helprequired

Hi- I wonder if anyone out there can offer any advice on this...

 

My partner has a son with an ex who he hasn't been with since she was pregnant. She decided to have the baby on her own and my ex pays maintenance.  Since the day they seperated however she has harassed my partner, this has now been going on for about 3 years.  She phones about 5 times a day (it can go up significantly if she is unsettled), sends multiple texts and comes to the house unannounced in a hysterical state from time to time.  Despite all of this she refuses to allow my ex to see his child.  We have tried to go to mediation but the harassment increased and she refused to go along with the process but now that my ex has pulled out due to the costs he was incurring with little promise of a solution at the end of it she is now saying he is being unreasonable and she will not let him see his child without someone neutral there.  My partner wants a relationship with his child but his ex basically keep refusing and in the past has said she will only allow it if he goes back to being with her and living as a family with them. This is not something my ex would entertain and has told her so on many occasions.  They were already long seperated before he started seeing me but her latest threat is that he will never see his child again as long as he is with me.

We both have other children with ex partners and get along fine with them and our exes but in all my life I have never come across someone so difficult to deal with as his ex.  She constantly goes back on her word and changes her mind, promising to meet him at the part for examply but a minute before saying she won't, its like emotional torture for my partner.

Mediation seems only to work with 2 willing parties who both tell the truth and stick to their word, this is something the mother can't seem to do.  Is the only option to go to court now?  The mediator has told my partner she will sign the necessary forms to refer there if he wants.  Is it realistic to represent himself?  At the end of the process what decision would likely be made and how could it be enforced if the nother still refuses to turn up at the time / places agreed?

 

thanks

Posted on: June 16, 2014 - 1:05pm
Sally W
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

Hi helprequired, it does sound like your partners only option is to go to court, it looks like even the mediator has recognised that if they are willing to refer, i can't comment on him representing himself, if the courts do grant contact it does not automatically mean that the ex will comply with the court order, in which case your partner would have to go back to court, you could contact our Legal Expert to see if contact could be enforced.

Posted on: June 16, 2014 - 5:44pm

Louise
Parenting specialist DoppleMe

The forms to apply for the court to hear the case are pretty straightforward. It is likely that a hearing would be very brief as often the case is adjourned for CAFCASS reports so there is not a great deal for him to do in terms of standing up and making speeches. See what the Legal Expert has to say.

 

Posted on: June 21, 2014 - 11:40am