to cover are:

Housing, where will you live?

Money, what will you live on?

Legal advice, you are getting this

Children, what arrangements for them to see the other parent (may be less of a worry for you as they are older and can presumably have independent contact with their dad)

Of course there are other issues as well as the practical ones, how you are feeling in amongst all of this, for one. Have you got some supportive family or friends to talk to? How are the children being with regard to the break up?

Posted on: August 15, 2011 - 12:15pm

Mich
DoppleMe

I'll post here too,( I have already posted a thread in the separation and Divorce section).

I'm Mich and live in Hove.My husband first cheated on me a year ago( we've been together 21 years, married for 15). I forgave him, as he said it was a one off, and he didn't know why he did it, and everyone deserves a second chance.

We were on holiday two weeks ago, and I read an email to a woman that he had gone out with 25 years ago, and had gone off with his best mate, but she's now minted, and he wanted to be with her.

I'm trying to keep it together, as I have a 15 ( next month) year old daughter.

Today I feel down as the other night he took her to dinner, and just went on about his new woman, and how they were planning ahead. HE is happy, and I fell like I am sinking....

Today just seems a bit overwhelming....I'd like to know more about Gingerbread groups here, as I'd like to meet up with other people in my situation too.

But thanks for listening...

Posted on: September 6, 2011 - 10:21am

Anna
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi Mich have you heard of SPIN? (Single Parent Information Network) based in Brighton. Have a look at their website, there are some opportunities to meet up and go to adult events for free and a multitude of other stuff.

Click here to find Gingerbread groups

Posted on: September 6, 2011 - 11:27am