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hi i am looking for some advice
my son who is 2 has contact every wed and 1 day every weekend, saturday one weekend sunday the next
He has now decided that he wants him over night every week and i feel he is too young.
he has threatened to take me to court to get a contact order. He was absent from my sons life for the first 5 months of his life so obviously isnt on his birth certificate and also provided no support for his son
I am worried now that a court will grant over night contact
can any one give me any advice
Thanks for your reply
I wouldnt get any help regarding child support as he doesnt work
I have sent an email to the legal expert to see what they say
I just feel that my little one is too small he cannot voice his opinions or even tell me if he is unhappy at the min and feel that i am being bullied into granting overnight contact
thank you
Hello rmcquillan
If the childs father is not on the birth certificate or married to you he has no legal parental responsibility look at the parental web site guide on the goverment web site.
You may need to get something down in legal terms agreed to help you both know where you stand.
thanks for your reply
I think i am going to wait and see what happens from here
Do you happen to know how old a child has to be before a judge would grant over night contact
this is off a familt law website
A child has a right to contact with both parents. It is primarily the child’s right, not the parent’s. The amount of contact and the timing will depend on the child’s age and the practical arrangements. Typical examples for contact with the parent with whom the child does not live could look as follows:
I just dont know if this is set in stone
Hi rmcquillan, as the website that you quoted from states, the above is a 'typical' example, so just guidelines for judges etc.
There would be a lot of factors to consider in this case. If your sons father had been in his life consistently from the beginning and they had a close bond then, I am sure that you would feel more comfortable with overnight stays, however you say that he was absent for the first 5 months.
How does your son seem after a visit? How well do you and your ex communicate?
he was absent for the first 5 months of the babies life becuase he decided when was pregnant that he Didn't want the baby but if I wanted to keep the baby then that was down to me! For the first 18 months when he was seein the baby he saw him week in week out because I took him and picked him up again! Every time the subject of over night contact came up an he was told no he would lash out become angry an threaten both me and even my dad! All this is documented with the police! I decided that if he anted to see the baby he could make the effort to come and get him and bring him bck to my dads! It is now hit and miss if he turns up on a weekend now to see him! on top of all this he suffers from epilepsy and hs fits
Hi Liverpool Mamma
OK so let's see what legal advice you get and you can take it from there. As Anna says, there is nt "set" age for overnight visits and it does depend on the relationship.
I had this same issue with my daughters father, however he is on birth ceft so I contacted 3 different lawyers for advise. ALL of them said courts say over night stays isn't Nessareary until the child is 5 years of age and weather or not the other parent has PR it's up to the main career where the child stays over night...I understand all situations are different so courts may suggest over night visits but it can not be forced until over the age of 5.....I questioned this statement myself so contacted the legal advice on this site and they stated the same.....my ex has not tried to force it anymore so I'm guessing he was also told this
hello and thank you for your reply am worried sick over this! I hold my hands up and say my son is a mammas boy but he is bound to be he spends all his time with me out of the last 10 weeks his dad has only come for him twice of a weekend! is that million percent true than the courts cannot force over night contact untill his is 5???
Hi Liverpool Mamma, it can not be taken for granted about the courts not enforcing overnight contact until the child is 5, all courts and judges are different. Did you hear from the legal expert yet?
I'm not sure if its 100% true ! however I was told this by several lawyers AND the legal expert, but as I said it also depends on the situation and courts do suggest/encourage over nights IF the child has a healthy relationship with the other parent.
I would suggest you contact legal advis via this site or a local lawer to see where visits stand in YOUR situation as every family is different x
I haven't had am email as yet but am having trouble with this phone so I'll have a look on the laptop later and if I haven't had a respose I'll send another email x
Hello Liverpool Mama.
Why do you even need to go to court about something as simple as this? He’s the daddy of your wee boy and wants more involvement – you should be happy rather than even thinking about courts.
Dad’s are important! I am one and have worked out a good schedule with my ex (in fact, we are very flexible in either way, I have them as often as possible), which is how it should be – it’s all about the kids, no?
