earreys

i have been married for 8 years, happily or so i thought? we have the most amazing 6yr old son. my husband goes for a drink on a saturday last saturday he didnt come home,hed spent the night at his ex"s although he insisted nothing happened?we had a blazing row and i kicked him out. for our sons sake on tuesday i invited him around to do bath/bedtime routine with our son, whilst he was bathing him his phone beeped with a text from a "stuart?" he has no friends by this name so i looked, it was message after message from another woman, basically talking about their affair. i kicked him out for good he has since been sleeping in his car.i am just distraught. we have a mortgage i only work part time am entitled to chil tax credit but hardly anything i just dont know what to do. im so sad and worried, ive not slept all week i cant eat. i would be so grateful for any advice.

Posted on: May 9, 2013 - 9:27pm
GoodEnoughMum
DoppleMe

Hi earreys

I'm so sorry to hear you are in this awful position.  I'm afraid I don't know anything about the financial side of things when you own a house but I'm sure the moderators will put you on to something good when they next come on.

It's late now but I just wanted to say hi and that i'm thinking of you in case you came back on the board tonight.

Gem

Posted on: May 9, 2013 - 10:48pm

bethbethbethy

hi im sorry to hear about your situatuon.

as a fellow single mum i will try to shed whatever light i can on what you should be entitled to.

im not sure how many hours you work so entitlement could differ but i found the best way seems to be to work 16 hours per week, this is what i do and i will list what help i get.

16hrs @ minimum wage 

£134 weekly (tax ± working tax credits)

£280pm housing benefit 

Posted on: May 10, 2013 - 1:15am

bethbethbethy

my rent is £550pm (we never owned a house so im not sure what would happen in your case)

my ex is currently unemployed so im not entitled to any child support but if you get in touch with the CSA they will keep you right.

i know it probably seems scary going it alone but you will be fine and your son will not go without. there is always fresh healthy food in our fridge, new clothes when needed and toys when they see something they just love. Yes it will probably require a slight lifestyle change but you wont have to move to an awful council estste and eat fish finger sandwiches for the rest of your days, i promise. You can do it.

Posted on: May 10, 2013 - 1:48am

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hello earreys and welcome along

What a horrible shock for you to make this discovery, and to find that your husband is not the person you thought he was. It takes a while to get your head together when something like this happens and I hope you are looking after yourself as well as you can. Do try to eat, even if it is something very small like a banana or a piece of toast. You have your son to look after and you need to garner your strength.

On to practicalities, there is a lot to think about, not least housing and money. This article here (click) might help you to focus on things. I would also encourage you to get some legal advice pretty soon to help you see the way forward, especially with regard to the house.

There is loads of information and support on here so stay with us and we can help you along Smile

Posted on: May 10, 2013 - 7:26am