Hello all, this is the first time I have been on a website like this. I am a single parent for the second time. I suffered domestic violence in my marriage of 13 years, then met my now ex partner and suffered the whole thing all over again, I was with him for 9 years. I have 4 kids, 3 who live with me. My reason for looking for this kind of support is that I have purposely avoided dealing with my experiences over the last 20 odd years, hoping it would just fade away into the dim and distant past. But here I am, trying to now deal with all I have been through. This is my first tentative step to reach out and see if I can find some sort of recovery, and to learn who I really am and to try and accept that what has happened to me has shaped who I am today, and I have to tell you, I do not like myself, always give myself a hard time and don't talk to anyone about the whole traumatic affairs of my life because I haven't been able to until now. That's it for now, I hope to hear from you all soon.
Hi Louise, thanks for your reply. I have started to look at the freedom programme and I never realised how common DV is. Reading other comments from people who are going through this right now brings back lots of memories for me. I still feel raw about it. I have spoken to a counsellor and think I am going to give it a try and see how it goes. I do see my kids dads still from time to time, and that's tough, I have so much anger when I see them which can stress me and the kids out. I am taking baby steps, one at a time and never thought I would still be struggling with the way I feel after all these years. It really does help reading others stories and thanks.
So glad you are finding this site helpful, Melsibob. Good lcuk with the counselling, take it slowly as you said, and don't be afraid to open up to the counsellor and really get to grips with what has happened.
Hello Melsibob and welcome to One Space. I hope you can tell from reading some of the other threads, what a friendly and supportive place you have found
A big well done to you for facing up to all of this (I know it's hard) and I know one of the most challenging things is that this has happened to you twice. I have to tell you, though, that this does happen quite often, mainly because abuser number one has left you in a vulnerable place and with low self esteem and struggling to judge what IS ok and what IS normal.
Do you have any contact with the two guys? Do the children see their father(s)?
I wonder if you have looked at our Freedom Programme online (click) This is a course which will help you make sense of what you have been through and know that you are not alone. The good news is that that are many people on here (both men and women) who are rebuilding and have rebuilt their lives after abuse.
It is very important and helpful to talk about what has happened and that is one thing we can help with, although you may also choose to see a counsellor. Did you have any support from Women's Aid at the times of separation?
Lots of questions, but look forward to getting to know you and supporting you at this time