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Hi, I am a single mother to two amazing nearly four year old twin boys. Today in conversation one said to a friend I dont have a dad, he does however but his has never been around. I dont no what to say to them, or how to approach this situation???????/
Hello cbokinsey and welcome along.
Gem is right, you don't have to wade in straight away and correct him as such, but the time will come, and maybe very soon, when one of them asks "WHY don't I have a daddy?" and this may even happen when other children are there so it's great to be prepared. Read our article about talking to children about an absent parent...click here.
One of our parents on here, who has an older child, got round this by explaining that daddy was not ready to be a daddy and could not stay with him. Obviously your boys are too small for this now but once they are older and trying to figure out the why of it all, this might help too. It's certainly really important to acknowledge any feelings your children may have. Say things like "you sound angry" or "I understand you feel sad and I feel sad too" and to reassure your boys that you will ALWAYS be there (one thing children may worry about is that if one parent has left them, the other might too)
Hope this has given you some helpful starting points 
Thankyou for your advice, their father was violent and we havent seen or spoke since my pregnancy, he knows of them and his father (their grandad) visits at christmas. He has never tried to make contact. Im really just trying to get prepared for whats ahead, there are many more single parents these days and I have alot of support from my family :-)
Hello it sounds as if his absence is a blessing in many ways, if he was violent. The article will also help you think about talking with your boys about this.
I was wondering if you have had some support following the abusive relationship? Have a look at The Freedom Programme (click)
I tend to think it's best to be honest, but to just answer the questions they ask. Children are very smart in this way - like Gem said, them thinking that they just don't have a dad is probably a much easier thing to make sense of for a small child. When they are ready to know more, they will ask for more.
Good luck x
Hi cbokinsey
Welcome to the boards. I don't know what is best to do in this situation.
What I do know is that my instinct is always to put every misunderstanding to rights immediately but this has not always been best for my boys.
One thing that might seem obvious but that I always forget at the time is you don't have to fix it right away. If he goes on thinking inaccurate things for a bit longer it doesn't really matter.
What is their Father doing? Do you know where he is? Does he know about them? Has he chosen no contact?
If he's chosen not to see them it must be hard to put a positive spin on that. Maybe them thinking they don't have a Dad is what they can handle at their age?
I'm sure others on here will have lots of advice to offer.
Love Gem
x