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just opened mail & there it is. am shocked how I reacted, burst into tears! 
why do we cry for something we want, asked for & are happier for?
I know I am happier now, I can do what I want, when I want & am my own person.
I suppose it's for what was, has happened & what should have been but wasn't?
Don't worry I'll be swinging from the lights later & buzzing with my freedom! 
actually maybe not the lights 
could be dangerous & would never take my weight!
How has everyone else reacted who have been divorsed? I'd be interseted to know.
Oh! & apparently now I have to make or change will to appoint a guardian for the children!
in the event of my death if I would not want ex to care for children, the guardian would have parental responsibility for the children & would therefore give them the rights& responsibilitys & obligations which, my law a parent of a child has. The guardian would therefore have more say in the children's lives than if they had not been appointed in the will. This does not mean that the children would automatically go to reside with the guardian as if there is a dispute, the court would have to decide.
there is always something else to do, I don't really know what to do about that?
Pansy
Hi Pansy, big hugs for you. I agree with Sparkling. I'm guessing your tears were tears of relief, but I guess tears as well for all that you wanted out of the relationship in the beginning, if that makes sense. I am so pleased for you that now the divorce is through, you can now really move forward. I've never gone through this, but perhaps even though it's what you wanted, in a way, it's a bit like a bereavement.
Hope tomorrow you are feeling so much better
x
Hello Pansy
Getting divorced is a massively stressful experience. Tears are a natural reaction, from relief, from releasing the stress and most of all as part of the mourning process, you have finally got the acknowledgement that something you were once so hopeful of, has gone for good. I remember the feeling very well myself and the feeling cross with myself for feeling like that! I know now that it was important just to let myself go through those feelings as part of the healing process, and it will be that way for you too.
As far as the guardian thing goes, in reality they would probably have to live with their dad but you can appoint a guardian to be involved. See here for our leaflet about this issue. Any will you have made will also be negated by the divorce so you need to think about this, too. As you say, there's always something!
I soon felt better believe me!!
It helped that on that day I had the most terrible time trying to sort out contact arrangments & it ended with him calling me a shouting & swearing abuse down the phone at me! And YES I did get it on tape. Have quite a bit to tell but better put it on other threads I think. Have not got much time as I'm trying to have fun & relax time, so will post more when I get & moment.
Luckily BF turned up for the wk/end in the evening of that day which helped, I had only just had the abuse from ex when he turned up, so was nice to have him there.
Pansy
Well Pansy it just goes to show that you are right to have done it all. Hope you and BF have a nice weekend 
Dearest pansy
Congratulations on your Divorce. I am so glad that your ex proved that Divorce was the way to go by showing his true colours on the phone.
It must be a tough time, however it sounds as though you are feeling better now and freedom is the future!
Glad to hear that your weekend was cheered up by bf and hope you had a good one together.
I think the mourning period is important though, so when you do feel low, express it, cry a little and pat yourself on the back for all you have been through and survived!
Just want to add my favourite saying here (sorry to everyone who has heard it from me time and time again, I just feel its appropriate - and ALWAYS makes me smile!):
It's better to have loved and lost, than to live with the psycho the rest of your life!
Tee hee, that always cheers me up! 
yes & what a PSYCHO he is too!
THANK GOD HE IS GONE!!!!!!!
I think the emotion is because
1) it's over
and
2) it's the reality that all those hopes and dreams are gone. Personally, I found I couldn't help but go back over the whole 20 years thing...
I did have a gaurdian appointed in my Will, but was told that realistically, their father would have been given custody. Now my eldest is 18, he is named as gaurdian in my will, and the chances are this would be granted in view of him being an older sibling, and because the youngest is now 11 and quite "old" too.
When youngest is 18, I'll be relieved!
Congratulation on your divorce.
You have every right to feel emotional.
Mine has the date of our 20th wedding anniversary, which I found helped, as it seemed 'meant to be'.