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So,
iv'e been close with my partner for a while, we've been friends for years and now we';ve decided we're actually more than that. The situation is very easy going and he's good with my son and vice versa. Hes very helpful and understanding etc etc.
However, i'm finding my wall is going up BIG TIME as im so used to being on my own. I find, al of a sudden, i want to spend time with my son alone .. and make a point of doing so. I'm finding it difficult to accept how helpful my partner is e.g. around the home/garden as im so used to doijg it myself. It sounds ungrateful, but actually im finding it all overwhelming.
Im also finding it hard to balance my time, between me time, son time, and partner time. Oh - and work etc. Any tips here would be good, but also any tips related to letting somebody back into your life after past hurt would be good also. IM finding i need to tak very small baby steps at the mo .. and its all a bit too much!!"!!
Hi pink lilly
I think you have answered your own question, you need to take baby steps at the moment! You are used to doing things on your own and it is very important that your son gets individual time with you.
Has your partner moved in? Is that why you are feeling overwhelmed? What has changed recently that has made you feel a bit anxious?
I completely understand, I just can't imagine letting somebody into our little unit. My friends sometimes talk about me meeting someone who will be a part of our family and just the thought of it makes my walls go flying up, haha.
Baby steps are definitely the way forward. it *is* important that we push ourselves outside of our comfort zones sometimes too - but there will come a point when you can feel that you are ready to do that.
There's no rush, and if he's a decent bloke - and he sounds like he is - he will understand and be happy to go at your pace. :)
I've been seeing my friend for seven months now and I'm still taking baby steps - but hopefully having a loads of laughter while taking them...
My children are quite grown up now, with my youngest being 15. I know that makes things a lot easier.
My friend is quite happy taking the babysteps too, having been married twice before. So long as you're enjoying life.
My very best wishes.
You have to take things at a pace that you are comfortable with, sounds like your baby steps are they way to go, do you do the jobs together or will he just get on and do it without you? i found that if i was involved it made the process easier and eventually i did not mind letting go of some stuff.