While your ex OH may have not have been interested in the beginning he is now - you should be happy about this and grant this wish – not for him – not for you - but for your little boy – your boy is lucky he has a dad that cares (eventually) – I haven’t seen mine for 25 years and I do miss him!
Put your personal differences aside – this isn’t about you – let your Son be with his dad!
Love
And
Hi Liverpool Mamma
I will send a message to the office to get them to chase up what has happened to your response from the legal expert.
It can take up to 4-5 working days to hear back from our expert so that could be why it seems to be taking a while.
Appeland, this is all over valid points however a father (any parent) can not pick & chose when they want to be parents! They cant just suddenly decide to be involved and expect the parent/child to forget the past, that isnt reality. contact with both parents is very important for the child & the child's needs should be all that matters However in some cases if the child isn't around the parent much then over night isn't always the best thing and shouldn't be rushed.
my LO only sees her father twice a month (if lucky) for a few hours as that's all the time he wanted, he lives far away & my LO has health issues , so why her father asked for over night visits I said no as it would destress her & he pays no intreast in her on visits so could u imagin an over night visit- in some cases it just isn't a good idea
im a strong believe that having both parents depends on the situation...that goes for both sexes (full time mums or full time dads) each case is different but yes your right if the other parent is making a good, lasting effort them both parents should try to work together & sort out a private agreement
Hi appeland
I think that it is important for children to have both parents in there lives, unfortunately things do not always work out that way for many reasons.
I don't think that Liverpool Mamma is trying to stop all contact, she just has concerns about over night contact.
Hello Tinkerbell.
I think you may be wrong in part of your post, but have some valid points in others.
You are obviously female too and cannot creep into some guys mind, which I can, because I think the same way.
The fella in question has obviously had the shippers when the baby has been born but has now come around to pick up the responsibility of being a dad (heads up to him – good man!). I fully understand why he took a few month to come round in this situation – bear bit of time to the male mind please, we are stupid beings that just need a few slaps every now and again, and someone/something has obviously done that!
He hasn’t done anything wrong yet (besides leaving adorable “Liverpool Mama”) and the little lad seems to be happy too. May I suggest a test weekend or two to try it out?
Love
Andi
hi appleland I have all kinds of issues with overnight contact the main one being that he is epileptic and takes fits! also its hit or miss if he turns up of a weekend these days! I have offered alternatives like an extra day in the week if its more contact he's after! He is a bully and when he doent get his own way will threaten me an even my dad (which is documented with the police) Am not sayin never all am just saying wait a little while untill me LO can make his own mind up! want to know my LO is happy staying with him yet he let me ring to speak to him when he's with him an says that ring him if and when he has him over night which terrifies me and is one of the main reasons that I cannot let him have him over night my LO could be in floods of tears an I would not no
Not all guys think the same appeland...that's like me saying all females think the same- we don't! .....male or not u can't just decide when your going to play a roLE in your child's life.....so if some one decides not to see their child for 3 years that's ok coz they are a bloke? - how can not supporting your child/mother of your child during the first months of life mean he's not doing anything wrong? I think we will just have to agree to disagree on this one lol
not only was he abesnt from my LO life for the first 5 months he left me when was pregnant! last time the subject over over night contact came up! he washed his hands of my LO he said if he have him over night then he did not want him at all! not exactly the actions of a loving understanding father! he provides no support for his son and never has! he does not deserve to call himself his dad!
Have had an email off the legal expert advising that a judge may think it is in my LO best intrests to have over night contact!
hi hun u do wots best for u and ur child, CONTENT MODERATED, dont blame u for bein worried, i wud b, he does sound a bully, dont giv in to him, my ex isnt allowed contact at all as he as violent criminal past, ididnt no bout it til i went court, and tht he as secret life, u do wot u think best hunx
Hi Liverpool Mamma
What the legal expert was saying was that there is no hard and fast rule. The circumstances would be taken into consideration.
Hello rmquillan
The provision of child support and the question of parenting time with a child re two completely separate questions. However, if you have the mian day to day care of your son then you are entitled to claim child support. Have a look at this website (click) for details.
As far as overnight contact goes, it would be a good idea to have a word with our legal expert. Myself I think he is too small but click here to send the legal expert an email