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So, my dilema is that im wondering how far i am to tell A's father about his development/school/doctor stuff/dentist etc (you get the jist), or whther it's for the father himself to ask.
Do i simply carry on with being a mum alone, or do i involve the father in decisions etc? Is it for him to involve himself by asking questions? (he NEVER asks and is very introvert ... like treying to get blood ouot of a stone)!!!
I'm confused over what i should do really.
Hi pink lilly
A really helpful post from zippy there (thanks zippy! 
)
Some parents find it helpful to design a form on which to write any info for the other parent, jot it down as it happens, and hand over the paper on a weekly/fortnightly basis.
Hi both, thanks for input. I would have done the same zippy. Dont blame you.
I have actually told A's dad thongs here and there when i feel its necessary, and he either reposnds with 'oh right', or nothing at all. So, is it best to just wait for him to ask?
The paper idea sounds great, but i'm not sure if i want to waste my energy on somebody who is responding to me previously, why should i carry on if the father doesnt seem bothered? See what i mean ...
thanks
*who isn't responding
I use to tell my daughters father everything but he paid little interest then would ask me things i had already told him twice, proving that he didnt listen then he would tell people different versions of what i had told him about our child and found found myself constantly correcting the facts so now i dont bother unless its really on a must know basis but i guess it depends on the father and how much input he has on the childs life
my childs dad pays little interest too, and the input he has is minimal at the moment, although getting better in terms of increased contact.
The effort between him and myself to discuss A, is pretty non existant. I feel iv'e tried and i receive very little in repsone, whiche gets me upset.
I refuse to try any more :)
Hi pink lilly, have you asked your ex how much he wants to know?
yes - he says he wants to be involved (in terms of knowing general 'stuff') when i asked him not so long ago. But, his actions suggest otherwise sometimes. He's relatively inconsistent, so one day seems interested in a TINY way, then other times nothing, And IT IS usually nothing coming from him.
I want to share things with him, i want to share decisions (e.g. birthday etc) with him, but he leaves it all to me and doesnt ask/initiate conversation regarding issues with our child. VERY frustrating!!
Hi pink lilly, it can be so frustrating when people are 'sometimes-ish' can't it.
Louise mentioned a form, I wonder whether you would consider getting a really nice notepad/book and then you can write things in there.
If he is interested he can look in it, it can be added to A's bag. In the book you can put information about his development/school/doctor stuff/dentist/birthdays etc, then it is up to dad to read it.
If he chooses to great, he is informed, if he doesn't it will still be a really nice keepsake for the future!
What do you think?
Hi Pink Lilly I think people's views on this will differ greatly. I started off by telling L's dad everything but it then got to a point where he was going behind my back over stuff at school so I stopped being so informative. I don't tell him anything about dentist or the opticians unless L gets new glasses a day or two before he goes to dads house just in case there's a problem. I tell him he's got hearing tests and when they are and he is welcome to attend if he wants he never does but that's his choice it's then down to him to ask how he got on. With regards to school I used to tell him when reports came out and what they said and I used to tell him when parents evening was but then he suddenly asked school to post him a copy of the report and told me he was working so couldn't attend parents evening then when I'd been the teacher hadnt mentioned seeing him I rang him to tell him what had been said and he told me he knew as he'd been into school earlier in the day. Since then I thought if you're going to lie and go behind my back I won't bother so I know tell him nothing and just wait for the phone call from him kicking off about how l's progressing at school as as far as he's concerned it's not quick enough. I think personally there needs to be some give and take on both sides. I am always willing to share information off my own back and if I'm asked but I won't have him going behind my back about stuff. I would say share the very basics and then if he wants to know more he can ask.
just remember its about what is best for A and how A can be cared for and helped to develop in the best possible way by both of you (if dad has contact obviously)