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Ermm... Hello everyone!


Hi.. I'm A, a full time single dad to 2 lovely kids (sometimes three - my 15 year old has just decided to go live with his mum).  I live near Wakefield, West Yorkshire.

I have a boy (8) and a girl (11) and look after them full time.  I do work (company director).... well when I can get back, as I recently had a serious illness after a DVT from a work flight. This mean I have been off work for a few months.  I'm now bored out of my tiny mind...but it will be quite a while yet before the doc's allow me to return.

I haven't had a great deal of luck with relationships.  My kids mum ran off with the woman next door (no, not like that.... more Shirley Valentine style) after a 12 year marriage.  My second wife ran off with my best friend about 18 month ago, and my most recent relationship failed due to simple old incompatibility.

So.... I find myself as a full time single dad, and have joined this group in the ohpe that I can learn new things, get a little help and advice and hopefully chat with people in similar positions to myself.

I really look forward to talking to you all!

Posted on: July 18, 2011 - 2:32pm

Hi sank99

Good to see you here Smile

I've got four - although they are all getting on a bit now at 19, 17, 15 and 12!  They're all on holiday now from high school, and eldest from college.

And it's raining!! 

I can't comment on relationships.  I've had one since my divorce (coming up to 7 years ago) and am now firmly single!!

Look forward to getting to know you. 

Posted on: July 18, 2011 - 3:10pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi sank99

Welcome to One Space! 2 sometimes 3 children? How do you enjoy singleparenthood? It sounds as though you have had some knocks, but you still have your sense of humour. The Shirley Valentine quip made me laugh out loud!

You say you have been off work now for a few months and it sounds as though you aren't able to get back any time soon? What are you doing with yourself? Are you able to walk? Are your children helping out?

Your eldest has gone to live with his mum, are you happy with his decision? Is he living close enough to still see him regularly?

So many questions! Do your other two miss their older brother?

Posted on: July 18, 2011 - 4:47pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello from me too, sank99, you are very welcome here and you will find lots of friendly online support.

I am one of the Moderators of the board, along with Anna. My boys are now 21 and 16 and so I have lots of experience of single parenthood.

One of my favourite books EVER is called "Are you the one for me" and invites you to look at relationships you have had, some of us have been reading it on here, I don't know if that sort of book appeals to you? I do waffle on about it, rather.

Sorry to hear ypu have been ill, that must have been very scary and I am glad to know you are on the mend Smile

Posted on: July 18, 2011 - 4:55pm


Hello sank99. Welcome along. I have just the one son, 8 (going on 18). Glad to hear you're feeling better than what you were. When do the children break up for the holidays? Are you planning on days out, or are you not able to do anything yet? Look forward to getting to know you.

Posted on: July 18, 2011 - 5:15pm


Nice to meet you all!.  Apologies for the spelling mistakes in my first post.  My fingers are dyslexic. 

Only polite to answer questions asked... so....

My eldest son has always been quite a 'challenge' but he decided he didn't like any household rules (like not stealing from my wallet!), so after he was confronted with this, he decided that he wanted to go live at his mum's for a while.  It's not ideal, as she lets him do what he wants, but in another 8 months I wouldn't be able to prevent him anyway.  They only live about 5 minutes away, but he refuses to have anything to do with me.  I'm sure that this will change in time.  The other kids miss him, but see him most weekends at their mum's house.

I'm enjoying single parenthood to some extent, but really struggling when the kids aren't around.  Just keeping busy. I'm feeling physically fine now, but the doctor wants me to take it really easy for a good while as I had clots on BOTH lungs.  Ah well.  It WAS quite scary tbh.... especially as the doctor said 'well done!, most people don't MAKE it to casualty'.  lol.

Kids break up from school this Thursday (21st July).  Planning a week's holiday later in August but am struggling to find travel insurance.  One thing I HAVE found is that it seems more expensive to travel as a single parent than a couple with kids!!!!

All in all, I'm reasonably happy with my lot though. I did a bit of travelling in the far east after my first divorce and it really showed me that no matter how bad things seem, there are millions who have it much,much tougher.  I can't do with being miserable.....it has a tendency to put a downer on my day and cause me to reach for the gin :-))).

Posted on: July 19, 2011 - 2:07pm



I used the Post Office travel insurance recently - although I must add that my travelling adventures are never out of the UK!!  I'm such an unadventerous soul.

It sounds very scary what you've been through, and taking things easy sounds sensible to me.


Posted on: July 19, 2011 - 2:39pm


Hi sank, I'm sure your son will be in touch with you sooner rather than later. No idea of travel insurance, sorry.

Posted on: July 19, 2011 - 4:19pm

Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi sank99

You are right I am sure your relationship with your son  will change over the years. Is he more like you or your ex? It sounds as though he doesn't like being told what to do, or not allowed to do! (A teenage trait methinks!) and has decided that being with his mum might well be an easier ride? Do you know why he stole from you? Would he steal from his mum? How would she deal with this? 

It is good to hear that he gets to see his siblings still. Are you taking all 3 on holiday? I am sure he wouldn't want to miss out on anything exciting! Where are you going? I too use the Post Office travel insurance.

Do you have many friends locally? Are they marrieds or independant of children? It is so important for us as single parents to create a bit of a life seperate from the children, not only does it mean we look forward to the break from them (if we get a chance), but it also means that we broaden our horizons and keeps us in the real world and also our children learn how to reach out and do more than just be at home.

So you travelled in the middle east, I bet that was amazing! You are so right, when we visit poverty ridden countries we can recognise that actually we are pretty damn all right over here, yeah there is heartache and pain, but on the grand scale of things, the majority of us are looked after and catered for, so that we can provide a safe environment for our children to grow up in. If only all youngsters could have that experience and realise how lucky they are!

Whatever you do though sank99, don't reach for the gin!! Ha ha, I now understand why it is called mothers ruin! I went through a phase of reaching for it and the next day I was SOOO grumpy!

It sounds like you are a tough ole boot, managing to survive something so serious as clots on both lungs! Even though you feel like conquering the world, something has come along to make you rest and take stock. Enjoy this time and start thinking about new things you may want to introduce to your life perhaps?

Posted on: July 20, 2011 - 3:14pm



I'm a single dad too and have been for six and a half years now, mine are seven and six, very nearly seven and eight. We haven't seem their mum for two and a half years.

I like being a single parent... in fact I love it!

That book mentioned above is quite good, but just reaffirmed to me that I'm better off alone until my kids grow up, and do what ever it is they are going to do anyway, and then I can get back to all my hobbies full time.

: )

Posted on: July 21, 2011 - 10:40am