been divorced since 2009 i have two lads 12 and 18 and have shared care i have the youngest every other weekend. i have moved to a new house every time me and my Ex speak she makes threats and is abusive on the phone we only communicate by text now. last week end i moved to a new address she sent me a text demanding my new address she dose not drop of the child or pick him up i have to do every thing. she has never told me when she takes him out of the country on holiday or have had any emergency contact details for him when out of the uk she is now insisting she must know the address all of the relevant people school and clubs etc. have new address why should she she has my mobile number same number for 12 years. she has a new partner and has made threat in the past to get him to come and see me i don't want her to have the details we are divorced and have been since 2009. she goes to her new partners every other weekend and will not give me a contact address there.
hope you can help as im worried she will stop me from seeing my lad at the weekends
thanks ash
Hello Ash
I feel your pain about the abusive ex and its hard work, as you can not reason with a unreasonable person.
As a parent she just wants to know where your child is and maybe part of a control thing as she has the children and if she dont not know its a lose of a control.
It is a fine line i know as when my children are at the mums at weekend i have no idea what there up to as the responiblity is on her shoulder when its here turn to have them.
Is it going to cause any harm or hassle if you let her know your new address in case of a emergency ?
all the best Stuart
Hi Ash,
I know you say that it's been a long time since the break up but really it hasn't been that long. 10 years on my ex has only started to move on and concentrate on her life for a change.
It is heart breaking sometimes but you need to strive to concentrate on the children and not each other. If she had moved on then she wouldn't be giving your life such scrutiny. She is obviously still angry and hurt by you.
It will take time but in the meantime I would protect your rights and talk to a solicitor about making an agreement between you both.
Chin up, it does get eaiser (eventually)
Hi ash224w, welcome to One Space. I am sorry to read about your worries with contact and your ex.
I am not sure of your legal rights regarding having to give your address, you can contact our Legal Ask the Expert on this matter.
As a mother, I know I would like to know where my daughter was staying, even if it is with her dad, however I completely understand why you wouldn't want her to have your new address as it sounds as though she is very manipulative and controlling.
If you don't tell her, would she try and extract the information from your son and put him in a difficult position?
I believe schools and clubs would only need your mobile, I have never had to give an address.
So the question is, does she just want your address to have control, or is it so that she genuinely would like to know where her son is in case of an emergency?